TheNewMe2.0

Haha yeah the barbells are so taxing. I saw a guy supersetting heavy bench with heavy deadlift and was like dang, that's about as taxing as it gets on your gas tank. YEah I'm trying to make sure I just listen to my body and take it easy when needed like you did today. It's totally the flip side of balance. It's cutting phase right now. Shoot let's get it. You're cutting too right? How's your food plan? Mines just cut down sweets and white carbs as much as possible.

hah that's an awesome story about your dad and your gym motivation 🙂 . I dunno I was just on one today lol. I really don't tell people no usually I just kind of hide. I feel like you're saying it's okay and most people can take a no. Which sounds true to me. How many reps do you do before you increase weight? 5, 10, 12? I think for compound for me it's like 5-7 but for smaller muscle group exercises it's 8-12. I don't even know why I'm training today I'm too tired to think lol. It just keeps me happy and healthy. It's a passion for me and it can be really fun sometimes.

Wait I did something like for the first time in my life today. I told someone I don’t game. And I didn’t back down from it. I was relentless in telling them I didn’t game. That it doesn’t work I won’t game. I won’t game but I’ll support you doing it. It was a lot and I’m not out spoken like that. But I guess I gained some courage today. It felt good. Usually I just sit quietly and say uh huh. While silently reminding myself not to game afterwards. That works to keep the streak going but actually saying it out loud to someone. Even like fifteen times ina row till they stopped telling me “you can game.” Was a victory for me. It was growth. It was scary, but good scary. :’) phew lol. it makes me feel like I can talk to people again without being afraid they’ll peer pressure me and I’ll get upset. Or even worse cave and relapse. Or try playing with them. That’s always a fail. Always leads back to relapse for me I won’t do it. No dang I’m saying no like out loud to people that’s crazy. Wow. Woah.

Upper lower for the win lol! All three of us are into it 😄 Oh dang that’s fancy programming! Very cool you must be developing well sculpted muscles with attention to detail training like that. S2 also for a 1.5 hour workout how many exercises do you do? Are you doing good weight or rep numbers? I’d think so if you put in that kind of time but idk what your strategy is hehe I’m really hungry for more strength gains. It will bring more muscle if I can just lift more. Im trying to sleep earlier and meal prep every two days to be optimizing recovery. I’m planning to do a shirtless cosplay this Halloween. Not to be an eff boy but just because I’m hot, motivated to get cut up and like the attention lolllll. Oh gosh. How’s your progress or are you in a maintenance phase? Do you socialize at the gym and have tips to do so?

Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks for the welcome back 🙂 I was cool with a couple people on here before but they just kept relapsing and left heh. Yea I was keeping my mousepad but it’s time to toss it. I gave my gaming comp to my mom and she just uses it to check email and watch Chinese YouTube hahah. Oh well hopefully the powerful computer will last her a long time. I don’t like being around it tbh. What’s your book about?

Oh gosh I don’t mess with discord. I’m kind of basic like that. Omm is there like a direct messaging system on this forum we can talk on I don’t mind keeping my posts to gaming addiction if that respects the rules. But I’m ok to post here or DM here if that can work. thanks for all the info and complimenting my superset choices! You sound like a big strong guy. Which is cool. I’m totally naturally small starting at 135lbs 6” when I was 21 then bulking to 185lbs now. Like everyone my newbie gains wore off. So I’m just grinding for a bit more strength every week hoping to make progress over the long term and reap the benefits. I want to have gains that are rare. To be aesthetic to the point where it’s very hard for even people with good genes to touch. Only those with long term dedication, effective application of knowledge and work ethic can achieve. Not better than the general population. But better than the general gym population. sounds lofty but it’s really not that wild. I just take care of myself and lift four days a week like you. I want to take inspiration from you and lift legs better. Maybe I can do like the hamstring curl or quad ext machine. Really the barbell squat and leg press weren’t working for my body. 220 is a high goal but maybe that’s common to dream big for us or I guess smaller haha. I want to cosplay Goku with my gains and other anime heroes. Anything fun you wanna do with yours?

Great question 🙂 the long discourse is four days a week upper lower. Monday Tuesday Friday Saturday. upper: bench dip Superset with pullup low row cable machine military press curl superset with skull crusher HIIT cardio eliptical as time allows Lower: goblet squat db lunge db calf raise roman chair back ext situp or a plank if my upper isn’t sore I’ll superset push-up and lat pull down on this day but obviously I’m not going too heavy as I’m tired from the previous day HIIT eliptical it takes me around 1.5 hours to complete my workout. Maybe one hour each day for just the strength training part. As the weight goes up the time goes up as well. Which im completely okay with. However that means I need to start getting up at 645am instead of 7am. Thankfully my gym opens at 5am weekdays so I’m good time wise. And I’m so enthusiastic about training that there’s nothing I’d rather be doing with my time than sleeping early and getting up early to go exercise. Making progress is a wonderful thing. S2 I do some yoga to stretch walk and foam roll just sort of regularly on rest days. Yoga is almost everyday but it’s 5-10 minutes. I’d like to fit a full yoga flow in but tend to not have time or energy. Like on Sunday would be good I just don’t want to do so much yoga that it hampers my strength gains heh. What’s your routine like and how long does it take you? What’re your goals right now and are there any exercises you’re excelling at? What about ones you’re working on and why they matter to you? For example my most advanced exercise is probably a 25lb weighted pull up 3x4 or bench 185lb 3x5. Lots of ppl do way more of course but I weight 180 about so I’m happy I’m over my body weight. I’m trying to work on my legs and core. Im hoping if I can do more sit-ups and heavier leg stuff it’ll give me better abs and legs heh. I have more questions but I already asked so many heh have a good day ^_^

It’s another day here I’m Probably gonna toss my old gaming mousepad and get a normal one just to generate more barriers to entry and put the mouse in the top corner of my sos closet that should do the trick today I’ll watch anime and go to a meetup hangout. I oddly need to ice my left foot to reduce a small bruise I got from, wait for it. Walking in flip flops ???? Whaaaat? How does that even happen? hah oh well. I could like in a padded cell and I’d probably bump my head somehow 🙂 it’ll be fine and I’m doing good. I slept in a lot which isn’t great so I’ll get more disciplined and go after my early bedtime tonight. And every night . otherwise I’ll probably be okay all in all. Partners still away in France so I’m enjoying I suppose like. Reading the dharma and watching shows. Hanging with friends more. Just feels like not much going on. In a good way. My mind has time and space to settle.

Ommmm not totally sure I wanna hang with those three I spent all day with today. like ever again hahahahahah I have such high standards I don’t really mind Gough. I dint mind posting and taking up a ton of space on here. No one really reads this anyways. I posted for a year daily. It worked it wasn’t fun or enjoyable though and I’m just posting now to make sure this experiment I did stays stopped. How to go out on top at gq? have a good experience theres something magical about this forum these places people get sober they have a hold on us a good energy that sinks into us and changes us makes us able to abstain or moderate it’s a miracle people are special people are miracles and I’m thankful for us even if I am an introvert with such high standards for friends I don’t have any but I will and you can bet they’ll be the best of friends if I let them in 🙂 Good night gamequitters goodnight moon 🌙

Cool I figured it out i don’t really feel that crazy with games anymore. Probably cause I took a four years complete abstinence. And now. I feel like I went out on top. I got to play a basic lol round with master yi. I got the highest score and all the objectives. With like 14 and 0 or at least 12 anyways. it was fun. I won. I was the top player. That’s all good. And now I can happily go out on top I feel. I didn’t need to climb and all that again. The gaming hurts and tires my body unnecessarily. So. That’s fine. that is to say the experiment is concluded and I’m still abstaining completely from games. Friends aren’t really worth it and I don’t enjoy games much anyway. Never really did tbh. They’re just unhealthy imho. Yes in my opinion gaming is unhealthy. It makes you constantly click and do things fast with your hands which leads to repetitive stress on your body. It’s not worth doing and you’re just wasting your health on it. my back doesn’t like it and neither does my wrist. It took seeing the gamer friends to realize, that crap isn’t worth it to me. And I won’t be swearing or saying HAH either. social news I find that although I like people. I also find them terribly bothersome. Just so annoying. Lol. so annoying. Gosh . They all appreciate that I’m in good shape. But if I say a word about my workout stuff they throw a fit and just are totally shutting down. Then when they talk about their politics they feel entitled to talk non stop for thirty minutes. Where was the part where you listen to me talk about my workouts for thirty minutes? Where’s the reciprocation? I listen all day at work and I get paid well for it. You can tell me about your pet turtles bowel movements for $50 an hour buddy. I don’t mind at all just keep it respectful with me. but as a friend in my personal life the standards are high. You need to be reciprocating with listening and such. yep meh whatever gonna stick that laptop somewhere I can’t get it now. Like. In my sos closet under clothes. or in the hard to reach cabinet. Until moms home. Then I’ll return to it her. Experiment complete. it honestly felt good to end on a positive note with games. It’s like cam said that last hurrah is cool. Like he did with StarCraft. It was what I needed to realize. Gamings not worth it for me and no friend is worth putting in countless hours into some game. Not for me. Not for anyone. I wouldn’t do it. that’s cool with me. and what’s the value of a friend anyways if they make me uncomfortable? I don’t feel comfortable or compatible often with others. I do hope that I’ll find three friends to be close and consistent with that meet those criteria. Yea I’ll find them eventually. I’m gonna take a break tomorrow likely. darn I’m kind of out of venues for making friends. BFF always stresses me out I don’t want to b in there that only leaves meetup. And chatting with ppl at the gym which never happens well I guess it’s rare ? meetups are exhausting of course. Not as bad as bff tho. So I will maybe go tomorrow for food with ppl. They kinda got into gossiping last time. Little sketchy there. But oh well. I just feel like people are so quick to not like what I have to say. When all I really do is talk about my hobbies. They’re basically upset if you do anything other than listen to them talk about themselves. Too selfish. I guess that means I should just start side conversations with people about common interests. Yeah. idk the anime club ppl aren’t even like talking about anime much. Or when they did they just wanna talk like not listen it kind of sucks. Meh meh meh ok put laptop in the cabinet Well I got the charger up in there it’s so high up above the fridge it’s the hardest to get spot in the house. So that should do it I’ll stick the rest in the closet and in like a drawer so it’s all over the place tomorrow. then return to mom when she’s home. cool good plan maybe try to find a guy friend to go to laf with perhaps. On a Saturday morning idk. I really am not sure about it. I don’t want to do that actually. My aim is to just sit in on the meetup regularly and see if anyone’s like ripe friend material hah. goodl uck comfort and compatibility Saiyonara alright not what I pulled the plug experiments over guess it’s back to nofap journaling haha I’ll probably go to that foodie meetup tomorrow. Even though it’s often awkward for me. That one seems best so far and I can checkout like some other one at some point. I didn’t see anything yet though that looks good aside from perhaps hiking Well I’m really grateful for this site. Posting and reading here always makes me feel confident that I’ll be able to keep calm and game quit on

I stopped the experiment with lol. That stuff was just too tiring and just sort of too tiring for me. I don't want to do it. I already agreed to spend time with a friend and play genshin with them so I'll experiment that like one hangout but I'm not feeling all that optimistic about it. If I can successfully moderate it for say 30 minutes today then I could maybe be ok trying to go forward. I'm just back on here as a safety net to prevent a relapse into uncontrolled bingeing. So either I'll be able to moderate genshin or I won't and I'll just continue full sobriety instead of harm reduction. It is possible I'll have more friends or whatever. But I'm kind of the opinion that I should just not even play any games at all and stick with what's been working you know. I can make friends through bodybuilding and anime. I don't need games to socialize. Even if it does make it easier sometimes. Streaks are never perfect. and if they are it'll just make you feel anal.

I wanna make friends so please do comment and I’ll love to reply and checkout your diary 🙂 I’ve tried to make friends by posting on others journals and stuff. It doesn’t tend to work that great but maybe I just need to try different journals to read. I dunno I try. I guess I was off games for a couple years but I’ve played maybe 3 days this week trying to do it to socialize with people I met in person. It works and they’re texting me but. I don’t think games work for me honestly and I’m just gonna pull the plug again on the games. I’ll still try to hangout with the people in person tho as we all like anime and can bond over that. Yeah idk. Gamings just not good for me even in small doses it seems. I don’t mind it’s just kinda depressing to not have friends. And it to not work out with trying to moderate games to make friends. Makes me feel like I was really desperate. Not the best feel. I do have some good news as I like to stay focused on the positive believing that’ll help it grow. The negative is only to be worked with to find solutions. This prevents rumination and getting stuck. the good news is my bodybuilding ikigai (passion or hobby) is thriving. I made a couple budding friendships there that I hope will turn into the real thing through consistent hangs. I’ve got a meetup to go to this Sunday so I’ll look forward to that as well. Some people there may have the same gym membership as me then we can train. I’m at LAF so that’s cool. It’s a good spot for me as I need the Roman chair for my back. Some were into anime too. That’s my main hobbies food anime workout. so common interests are key. Other than that 1 common interests 2 nice 3 consistent 4 fit that’s the ideal list for a friend for me. But if there are maybe just the first three I can probably be fine with that. Doesn’t have to be perfect just doable.

Everyone here gave excellent advice and I recommend trying it all. Or at least some of it. The heart to hearts quality time with son and therapy stood out as gems to me. right so my idea and to be honest the only thing I think will actually work is the hardest thing for you to do as a parent. you have to take back control. Who pays for the wifi and has the power to pull the plug? Who pays for his games and system? it’s all you. You have the power to stop it. I’m a licensed therapist and I see this all the time with teenagers especially boys. The parents are never willing to take the games away. Why? It’s always the same reason! They don’t want to deal with their kid being mad at them and their house turning into a verbal war zone. No one wants that! Not me either. but here’s the hard truth. Pull the plug, put the system in your car until it’s time to let them use it, change the wifi password and input it for them everytIme without remembering password. Unplug the wifi at night etc etc. Do whatever it takes to limit or extricate games in his life. Do the same with all his devices. He will likely rate yell maybe even call you a B**** or say he hates you. That’s the short term pain you as a parent will go through for the long term gain of a healthy son with a healthy relationship with him! ITS WORTH IT SO DO IT get support you need a therapist who is on board with this plan to back you push you to make it happen! Good luck my friend is the short term gain of having him be happy with his game worth it to you for the long term pain of a failure to launch child who is a gaming addict that simply Leeches off you to sustain his addiction? if I were in your shoes that system would be gone. Kid can scream and rave all he wants. If he threatens or attacks me I’ll tell him I’m calling the cops and he’s goi g to Juvenille hall if he pulls that crap ever again

It is about what works for you to build confidence and find a place you feel the most success meeting women you like. that being said. You must tend to your appearance. Hygiene clothing fitness health are paramount in generating attraction. I’m fortunate to be 6” tall and pretty. However I had acne braces and was exceedingly thin in high school which wasn’t great for my confidence even though I still had girlfriends anyways. When I found what worked for me with girls I was like 33! My mantra is money muscle mindful. If my spiritual practice, career and fitness are all good. Then I feel like a very eligible catch. I took accutane for the acne. after going from 135 to 175 lbs at 10% bodyfat I was getting some attention on Hinge and I’ve been in a good relationship for over a year now. so basically. 1. appearance 2 a venue to meet ladies 3 do something that makes you feel good and kinder so you can have a relationship not just a fwb 4 do something towards your career like getting good grades planning your major out good luck

I made a few friends who like anime and gaming recently. I was wondering if I’d be able to moderate. like doing it every other day for an hour but honestly I feel like I’m not the moderate gaming type and the only sanity for me is abstinence. Have y’all had success with moderation or only abstinence? How can you tell when it’s one or the other for you?

2 years + Been two years since I quit gaming. Thankful that I've been clean this long. My life has a changed a lot. I'm focusing on doing nofap now. No porn masturbation or orgasm. It's going well I'm at day 35 there. So that's no substances, games and no PMO for my sobriety hat trick. Haha. I've made a lot of progress although it was slow and steady going for a long time. Then a catalyst occurred and I had a big life growth spurt. Now it's back to slow steady progress but the spurt has maintained. Three years ago till now I went from: jobless, gaming 4-8 hours a day, almost no exercise or spiritual practice and eating mostly microwaveable food to maximize time on the video games. 😞 Currently I am working as a counselor at a job that both pays and treats me better than I've ever experienced. I'm moving towards my LPC license this year. I'm involved in weight lifting, yoga and martial arts clubs. I have friends! And I'm dating 2+ girls at the moment hoping to make one of them my girlfriend and live that nice settled life if all goes well. 🙂 I've also progressed in my anime drawing, poetry writing and singing. Gained 10 lbs of muscle, improved my style and haircut. Become much better at managing my stress levels and being kind in relationships regardless of how stressed I am. I'm starting to take space ❤️ for myself when I need it. Last night I said goodnight and turned my phone to airplane mode at 7pm to just sit around and do wahtever in my room. Read, meditate yoga. I'm learning to not take cold showers because it makes me too cold for like days after sometimes. But I'm doing the wim hof method breathing and that's helping. I got up to a 4 minute breath hold one time. I think if I do a lot of WHM I'll be able to handle the cold shower aftermath. BEing in the shower is no problem but afterwards I be cold 😕 Love that breathing tho I put away my second pillow so that it like doesn't rub againt my area at night and cause temptation for PMO relapse. yep. May everyone on here get off the games and stay off. Or whatevers best for you.

@BooksandTreesThanks man, I appreciate your friendship too.

This is my see you again letter Positive: I feel like I've gotten a lot of good out of being here on gamequitters. I found hope and inspiration to quit gaming when I felt hopeless. I met cool people and we helped each other. I was loved and supported when the waves were rocky and the weather all a storm. I learned to focus on the positive because it will cause you to live longer. I learned about how to go about romancing a woman. I found strength and motivation to pursue my goals especially when it comes to abstinence from substances, masturbation, gaming, scratching my skin, sexual thoughts, etc. And I also found some balance to not pursue goals too much. I'm grateful for everyone who has posted on my page, sent love and encouragement to me @Icandothis@Realworlder@Theresa@BooksandTrees@Phoenixking etc. I used to feel really happy being on this forum, offering people encouragement and interacting with my regular peeps. But I think something is starting to change in my life. And yesterday I just felt like I've kind of done my time here. I've gotten what I came for. Training in how to maintain abstinence from gaming. In Thailand the people are often asked or even required to go live at the monastery as a monk or nun for 1 year then they get to return to the life of a layperson with a more enlightened way of being. I feel like I've done this with AA, Church, and now Gamequitters all of which I stayed at for a year and kept the good things I learned from them and will continue to do so. It's my time now to learn and grow in loving myself. Please Wish/pray/send good things to me. Sending love. TheNewMe P.S. I'm taking a break from GQ I may come back later to stay sober, check in with the good people and or to link you to my ebook. (I'll make it free :).

Hey Johebe, great job with all the progress you made. How you changed your thought from negative to positive about people who give 100% was amazing. Wim Hof says if you give it all you'll get it all. Of course I'd add take time to rest and do nothing. If you want some ideas for how to increase your strength to resist gaming let me know. I can offer options that will help. Keep up the good work.

Positive: I have made contact with an author I like and am modeling my first ebook after. And she has been very nice to me and is actually beginning to mentor me in writing and publishing a book. Her ideas are to get a website going which I was already thinking about doing. And sending out a newsletter or a blog. IT's pretty cool. She's into yoga too and meditation spirituality prayer . . . Now that I'm doing better I'm so much more like enthusiastic and happy and laughing singing seeing things as beautiful. I'm practicing 'good enough'. It's actually pretty funny and liberating. I don't feel an obligation to be the perfect religious person that obeys scripture 1000% anymore. I feel like I can see now what I feel is good enough. Instead of pushing myself to achieve perfection. Maybe I can push myself to be good enough. That sounds a lot better. haha. Thanks for reading. It will all work out

Positive: I'm getting better. Slowly but it's happening. I'm practicing living in the possibility not the probability. It's from a decent book I read called Om Freely free ebook. It inspired me to write a short ebook of my own. I'm taking a break from writing the ebook though so I can continue practicing the tenets of my own book. Eventually I'll be so well versed in them myself that I'll be bale to better explain them and they'll have a better energy to them so people will feel good when they read it. Just a short something like 30 lessons about 5 sentences each or less. What's that like 1-2k words? Nothing very much. One of the teachings would be 1. 'Good enough'. If you're struggling with something being imperfect just think good enough. This toast is a little burnt, good enough. I don't have perfect skin, good enough. You get the idea. For the title maybe Good Enough. My mom helped me come up with the title. I smiled at life I accomplished affirming three days in a row so I'm buying myself a small reward hooray I am grateful for gratitude mom's help w/ title and syrup yum Everything will work out

Positive: My mom says I look to be walking better. The interesting thing is she said that the day after I tried doing a visualization I learned from the book use your mind to heal your body. So maybe it's working? I'm continuing to visualize like they said to. I smiled at Vipassana I accomplished doing wim hof breathing I am grateful for WHM, vipassana, and loving kindness. Good luck

Positive: I'm practicing reciting the buddhist 5 precepts and 10 virtues. It's been helping. I even got a client to meditate on energy and determination with me to help us go achieve our goals. Hopefully he uses it in a positive way. Hehe not like , 'I'm super determined to eat burger kind everyday.' Sorry no offense to BK it's just not that healthy I htink. Mom's still making me food, she said I look like I'm walking better today. I'm beggining my journey to memorize and recite the 8 limbs of yoga. I'm starting small by just memorizing one each day and thinking about it for a little bit instead of just memorizing 5 at a time like I did with the virtues. It's good to go slow. Like that XX song Crystalized. I smiled at bluberries I accomplished a little bit of Samadhi or oneness I am grateful for my portion control. I'm eating 50-80% of what I used to each meal. And I've gone from 175 lbs+ to ~170. I'm 6"1 Good luck

@RealworlderThanks. About 5lbs to go. just trying to get there gradually. Ya Idk I'm trying out a new meditation timer app. I'll see how comfortable I feel with it. Gratitude: I'm grateful for my spiritual friends I talk to. I was struggling a lot with affirmations, but now I'm dialing back the intensity a lot. Trying to start small, baby steps and simplify. So I guess I'm grateful for affirmations. Idk if I'll be able to do them but I'm resting in the possibility that I'll actually make some headway with them and do better. I'm generally better at visualizing myself thinking/speaking them but not very good at actually speaking or thinking them in my own head. Maybe I'll just focus on what I can control here and work on visualizing myself thinking/saying them and that will generalize into helping me think and say them just normally without requiring visualization. Like how the runners visualize running a lot and I'm sure that's a lot easier than actually running the race. I'm grateful for prana and drawing in new energy each day so I can survive the day. I'm just trying to survive right now, once I do that I'll think about doing more. So I'm grateful for surviving and my grandpa who said, 'I came I saw I survived.' In reference to going through the adversity of the Great Leap Forward. And I'm greatful for this book on visualizations. Even though it's not perfect. And I'm feeling ridiculously uncomfortable with it at times. The things he teaches have been helpful. Especially the stuff about medications/placebo, calming down. But really just that he encourages you to make your own visualizations and states the idea of gradual progression in the visualization starting where you think you're at and steadily moving towards the goal till you're visualizing success. It will work out

Just think 'Stop hurting/harming yourself.'