Troll Warlord

They all are wondering why im still here, everyone went to US for masters, even my brother is going and I lose all hair and job and nothing, they all are just stupid but still lucky, tomorrow before I wake up meteorite the size of sun should split earth in half, but maybe space people would know if a meteorite comes but I hope it comes at the speed of light and ends this joke of a animal called human. Gas cloud should cover the entire earth and everyone suffocate in black darkness, atleast a plane should crash into some building at take some lucky lives out, because god made some like me sacrifice, but I guess the best way to end would be for me to end that way everyting ends with me, this world is my perception, I see red but I could see as green but I cant

I am trying to get something I could never get and leaving what I already have which I think is bad. I try so hard but ants might think I could never kill them why is the idiot human trying. I keep baiting them with (borax+sugar), maybe the sin of killing entire colonies of ants is causing all this. Cat ran away from me and dog barks at me which is bad day. If all the work was meaningless then why did god make others better. I left all the meeting and stayed silent as usual, people stopped trying to help me. I think I can curse others but not sure whether it works. Usually if I feel pain after the curse then I think the curse worked. I never see the person I cursed twice so it should be working. I could never be like them and they all just reject me for what. Stupid interns also are just so basic cant believe they got hired but they were made tall and lots of hair by god but took everything from me. Why should I take blame for all, somewhere there should be a god on my side too continue to help me bring doom to everyone.

Hi thanks Pochatok

Oh thanks, all the best for your goals!

which game

I tried fighting resistance, ended up with even worse experiences which will haunt me forever. Ill just play video games and see how far I can go and read others journals here and imagine It is me. Im at 75kg back again and will go back to 80kg, ruining all the progress. Ill retry again next winter

Managed to reach 72kg, need to make it to 65kg before I go bald

There is also character ai, which lets you talk to virtual girfriends and anime characters if you didnt already know Gpt for productive use cases

Ive had my dose of gaming today, played all day from morning. Ill attempt to fight resistance tomorrow once again. The human animal is supposed to be a pinnacle of survival after all, even If I fail I hope my unconsicous physical body will back me up. @Pochatok Thanks for replying, I want to be a macho-infused toxic man though, might not be possible this life but atleast I want to make god think I deserve to be next life @Dark That's great I think spartan way of life is what I truly want https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUzhJvlELU4

Looks like you are killing it

@Dark was he also short by any chance? Ive gone back to old ways eating lot, gaming and not working out 73.5 kg, I havent jerked off for a few days not because I am avoiding but because I dont feel like (gg). If I go back to 80kg from here I may never try again. And social anxiety is through the roof. I remember this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4F8kj0TYHs. Maybe if I was brought up like a spartan I woudnt be this hopeless.

I gave up and played video games due to resistance, need to make it to 65kg to have a chance against it. God made me weak to be a sparring bot for the taller and smarter people, but I refuse it, Ill ruin gods plan. You might think I am stupid and @Pochatok can call me a self shaming loser; its okay laugh how much ever you want, remember there is an idiot named "sniper" in gamequitters forum and you are not as bad as him whenever you face any struggle

Yes

Cant believe it as i post the comnent the resistance has begun, the world fears what I could be so much

Day 7: Did not play video games Managed to get 10k steps 73kg Over ate today I realize "failure is an option quitting isnt" so ill just do what makes me scared and fail, easy to say but I mostly might fail to fail @Pochatok sorry for making a stupid response above ill try learning those concepts I dread tomorrow I realize im an isolated human who fell behind and doesnt understand what he is doing Lets see how much resistance I face from the hivemind tomorrow Will checkin in 24hrs if im still alive

@Pochatok thanks for replying. I am only stating the facts, there is nothing wrong in what I wrote. I wont lie to myself. Day 6: Did not play video games Managed to get 10k steps Reached 73kg Started watching "Descendants of the Sun" show about army and realized how glutton I am compared to a soldier, will change myself Goals: Make it to 65kg Learn how to study again

Nice!

I had the opposite experience with trainers and switched to youtube completely (jeremy ethier is my favourite) but great its working for you!

Day 5: Did not play video games Got treated like shit at work, but suprisingly it made me more angry instead of hurt because im too busy working on myself Managed to get 10k steps Weight was 73.3kg today I remembered a lesson I learnt in dota, do not react when you are in a position of weakness, wait for the right time and then comeback

Oh and please dont show the content approval warning it hurts me, Im just a nice hopeless person dont be so harsh website

I realize the answer to my question is to have friends, maybe I should try to make friends. Im just lazy with huge ego that is the answer, oh I remember this video its hilarious (related to linus torvals creator of linux) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccWsHhHYJlMI realize you say stuff like this to friends but I am just saying it here, hope someone will read these, thanks

Day4: Did not play video games, did jerk off yesterday and probably will tonight as well Need to make it to 70kg, hard stuck in 73.5-74.5 kg due to poor diet control. Managed to get 10k steps Improvements: * Doing strength training helps me keep atleast double digit T level which is great! * My day usually revolves around me planning to play and playing dota 2, but since that is not there, day feels more linear Goals: * Reach 65kg * Learn to drive car * Dont care about being perfect Story from sad past: There was this girl at work who pinged me for some help with a tool, we did a zoom call even though both were in office, for all my shortcoming I still have a convincing voice, she asked in the end of the call if I was in office and I said yes She came up to my desk and when she saw me she was immediately dissapointed i could tell probably because I look like the guy in my profile photo, my work photo is from 5.5 years old when I was in first year college at 60KG, she just said some generic stuff and left and I saw she went to a group of taller guys and started laughing. Stupid noob bitch. Rambling: Whenever I see people taller than me and looking straight ahead, I imagine they are mocking me for being short. My prefontal cortex knows better than this but rest of my brain is convinced I am a loser and should be a servant to taller people. Also I find it hard to sleep at night without jerking off, usually until 1am I am watching some cooking video (obviously I am a beta male so I watch cooking videos) I cut my beard and look like shit yet again Question: Whenever I try to something like read a book or learn something (do something productive), I imagine taller people looking at me with contempt for trying to be better and laughing at me and just lose interest, how to avoid that?

You are definitely a good writer and hence good in art as well. Sometimes even I stay quiet when someone explains something I already know because if I interrupt it would become weird and the person might not help in future when I need it.

Day3: Did not play video games, also havent jerked off for 3 days. Mind is becoming normal again. I realize that playing so much video games in toxic communities has skewed my perception of the world, I treat everyone as hostile and now I think I might have pushed away people who tried to help me in past. Usual routine of gym and work.

I assumed it like I assume the world is out to get me, I should stop doing that.