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Everything posted by Erik2.0

  1. I'm glad things are going well too. Fights suck, it's great to make up.
  2. I get kind of loopy after a lot of Netflix too. I can't imagine going 13 hours. I have to push myself to watch two hours in a day. I forgot you can overdo it. Good luck moderating tv. As long as you stay off the games it'll only be a matter of time before you start managing other areas of your life better. There isn't anything else to do and it's great making progress.
  3. Yeah forget moderation. Quit gaming forever ahhh go team. I've been craving gaming more since the quarantine too. It's being at home with your computer and not being able to get away from it. Man just typing about it is making me stir crazy. I've really been enjoying shows, walking, at home exercise, meditation, books and drawing since being cooped up. It sounds like you have plenty of other things to keep you busy too. Stick with the club and quit gaming while finding something else to do. It's the good life. ❤️ 8-) @BooksandTrees Now I'm thinking about masturbating after 3 months nofap. I could change it to noporn which I've done for a while. Idk masturbating gets kind of boring and then I want to try porn again and then I quit porn again is how I remember it all going. I asked my doctor if he thinks masturbation is healthy or it's better to not masturbate. We'll see what they say.
  4. Hey, it's great you're doing all those things to self-care and live an awesome life. Calisthenics are really cool. I also meditate and do yoga. Do you have a pull up bar and those dip bars for at home use?
  5. Sorry I only saw this today for some reason. Thanks so much for your feedback. It's really made me feel okay with enjoying the process and not so focused on getting results asap. I like the idea of training long term. I'd like to be a strong dad that gives his children some heavy numbers to aspire to. Good point on your dopamine post to focus on meaningful activities. I find that's the best way to get my mind off games is to focus on something meaningful to pursue.
  6. Day 124 NF 93 Np 78 Med 64 Positive post: I drank some water, ate breakfast and did drawings. I'm doing this post way early today because its been crammed into my evenings lately and that's no good. I don't have much to say. I'm looking online for manga tutorials @Laurie Do you know any good manga tutorials online I could check out please? My mom's starting a caregiver job since she has mostly free time now. Guess that means I'll get to see her less. 😞 I think I'm going to go ahead and watch some Netflix, lift weights and go for a short walk with my mom. I'm checking out all the self help books on my list as samples and seeing if any are readable for me. So far I've got 'four habits of joy in a marriage'. Hopefully that one works out. I smiled at the trees outside. I accomplished getting out of bed at 845am. I am grateful for napkins, the nice weather, trees, grass, the sky, being alive, clients, macbook air, moms financial advice and hiking. God bless Erik
  7. @BooksandTrees Thanks for your support. I hope to find some other kind of group to join too. Once this is all over anyways. I haven't needed 12 hours my whole life so yeah maybe it will clear up. Day 123 NF 92 Np 77 Med 63 Positive post: I walked like 7 miles today, I chilled with my mom and I applied for jobs. Yay, four months. I've been wanting to game more lately and it's no fun to deal with those feelings, but I'm doing it. I've been feeling like I don't want to do anything lately. Maybe it's the quarantine, maybe I'm just walking too much? At any rate work week start tomorrow, I hope I do well enough. Drawing is nice, but it kind of makes me get stressed and my skin will get oily when I draw so I tend to avoid it. Except with clients when I do art therapy because it's such a good way to pass the time in a therapeutic way. I wonder if I'll continue with art therapy or just find something else to have people do. Lately I've been getting people to journal. Kind of like here. I don't like to talk about work that much. I tend to get upset at the clients when I talk about them outside of work so I'll just stop now. I don't really know any drawing techniques to draw from imagination. I only end up drawing anything decent looking if I have something to try and copy. Maybe I could learn somewhere. I'm so focused on just my sleep and energy levels that I don't really have headspace to care about hobbies or much of anything else. My life focus is just work and sleep right now. It's okay, I can't wait to get to sleep. I hope everyone's weeks and sleep go well. I smiled at the office. I accomplished meditating. I am grateful for my calendar, nose, job, clients, sleep, meditation, walking, mom, nature, and eraser. God bless Erik
  8. It's okay to think about your future, but remember to come back to the present. “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
  9. Day 122 NF 91 Np 76 Med 62 Positive post: I walked for an hour, finished a book on christian dating and talked to a friend on zoom. I am doing the best I can do live a good life and be a good person. It's not easy. I am really trying though. I'm cutting out the Bible study group, shows that make me feel dark and this bible study podcast too. They all made me feel dark and I didn't like it. I was kind of getting snippy with people. That's one of my telltale signs that something I'm doing isn't working for me. Even though I live a life of mediocrity. It has some semblance of peace. That peace is worth defending even if it means not going on dating apps right now and not having more than one friend who lives in another country. Even if I work at a job where I'm not making that much money and still am not earning residency hours yet. I'm also not yet able to sleep less than 12 hours a night so even if they offered them to me I wouldn't be able to work full time. They don't know that yet though and hopefully my body is someday able to function with 10.5 hours of sleep a day so I can fit the full time hours into my day. Like @BooksandTrees said, working and sleeping isn't that bad of a life. It could be better, but it could always be a lot worse too. I could have no friends instead of one. I could have no job, be earning less money, have no relationship with my parents etc etc. I'm just going to do a gratitude list for all the good things I have in my life because I have a lot going for me even if it's not the perfect life. I smiled on my walk because the rural neighborhood makes me feel good when I go. I'd like to live in a more spaced out place like that. I accomplished finishing a 9 hour audiobook. I am grateful for my friend, my parents, job, money, hours I've accrued toward licensure, weight I can lift, drawings, kindle, bible, and prayer. God bless Erik
  10. I hope your social media detox goes well. Kingdom looked too scary for me.
  11. God help your grandpa and @Icandothis.
  12. Woah, I'm sorry for your diagnosis. That's really heavy. I hope things get better for you.
  13. @Icandothis Thanks the cherry blossoms do bring me peace. They're nice where I'm at too. @BooksandTrees I decided not to change my meds, lowering them wasn't a good experience. I probably get enough healthy food. I might lower weight lifting to 3 instead of 4 days we'll see. Hopefully I get going with my residency soon. I'm not totally sure what's going on there, but I'm talking to someone to get it going. Day 121 NF 90 Np 75 Med 61 Positive post: I went for a 4 mile walk today. I've been enjoying fruit instead of refined sugar. The cherry blossoms are nice. Yesterday was a pretty depressing post. Today wasn't so bad though. I knew if I just got to sleep I'd be okay the next day. I'm kind of just grinning and bearing it with the whole sleep thing. I don't feel like there's much to talk about it now unless it changes. I think being at home somehow makes my body want even more sleep and food than usual. Still it's nice being at home all the time. Listening to the birds outside, going for walks and watching comedies on Netflix. I've resorted to mostly watching comedies as pretty much all other genre's are kind of disturbing for me. I just don't seem to handle them well: drama, action, horror etc. My dad's kind of similar, but he likes comedy/action genre. My client likes me to draw him Pokemon. It's kind of a cool way to pass the time. I smiled at people I walked past. I accomplished a 4 mile walk. I am grateful for my mom, dad, calendar, meds, schedule, air, birds, sky, clouds, stars and moon. God bless Erik
  14. Day 120 NF 89 Np 74 Med 60 Positive post: I'm alive, I've improved my understanding of what I need to do to get licensed and I'm at 4 months gaming sobriety. Today was really a tough pill to swallow. I realized that I could've been accumulating hours towards licensure these past ten months of work, but just didn't know what the paperwork to count hours was until now. So I'll be bugging my higher ups to fill out paperwork now to get my hours to count. Then I'll be a supervised resident in counseling. And I've got to renew my residency annually. I think I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Life has just somehow become more tiring. I seem to be needing even more sleep to function. I have no idea how I'll be able to work a full time job with my sleep the way it is. I'll basically have no life outside of work and sleep is how it looks. I feel really heavy right now. I'm not looking forward to figuring out what I need to do to get hours and emailing my boss about it tomorrow. But I've got to do it asap. I can't believe I wasted all this time I could've been counting towards licensure. It's a hard blow to my licensure process. I'm already 31 and behind the curve financially. This just makes it that much worse. It just feels like I'm never going to get my life together. All I can do is keep trying though. tomorrow's another day. I made a lot of big mistakes, but all I can do is learn from it and try to do better. I smiled at saiki funny show. I accomplished going on a long walk. I am grateful for pens, food, curry, quinoa, people, MacBooks, apple, family, book stands and cherry blossom trees. God bless Erik
  15. Awesome drawing. Thanks so much for sharing. My hero academia is a good show. It's good you draw often it'll add up.
  16. Day 119 NF 88 Np 73 Med 59 Positive post: Oh man, sorry to be groaning on here, but today I was too tired to exercise. I think trying to increase cardio to 7 instead of 3 days a week was too much for me and my body decided to take a rest day. I'm not as happy as usual as a result. I'm trying to read some book to make me feel better. When I watch tv by myself I sometimes get sad and lonely feeling. God will help me through this. I ordered a bible companion to see if I can get a better understanding of it this read through. Just reading it without a guide is nice and helpful too though. My mom's busy doing things so maybe I'll go run errands with her. It'd be nice to get out of the house. I went to Costco. It was nice to see people again. I might be an introvert, but I'm not a recluse. Today's kind of just a tired day. Tomorrow will be more energy and exercise again. Works become pretty minimal time commitment wise. It's kind of nice, but it's also like, not much going on. I smiled at Evangelion (anime on Netflix). I accomplished cooking Thai curry. I am grateful for Costco, god, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, seaports, hot water, tea, blankets, my feet, socks and hair. God bless Erik
  17. Hello and welcome to the forums. I've struggled with reading too, but now am much better thanks to working with the science of breaks: https://open.buffer.com/science-taking-breaks-at-work/. I saw you use an hour then break method. I use the pomodoro 25/5 and the 52/17 break intervals. They've really helped me out a lot to read books and just accomplish whatever. Maybe they'll help you even more than your hour interval because hey, its science.
  18. Woah quarantine is for real. I'm still tempted to go to work as I'm not prevented to do so yet by quarantine. Your work seems chill, that's nice. Glad to see you progressing with your hobby.
  19. We could all get on dating apps, message and Skype girls indefinitely. Man dating apps and in person approaching were always really hard for me. I feel like I might just be stuck being single unless I get set up with someone. My only idea for joining a group was anime club. I'm kind of tired of looking for churches too. So . . . if that doesn't net me a girlfriend after a time. I'll probably be on that single forever life or bite the bullet and try to dating app again. How do you all feel about dating apps anyways? I hear you have a lot of energy that comes and goes in waves. You want to do something as a hobby and you're self-exploring to figure out what might click for you. Whatever you do remember to try to do a little consistently and it'll add up. But until you find out what you feel like doing it's just a process of trying this and that I know. Life's a lot of trying new things. Then you pick some. Then it's kind of boring with the sudden lack of chaos. But then it's nice and consistent.
  20. @Cam Adair Thanks cam 🙂 Day 118 NF 87 Np 72 Med 58 Positive post: I'm coming up on four months. I sang a little today after reading the slight edge. It was saying how important it is to do little habits each day that build up over a long time into something awesome. I could probably sing a little each day and maybe someday I'll actually sound really good. That would be nice. The only dating advice book I've found that I felt comfortable reading was one written from a Christian perspective. That makes sense. Maybe there are more in this genre. There isn't a good time to listen to it other than going for walks so maybe that'll happen more often. My clients are busy with other stuff right now so I'm pretty much just reading and hanging out at home on a Tuesday. It's nice to get this sort of unpaid vacation. But it would be nicer if it were paid, haha. I'm hoping to pay off my student debt within a few years or less and increase my income by then. I wonder if I'll be able to retire by the age of sixty. I'd have to be really good at living below my means and somehow find something safe to invest money in. I'll ask my parents about it, they recommended doing a 401k I think. I'm doing cardio on an elliptical that my mom got from a friend. It kinda hurts my back to use it, but I'm hoping that'll not be an issue and I'll be able to keep using it to greater degrees. I really like the feeling I get from doing over twenty minutes of cardio. It's downright wonderful to watch anime on my phone while running on the elliptical. Life feels kind of still. Like there isn't a lot happening and no crisis aside from the CV. Everything is becoming very routine and ordinary. Nothing new, but I have lots of little good things that I get to do each day. It's kind of hygge if I think about it. I hope that everyone's safe. That we will all get through the CV pandemic game free and healthy. Thank you all for communicating with me as we help each other through this time. I smiled at the nice trees outside as I thought about taking a walk. I accomplished getting out of bed 15 minutes earlier than usual. Yeah. I am grateful for Chinese decorations, culture, my culture, picture frames, glass tables, little chairs, knobs, my elliptical, hardwood floors and DVD players. God bless Erik
  21. @BooksandTrees I support your engaging and think you’re doing well. Let’s all Do some push ups. Day 117 NF 86 Np 71 Med 57 Positive post: Man I was feeling like kinda down because I didn’t get to go to the gym and don’t see my clients. I felt so socially isolated and it was demotivating. But then I got in a great workout and felt so much better. I still feel calm and at peace from the yoga. Increasing my bench made me so happy. Every time I move up on an exercise it’s super motivating and awesome. I feel like good things are happening in my life. My cardio weights and yoga practice are all improving. I’m getting through an awesome show on Netflix called Evangelion. I identify so much with the main character. How he just does what people tell him to try to make his life easier. I just don’t know what to do when people order me around sometimes and I just listen to advice that is sometimes wrong for me. I feel like I’m starting to be able to have my own opinion on things. Ironically staying in all the time is forcing me to develop my relationship with my mom. In doing so I feel like I’m becoming more prepared to be in a relationship with other people. I’m also reading some books on dating that I hope will help. I don’t feel ready to try apps again just yet. But maybe once I finish my books and feel like I’m ready to try I might. Otherwise there’s always approaching girls at Starbucks once the corona has lifted. I hope everyone’s having a good day. I smiled at increasing my bench 5lbs it adds up. I accomplished work, exercise, eating healthy. I am grateful for gamequitters, @Cam Adair, @BooksandTrees, @Laurie, everyone on gq, blankets, recliners, couches, long sleeve t shirts, and crunches. God bless Erik
  22. May we see one of your drawings? I try to draw anime sometimes, but I'm not skilled yet. I wonder if there's somewhere with really good tutorials on it. I can still do like 20 push ups even if all I do is bench for my chest. The strength sort of transfers. Sounds like you might be out repping me soon anyways. Good job continuing to post and do your thing.
  23. Hey, it sounds like you've come a long way in the past ten years. I wish I had girls around who wanted to date me. Well there might be my one friend, but they live in Dubai so forget about it. I'm happy for you. I'm sure your life will continue to get better and better as you go. I think you might have type A personality like I do. People with this type tend to not find joy in the process of things. We will be so focused on results and trying to get as much done in one session as possible that we don't enjoy the journey. I encourage you to take a deep breath and try to enjoy what you're doing a bit. I think people who are type A just have naturally weak 'enjoy the process' muscles. So we need to practice enjoying as a learned skill. With some effort over time I think learning to enjoy whatever you're doing can happen.
  24. Day 116 NF 85 Np 70 Med 56 Positive post: I've been going for walks and watching movies with my mom regularly. Thank God for her. I'd be lost and all messed up if I didn't have my mom. I'm pretty sure I'd be a lot worse off. It's been nice spending time together. It's almost like I'm on a staycation with her. Just hanging out together at home. It's been three days since we started self-quarantine. I don't know how long the quarantines and CV are going to continue. I don't know what to do other than to just chill as much as possible. That's all we can do really. Just chill. Keep calm and carry on. I hope it doesn't last too long. Maybe 1-3 months before we're cleared to go back outside. We watch rom com's and an action movie today. Polar on Netflix is totally gory jeez. Still a decent flick though. I hiked about 5 miles yesterday. It was cool. My workouts at home have been going pretty well. My bench is up to 155 lbs. For some reason my deadlift is a lot weaker at home than it was at the gym. It's gone down from 185 to 155. I honestly don't mind that much about the body fat or how much weight I can lift. I'm just grateful that I'm in decent shape and I am able bodied to exercise. It's a blessing to be able to exercise. I'm lucky to not be over weight too. I've been thinking about getting on Bumble or some other dating app. I don't last on them more than a few months before I get burned out. So I figure if I went back I'd do one month then take a month off and cycle. Dating is so fatiguing. I hope I find someone though. I really do. I smiled at my mom and some dating book. I accomplished setting up an appointment with a client and running 20 mins cardio. I am grateful for my mom, god, family, my home, food, water, electricity, typing skills, coasters and lights. God bless Erik
  25. Happy birthday. I'm glad you're having a nice day.
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