Amphibian220

I cannot work at a high enough pace so that my employer changed my shift to work on weekends as well. I just had to accept it, because there is no other way to get the workload sorted out. I dont need tv shows.

I forced myself to communicate and to attend the meetings at my university’s book club. Living without social media initially induces an increase in anxiety, but this should subside as I continue in working on my communication skills.

I think I understood a peculiar form of self deception. The more I shirk my responsibilities, and neglect my health, the more I justify lack of success on things outside my control. It can be the employer that withheld my wages from me, the promotion that was unjustly given to somebody else etc. As this starts happening, morale and energy hits rock bottom. This causes a downward cycle of further hiding from responsibilities and blaming it on others. I am really below my target level, for over a year.

I came to return a loaned book and had to go upstairs to the library. The security guard on duty was finishing his sandwich and as a matter of fact cussed me in a dirty way, asking for my library card. I said I didn’t have one. The library worker on duty came down to let me in. I haven't got the right attitude at all with this. Will let him have a piece of my mind.

Common pitfalls that sap morale: the job is not sophisticated enough and brings hardly enough cash to pay the bills. The perception is distorted in such a way that it appears that workmates and superiors look down on you. This may be because some worrying makes it hard to communicate with people on the job. What sort of means can be employed to be more confident in communicating? Im behind on my council tax payments and I’ve got rent arrears too. I feel kind of stuck with an inability to find enough money. I think I will do freelance work to bring my money discipline back in line

Im going to try three sets of 15 swings with a light kettlebell and do it daily. If my back improves after 3 months I’m going to switch to a heavier weight.

Cool stuff man, congratulations on your book publication. what is the subject od your book? have you got experience refurbishing cars? May buy them cheap and upgrade them with better spare parts. kettlebells scared me when I received safety instructions on how I can hurt myself if I don't follow the rules. I’d stay with the 15 lbs kettle bell for a long time before trying the 50 lbs one.

What sort of daily Cardio exercise routine are you following. I think if you spend like 40 minutes a day breaking a light sweat, its going to be super good for you in fighting diabetes.

My awareness level has gone down because I'm not feeling the pressure, or i don’t care about the pressure. Im feeling fatigue.

Welcome to Game quitters Sean, Im glad you have taken this choice. About moderation, I will say what I have observed in my 3 years on this forum. There are members that need blockers on their phones and computers because the technology is designed around ease of access to harmful entertainment. Its enough to just unlock a phone to have advertisements about games pulling the attention. There were members who tried moderation and this insight was obtained. To play little without losing focus of priorities and discipline, means that the games have to lose all value to a person, but these members argued in favour of moderation exactly because games are a point of obsession to them. So essentially it was denial of a problem on their part and they relapsed into uncontrollable behaviours. I have not seen a successful moderation story, except wishful thinking on behalf of some members. What was very helpful is to find the mechanics that are enjoyable in video games in real life sports, work and activities. When I had found a job that suited my needs to be challenged, have team work, communication and a sense of progression, the illusion of video games became apparent. So if games lose the meaning for you, there will be no need to play in moderation. It will feel like a waste of time. Hope this answers the question.

All good, but please post every once in a while that you are on track with your therapy and recovery.

Thanks Patrick, Im not going to be a loser tomorrow. No social media crap and no self pity. My friend will judge a medieval sword fight tournament. I want to go and see it.

Improvement today for the first time since the relapse. I actually pushed myself to do better at work and education.

This is a really big impediment for growth. Can someone share knowledge on this. I just keep encountering the “if people would have treated me better” obstacle. This sort of obstacle makes me lose sight of my responsibilities and leads to a fall in the quality of my work. What sort of actions can I take to show myself I haven’t lost. I got healed in the past when i was criticized for my failures and had day to day improvement. My current colleague burns his time on social media and only commends me for what is an average quality. Never has he highlighted mistakes to me in a proper way. Ever since this started happening, I , for lack of things to worry about, started identifying things that aren’t good, but I can do nothing about. Getting angry, excusing myself and shirking responsibility. I understand that Im losing skills, so I have to switch to a more challenging role.

I think that regrets are coming up because I am not taking decisions for my benefit right now in time. If I would act with resolution and conviction I wouldn’t be thinking about past mistakes. It is the indifference and lack of strength that leads to more indifference. Working within a comfort zone causes the anxiety, but then can I do much to bring it down? I should find a group today and discuss an issue with them. Living without a community is a waste of opportunities.

Solid results, this means that the plan is working. I will avoid screen time in the mornings, at night and lunch time and see if I do better.

the interference was still there. The crap thinking that certain people haven't given me proper pay or due respect. I struggled to clear my head and experienced a loss of discipline. I happened to pass by a tv set that was demonstrating a first person shooter. So I stopped and watched it for about 15 minutes. i haven't touched video games for five years. I don't have a real life group with whom i could achieve something. Im disconnected at work. Im going to tackle my dream today.

I read this book , thanks for the suggestion. What I’ve decided is I’m going to make myself heard at work if someone is not treating me right.

this means there was something that was a good outlet but you have not found it to combat the old pattern. I can see in your posts that sometimes worries can drive you to this numbing habit. I have the same issue with social media, and I want to know how to defeat fear and anxiety, like a fighter gets in the ring and drops his opponent with his willpower. Over this period of journaling I noticed that If I can build up enough strength, then when a new difficulty cones, I will not overspend mental strength on it, but handle it as a matter of fact. I still can’t do it and I am getting the feeling I’m going to get into a more humble and honest approach if I dont want to get stuck in the crap old ways. Do you know what is great about kids? They are not stuck up in their heads and display a lot of courage. They know someone has their back. I feel crap that I have watched pointless shows as a way to numb, but that only happened because I slacked over the last year and didnt keep fighting at a high tempo. I have to find this strength somewhere and I have to pay attention to what people around me do, because that always arms me with intelligence and support from people.

Okay so there is this strong barrier that I want to knock out of the way. When i slack too much, i start thinking that my lack of success is due to other people and circumstances outside of my control. “People are bad because they should’ve given me better treatment.” this is the dumbest excuse ever.

Graat. Have you reached the goal with your body muscle? I have never remodeled a home, so I imagine i would need someone’s assistance if i was to do that. Great that you are trying these things. It shows that you are ready to try new things. Ready to do things means recovery from time wasting activities for me.

system trap elaborated If I haven't got the patience and consistency to achieve a real life goal, I compensate for it by watching shows. Watching that show makes me feel good and makes me forget about my priorities. Then, when I do come around to doing my work, I get the lie that my efforts dont count for a lot. My efforts do actually count a lot. Every single day. I cannot fail my days any longer. Every day has to be won by showing self-respect, treating others kindly, looking after my health, and doing fulfilling aport activities. In fact the greatest system trap of addictions is that small efforts don't add up. Small consistent efforts add up to the greatest victories.

Welcome to game quitters. There is a lot of work ahead. My suggestion is to get the respawn workbook on this website and perform daily tasks on it. The workbook contains chapters for self reflection and personal development. It is about targeting your needs in a responsible way. Remember that you have to be brave and confront yourself on things that you systematically avoid. You have the most noble fight ahead. To reclaim integrity, masculinity, discipline, become a healthy member of your community and ultimately to reclaim your community.

Now the thinking habit before wasting time is that looking through pointless information is necessary for my health. I struggle to see how that makes any sense at all. When I am doing an activity, i rush to complete it without delving on it. The rush is associated with wanting to watch more shows on the phone. As a result, my activities are rushed and unenjoyable. I also cut off people in the way I talk to them and don't show much interest in what they have to say. I want to delve in today’s work and activities and observe myself. edit: High degree of pride detected in time wasting habits. Assumption “I am of great ability and discipline”. I don't want to cancel the time wasting habits because the many failures will come to the surface and become apparent. Internet presents itself as a way to lower threat perception. It sort of works in bringing down worries but not in a sustained way. So social media presents itself as both a time wasting opportunity and a good cover to avoid character, strength, guidance, knowledge building.

its not the sports or shows that are stagnating me, but the unwillingness to get therapy for obsessive habits. I need to get a fix somehow, but my mental energy is too low to do the things I used to in the past. If I’d have a chance to beat somebody in advocacy, or do a big project, I would. but at the moment it’s only Lpo. i have this end in mind: i want to treble my income by taking on more work but also delegating more work. I realized people dont pay so much attention to the little things. I read about a company director who got fired because he failed his performance review. It turned out his responsibilities had changed with the growth of the company, but he hadn’t taken notice. I want to try doing two different jobs and split my time in the best way possible so that I keep learning new skills on the new job.