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BgK

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Everything posted by BgK

  1. Day 25 This is quite a good news, I made it more than 1/4 through the detox journey! I wish someone can celebrate with me with some good laughs and beers. Regarding keeping going on this journey, the circumstances are not very helpful. My landlord was selling his house so I had to move. I came to this new place 4 days ago. I wish to make friends with other flat mates, real bad. I guess I also need to acknowledge the fact that not everybody wants to be friend. Painful to acknowledge. I am very sad. If I am determine to make friends regardless of what other flat mates think, this will put a big amount of pressure on me, which is fine, but at the same time have negative effects on making friends, b/c I then disregard their needs to be alone. Nobody likes to be disrespected. To get to the fact, it is me feeling lonely, not other people. I should take responsibility of my own need and not force it on other people. I am wondering, how does one process this lonely emotion? I am not talking about doing something to pretend to be busy, that doesn’t solve the real problem. Pretend to be busy is not fulfilling in the long term, one still gets lonely at night then really start questioning oneself what’s all this busy life about. I wish to face this emotion giant head on, but I have no clue of how? Progress: I am cutting down sugar/chocolate at the moment for 4 days already. Things I am grateful for today: My shoulder is recovering well! I can see myself back to my beloved badminton court in a few days! Nothing brightens me up more than that.
  2. @Amphibian220 Cool! Sounds fun to do and challenging. I will give it a go
  3. @Amphibian220 By staying away from pastry and bread, do you mean don’t eat carbohydrates or are there exceptions? About the topic of fasting, could you explain it a bit more. How does it help when dealing with resisting the urge? I am trying to pick up the long lost skill of running. It gets quite disappointing at the moment but I decide to stick with it for a month.
  4. Day 19 The urge is getting really hard to resist now. After I gave up gaming 19 days ago, I substituted gaming with watching YT. That doesn’t satisfy me. It doesn’t give me the same level of stimulation gaming gives to me. I am getting more and more unfulfilled:( and craving for stronger stimulation. The urge of watching explicit materials is getting very strong these days. Although I know even if I do watch them, and pmo, my satisfaction is just temporary. They also fk up my brain. how do I fight this? It’s really getting the best of me.
  5. @Amphibian220 That’s a new perspective. If viewing loneliness like that it will surely give us a boost of confidence.
  6. Same in depression. Have you consider going to church? There is an infinite big void in our heart that only an infinite big being can fill. I bet you try a lot of things now to fight with depression. I don’t have much to say but hang on to them, keep going don’t give up. You come a long way bro and well done
  7. Day 15 I got that alarm that rings every Tues reminding me of successful quitting for 7 more days. I just got that alarm yesterday. Exciting stuff! However I wake up today at the wrong side of the bed. Big void in my heart...sigh. I want to play badminton really bad. It’s my one and best hobby to help me fight the loneliness and I love to play it. Until I got a shoulder injury two weeks ago from smashing a shuttle. Now I cannot play sports. Spending time and resisting the urge to play games at night becomes very very hard. I was on acupuncture for the past two weeks and disappointingly it didn’t help much. I am going to get Physiotherapy as soon as the clinic opens after Christmas. I might even line up before dawn to get the first place. Happy Christmas. Things I am grateful for today: 1. friends gathering that’s going to take place this afternoon 2. being able to go to the beach nearby after I finish this journal. Update: pic of the peaceful seaside, taken on 25th
  8. Hi all, I am going on this excited yet challenging 90 days journey. I am on my 15th day today without gaming! I start this post, part of the purpose is to write about the ups and downs of my journey, but what I want to pay more attention, is how do I face the struggles. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by things, like the thought of not playing games for 90 days, like the fact of needing to develope some new life styles and hobbies to fill the void. They are tough stuffs. When I am emotionally overwhelmed what I can only function is to escape. That’s a natural response, keep me safe but not helpful for moving forward, at all! I want to write about my thoughts in those hard time. Looking at it with consciousness and face it head on, hopefully. I find it easier to work on those problems in this community, with journaling. Actually I already feel better typing these words. Any share of your success stories or stumbles would be most welcome. Love and peace. BgK
  9. When I used to game I often skipped eating for the whole day, until I was shaking and sweating cold sweat at 9 o’clock in the evening I would then get up and grab anything I can eat in the kitchen. It got really hard to eat a normal potion when I quitted. Something that helped me was my job, landscaping, a really physical job. It took me around 1 week to get close to the potion I used to eat thanks to my job. Do you have any physical activity that you enjoy doing? Try to do that. You will find yourself getting tired very quickly and your performance is much worser than before. At that time don’t be upset about yourself, because your body hasn’t done anything physical for a long time. Good that you walk the first step towards a better life style. Just take a rest whenever you need to and give your body enough time to recover. And the good thing is...you will find yourself hungry! That’s me personal advice.
  10. @reza MrbWell you want to eventually get rid of it but it’s not possible for some people to make a clean cut and never touch it again. If it works for you I will cheer for you, that saves a lot of troubles! There could be a reason why those smoking cessation programs give smokers electric cigarette or other substitutes to tune down their addiction gradually until they can finally cut lose from smoking.
  11. @Turner2012Yes, they are part of our past, our history and in some degree part of us. They brought good time and good memories as well as negative impacts to our lives. I am happy for you that you get over it and move on!
  12. I would like to know as well. Something that’s healthy, productive but take very low energy consumption which one can do when extremely tired
  13. @ben69 dopamine is powerful! I know how you feel, how frustrated it gets and the negative feelings relapsing bring to one person. Don’t give up
  14. Ok this sounds like an obvious question. If you want to quit, of course you delete the games. All of them! And any cache left behind. Delete any bookmarks that lead to gaming website and YouTube subscriptions. Throw away your figure model relating to games. while all of this sounds obvious and the first step towards quitting games, I personally experienced differently. I used to delete all the sh*ts altogether and made up my mind of not touching games, but I relapsed, a lot. Not sure it’s just me, when I didn’t see games around, there was that extra rebellion/curiosity/desire (I don’t know what to call it ) to think about games. It only happened when there was not a single game around. Strangely though, after a lot of relapses I decided to try keeping the games but not playing them. It gave me a sense of security. The message it gave me is this: it’s not that I was “forced” to quit gaming, it is that I regret gaming and I hate the negative effects they brought onto my life, therefore I chose not to game although I had the option of playing. You know what, this method gave me a great result. I didn’t play them for couples of months and I ended up deleting all my games after several weeks of not playing, when I felt comfortable to do so. Now that I had a stressful event and relapsed. I am curious what’s you guys’ opinion on this matter? What is the best way that works for you when you were quitting?
  15. Hi H.C, I have similar experiences. Since I ran away from the problems and fears, they were following behind me. They are banging at the door some of the days and waiting at the door the other days demanding attention. Gaming makes them seemingly go away but no, and avoiding them makes my life worse. Only until I fking face them to their faces and address them then they will truly go away. But the big, huge bonus is that one can Grow so much from addressing even a small problem. I am on my fourth day today quitting games. Glad to go together:)
  16. Hi Amphibian220, It is a long time since I do certain activities, it is making them daunting. I will try keeping track of my journey here. I guess I not only need to detect problems but also need to detect emotions?
  17. Hi Everyone, So gaming is creating a big problem for my life, I am looking to find the new version/inner protential of my self. 25 years male from NZ, I am facing gaming along with depression. Some days I just don’t have the strength to face this world. Getting out of the bed in the morning is especially hard. When everything is overwhelming it’s gaming that can remind me I am a very capable person and have some values to the world. Some times I game for the whole day without eating anything. I need some changes. Three days passed now, I start wondering how will this 90 days journey go. Throwing gaming out of the window, I lose the main source of my confident. When things are getting tough, I lose the place that I can go to hide out. When life seems meaningless, I lose the source that gives me meanings , well yes, just temporary meanings . What i am looking for during this hard time, is what probably everyone else is also looking for - the potentials in you that you didn’t realise before and what possibilities you can have with your life. Just want to say hi here?please forgive my English if it doesn’t make sense. What does make sense is our common hope for the best