Ikar

22nd December - 2nd January: I worked on the thesis over Christmas as well. It's mostly formal stuff now: citations and formatting. Even then, it's been taking a surprising amount of time. I have nearly one hundred pictures in the thesis, which means I have to write a description for all of them and quote the source. Sometimes I need to go back to the original document if the graph/picture is not 100% understandable or complete on its own. Suddenly, 100x3mins=5 hours of work 😄 I also cleared out my mailboxes. I'm at an effective 0 of unread mails. I got the questionnaire out for my students. I attended a high-school reunion. I had a surprisingly good time. We usually have two of these each year, so I'll see about the summer one. I spent some time with my family and friends. I had some good social meetings and I enjoyed all of them.

I'm going to do a recap of my year 2023. I even encouraged my ToastMasters group to do the same at our last meeting this year, as I think it's valuable to just sit down, reflect and think constructively for a while. It'll be something similar to what I've done here: The first thing that comes to my mind is traveling. I really traveled a lot. I visited Finland, Poland and Georgia. The most interesting trip was definitely to Georgia and I'm happy I was there with my girlfriend as well. That leads me to my girlfriend. She's been very kind to me the whole year and I'm grateful to be with her. It's not that she doesn't have any problems at all, but I really think we complement each other well. We're gonna live together from April 2024 and I'm looking forward to it. My place of living has also already changed. I left the dormitory life behind me and moved to a shared flat. Truth to be told, it was mentally tiring to constantly be around students, granted I've been working for the last three years, and even a few years before that. My mentality is just too different from theirs now. Speaking of studying, I hopefully have just about a month of my studies ahead of me. My reading habit morphed into reading studies for my thesis and I'll pick up on reading books once I'm done with the university. I've been working on the thesis the whole August, part of September, whole November and whole December. At the moment, I'm cleaning up the thesis for the last few days. I'm going to study for the finals after submitting it. That'll make me the last member of my core family to get their master's degree. I think I've actually done well as far as my familial relationships go this year, especially making my grandma happy, though the kitchen project is still there. As for work, I've done many activities as well, such as setting up tracking systems to monitor my work (tables), providing my students added value in the form of shared documents or setting up a biannual feedback questionnaire for my students, attending business mentoring, networking... This new year, I'd like to focus more on being a good teacher than a good businessman. Therefore, the plan for the next year is to improve my professional qualification by getting a Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA) certificate. I want to improve my knowledge and improve the retention of my students. Perhaps the situation seemed better in April or May (as seen in the graph in the post above), when I recorded the biggest amount of private lessons I've ever taught. The beautiful thing that I however realized is that while my income is significantly lower (less lessons and full set of taxes apply to me now), I'm OK and I don't worry. I've build up a significant reserve over the past three years, that could easily satisfy enough three without me moving a finger. Maybe five if I lived like a cheapskate. I think working less actually helped me to have a better life balance, to have more time for my other hobbies, to spend more time with my girlfriend, to move more and even to allow more time to spend the money on myself. I really haggle about prices just for the fun of it now. Okay, I've bragged about my work enough. Time to check the goals for 2023 and set some for 2024. --- Evaluation of goals for 2023: Yes, that went as expected. I definitely cut the amount of lessons for language schools. I improved my business and took some new opportunities. Yes! 😄 I haven't had a long stretch of no porn as I did the last year (August - December 22), though I don't think I've been watching it too much overall. I have a good feeling that it will completely go away once I'm with my girlfriend in the flat. Normal news webpages are not a problem anymore, I just satisfy myself with "Current Events" on Wikipedia for a few minutes a day. I don't know how long I've been doing it (again), maybe just for a month, but it's especially helpful on the weekends when I want to start early, as during the week I usually start the morning with my students. I pretty much do all of that. I did good work 😄 --- Main must-have plans for 2024: Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course. Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this. Move in with my girlfriend in April. Set up the new kitchen for my grandma. Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024: Re-start my financial blog in February. Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard. Habits: Stop watching porn (again). Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room. Establish flossing at least once a week. Exercise regularly. Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance. It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

Yesterday I used my inter-dental toothbrush for the first time in a few months.

Amazing, great work! You did a great job visualizing and analyzing the past three months. I believe it was very useful for you and it was an interesting read for me too. I can say I love analyzing stuff too, so that's why I write a bigger report every month. At the same time, I also create about five smaller posts a month whenever something is on my mind. I believe it is like therapy. Then again, to get into deeper and more complex ideas, I can't just talk it over with somebody, I need to write it out and think about it.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 22/11/23 - 21/12/23 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- set smart/stretch goals - read book again Books/Reading articles: L: Still on the business book, although I've been prioritizing other projects, so I didn't spend much time on it. T: Same. I also unsubbed from a lot of email newsletters several weeks ago, so I get very little nowadays. Possible direction/goals: (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report. Family: L: Took my grandma and my mom to visit my grandma's sister family. The visit was OK. Went for a lunch with my father. Otherwise nothing new. T: I went to a hockey match with my mom. I also visited the graveyard with my family to commemorate dead family members. NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family. University: L: Got the outline pretty much done. I'm currently on roughly 18 thousand words, so I won't have troubles with the word count. I have until 9th January to submit it, meaning about 45 days. I'm confident that if I put 2-3 hours in every day, it'll be done, although it's hard to anticipate how much work it will take to finish the theoretical and empirical parts. I'm actually surprised by the fact that I have a lot of it done, even though I had week-long breaks in the past. My plan is to work on it every day, do at least a little bit every day, no matter how small. I shouldn't have any days away from now on, so it's doable. T: I ranted about the thesis a little bit in my post above, but if I really had to submit it in 24 hours, I could. I just want it to be cohesive and well-written and that takes time. I've been working on it anywhere between 2-5 hours daily, sometimes I threw in an afternoon session too. Some 17 days are left to submit it. NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university. Possible direction/goals: Do the main part of my diploma in summer/autumn 2023 and do the defense and finals in January/February 2024. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Business/English: L: I had a consultation with a girl who wants to teach informally in her company; a shared acquaintance told her to visit me to ask how to best do it. I haven't been feeling the best in the last few networking events. I'm not sure if there are any relevant ones for me before the year ends, but that's OK. I also lost a few courses over the past months, though again, I'm not too worried about it. I'm still making enough money to save some and I can use the time for my university studies or spend it with my girlfriend. Besides, I got two new students in the last three weeks 🙂 T: I will have two new courses in January and one new in February, all of them my own (A). I went back to my reports, pulled the numbers that I write every month and construed a graph for the year. I've had less hours since July, though at the same time the share of my own students went up. The last quarter of the year wasn't as successful for me, though March-June were especially strong. T he new students in January/February should bring the hours up as well as A share above 60%. I'll use this in my all-year report for sure! An example for 18 hours the last week (12 - December): Category A 54% (53); B 8% (4); C 0% (5); D 5% (5); E 33% (33). Brackets are % values from previous month. - I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses: a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group) c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day) d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality - NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Possible direction/goals: With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly. Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. Create a learning plan for myself. Go through "lecturer academy" materials. Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them: Networking and business events. Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan. Check out business vouchers for equipment. Past projects: Questionnaire. Fixed logos on my website for better visuals. Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August). Got minor pay raises from language schools. Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required. Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar. Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls". Lecturer academy. Sample business contract on my website. Google sheets system for students. Exercise/Movement: L: Cycling and walking still, though I prefer walks due to the weather. Had two hikes too. T: Nothing special, though a lot of walks. NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals: I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change. Keep in shape. Blogging: L: I haven't had time to even think about blogging with everything that was going on, although I do have a half-way written article in the works that I could publish soon. T: On hold until I finish the uni thesis. Possible direction/goals: Find a suitable UI/web template. Set up emailing for subs. Post two articles a month. Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones. Finish articles in concepts. --- What to do if I am bored? Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging, diploma thesis --- Additional thoughts/activities: My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography. This month, I did these cool activities: spending time on the GQ forum, table football tournament (another!), attended a Toastmasters meeting, went to the sauna, played billiard, visited another city for a day trip, watched hockey with mom, . --- Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2023: Pass all the exams at the uni, finish the thesis and finish all university duties successfully in January/February 2024. - WIP, progress = yes Improve my business, so that I don't need to teach for language schools anymore, by getting more private contacts, opportunities and students. - WIP, progress = yes Go to Georgia to visit my friend. - Unfortunately, the plan didn't work out. I plan to go there later this year, either in late summer or autumn. We did it! 🙂 Stop watching porn (again), stop reading too much news (again). - Got some blocks going on. The past week was clean! Start getting up when my alarm rings. Put my alarm across the room. - I got better, not 100%, but better. Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, studying for uni, working on good life/work balance. It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

16th December - 21st December: My girlfriend and I went for a day trip to another city, together with her cousin and her husband. It was nice to visit some other place after a while. Watched "American Gangster" and had good fun with the movie. I cleaned and reorganized stuff in my room this week as well. Participated in the table football tournament and came up fifth, which is a success, as my regular teammate/friend was sick and another friend subbed for him. My thesis has been going on as usual. It's been going on since August and I'm kinda getting tired of it, which is normal I guess. I've been sending my tutor weekly updates for the last three months, though he hasn't given me much feedback ever since we agreed on the topic. I send him a message yesterday and he wrote he'll look at it over the week. I kinda hope he'll have just a few small things, as I have only a bit over two weeks to do something about it, while brushing up the rest of the text.

Any reason why? Is it his idea? A lot is at stake here, having an acceptable commute is a must. That's also in the mix. I watched a video on YT on that a few months ago, but I know you don't watch YT anymore. Maybe Books will watch it at least 😄

10th December - 15th December: I've been working on the data for the last week and I think I am gonna finish this part at the weekend. That's good news, as I thought I'd be working on it for the whole next week. Now I have two weeks to polish my thesis, with one week in January to print it and hand it in. Took my family to the graveyard at the weekend to commemorate my grandpa and my mom's relatives.I attended the speaking event on Wednesday. It was good fun as usual. I think I'm good at improvising and thinking in the moment, but I'm bad at speaking with preparation. Got my bike back from service. Other than that, I spend time with my girlfriend as usual. A common friend came to visit us too 🙂

I mean, the idea that this forum is not called "Game Moderators" but "Game Quitters" makes me think that we have to quit to make a meaningful difference. Maybe not forever, but it's often much easier to dispense with the whole thing than to try and balance it. Gaming is not a physiological need. Part of why I got into gaming was because it was so immersive, so it wouldn't make sense for me to restrict myself to certain times either. Some people can game healthily naturally, and good for them. I knew I couldn't and that the negatives outweighed the benefits. Welcome back!

I'm ashamed to (not) give compliments to others. I'm afraid of being judged by others, in case they overhear it, but also that it comes out as creepy towards the recipient. For example, telling an acquaintance that she is smart, looks good etc. I'm very bad at complimenting myself too, as I think there's nothing praiseworthy for following and executing a plan well.

4th December - 9th December: Still writing. I think I'm making good progress, so I don't have worries about not completing by the end of the year. I also went to the sauna with my girlfriend and another friend and played billiard yesterday. My sleep has been better the last few days, I swapped the mattress I slept on. I think I sometimes get headaches because I don't drink enough before I go to sleep. It's very annoying, as then it lasts the whole next day, so I need to watch that.

Here:

I've been thinking about this paragraph for a while. One thing that came to my mind was to use the existing framework to get the closest to the point where you want to be. In other words, not everything is horrible and the parts that are good can help you and be to your advantage. The framework can be quite rigid, but it can still support you and help you. Over time, you'll get enough freedom to make your own decisions more and more. That freedom comes with time and dedication, some would maybe say discipline. I'm self-employed myself, so I understand your vision to do things your way in animation and writing, though I am quite on the "safe" side as an English teacher. The objective is the same though: give people what they (and you too!) want and have a good life as a result. I hope what I wrote makes sense 😄

I've been having some odd sleep in the last few days. I woke up early and couldn't fall asleep again. I haven't felt tired during the day yet, so it might really be that I sleep too much. It's just that mentally, it feels odd lying awake in bed for an hour or two, trying to sleep, and then still getting up early.

That's awesome! I think it's important to make sure to live within one's means. I also have a job that allows me to work more/less, so tracking money helps me feel confident in adjusting my workload. If you want a recommendation for an app, I've been using Wallet for years now. I started with the free version, but it has a limit of 3 money accounts, so I got lifetime premium for 30€ back in April. Premium also has automatic tracking (bank account synced with the app), but I still put in data from CSV files from my online banking, because I want to do a monthly evaluation anyway: https://budgetbakers.com/how-to-start/#first_day

28th November - 3rd December: Worked on the thesis as usual, although I stepped up the effort to 3 hours on Friday, 4 yesterday and 5 today. I'm confident I'll have everything done on time, though I need to start on the data selection and analysis Otherwise I spent time with my girlfriend, friend and attended Toastmasters again 🙂

Told my girlfriend more details about my porn problem. I explained to her how it affects me, her and our relationship.

"Everything feels like work." reminded me of @BooksandTrees and his journal. He solved something similar and I think it's even the exact phrase. My opinion: I guess the mental signal you're getting is to live a little. Life isn't only about ticking off chores and improving habits. It's not a carte blanche to stop trying and to do stupid shit, but probably a sign to slow down. I sometimes have it too, so I just sit with myself a while and reflect on the successes I've had in the last months/years and really feel them through and appreciate them. Burnout is no good.

I guess a lot of it depends on how you frame it. From the way I read it, I'd say you are goal oriented and progress from one thing to the next. That's not a bad thing. My idea after quitting games was to branch out into multiple important areas of my life and work on them consistently and with passion. Yes, sometimes I can get super passionate about a certain subject for a few months, but then it eventually passes. I haven't had my extreme highs and lows since I quit gaming, but I think the tradeoff for stability and sustainability is worth it.

Wait, am I reading it right? Are you going to be a father soon? If so, awesome! Congratulations! 😄

22nd November - 27th November: I've been working on the thesis every day since I wrote my last post, usually for two hours daily. I might step it up a little, but so far I haven't felt the need. I believe I'll have the theoretical part of it done in about a week, leaving my hands free for the practical part in December. I went to watch a hockey match with my mum yesterday. I haven't been doing anything special otherwise. There are many things I don't have time for, but I have to prioritize. No other way around it.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 25/10/23 - 22/11/23 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- set smart/stretch goals - read book again Books/Reading articles: L: Finished "World Order" and started reading the book about freelancing I mentioned. It's not in English, so that's why it's nameless 🙂 T: Still on the business book, although I've been prioritizing other projects, so I didn't spend much time on it. Possible direction/goals: Continue getting through the newsletters. (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report. Family: L: The kitchen plan ran into (another) problem. The working desk is a few centimeters shorter than needed, due to the fact there are unmovable drain pipes near the wall. The best solution, according to my father (and I share it), is to get a wider working desk, rather than to cut the cupboards to let the pipes through them. I met my mom for lunch about a month ago. Other than that, there's nothing special happening, except the fact that I'm going to visit my family/grandma every week until my grandma's kitchen is reconstructed. I got a new phone for my grandma, as her old one broke down. I also went for sushi with my brother (and my girlfriend), as well as for lunch with my father. I also visited my family four weekends in a row. And I can say I still don't give a flying fuck about the reconstruction of the kitchen. I'm 100% ready to give somebody the money to make this problem go away. I've tried it twice or thrice. Nothing came out of it. I'm just gonna consult my father on what to do next, as I just can't do this. T: Took my grandma and my mom to visit my grandma's sister family. The visit was OK. Went for a lunch with my father. Otherwise nothing new. NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family. University: L: Currently on 9 thousand words, although I wrote the last of them at the end of August and then I left for my holiday. This week, I resolved the email communication issues and had a consultation with my tutor. He advised me to be more specific with my topic and to send him a short summary at the weekend, so that he can insert the thesis assignment into the system. I think I'm past the negotiation/assignment stage. It feels like I have done nothing, though I put some 20 hours into it in aggregate over the past month. It's not exactly "nothing". The main slowdown was due to the fact my tutor sometimes takes days to reply. That pits me into a stage when I can excuse doing nothing until his next reply, out of fear that I'm gonna work on something that won't be relevant after his reply. Since now the thesis really is in the system, the layout is reworked (again), I'm gonna try to work on it every day from now on and I have already started today. As an interesting university side note, we hosted the first student exchange the last week and we're hosting another this week as well. It'll be the guys from Finland whom we visited in March. T: Got the outline pretty much done. I'm currently on roughly 18 thousand words, so I won't have troubles with the word count. I have until 9th January to submit it, meaning about 45 days. I'm confident that if I put 2-3 hours in every day, it'll be done, although it's hard to anticipate how much work it will take to finish the theoretical and empirical parts. I'm actually surprised by the fact that I have a lot of it done, even though I had week-long breaks in the past. My plan is to work on it every day, do at least a little bit every day, no matter how small. I shouldn't have any days away from now on, so it's doable. NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university. Possible direction/goals: Do the main part of my diploma in summer/autumn 2023 and do the defense and finals in January/February 2024. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Business/English: L: Events have really picked up pace. I had a business presentation for young students and attended a networking event. I started attending an online language lecturer academy and I can say I'm stoked. I got a Google sheets system for students running and I believe it'll improve the quality of my lessons greatly. I'm also booked for three other events in November already. I'm really funneling a lot of time into my professional development ever since I've returned from Georgia and I can say I'm enjoying it. I've been actually working (in the pure sense of lessons taught) a few hours less, but I don't mind. I have the flexibility, which is currently more important for me than pure income. T: I had a consultation with a girl who wants to teach informally in her company; a shared acquaintance told her to visit me to ask how to best do it. I haven't been feeling the best in the last few networking events. I'm not sure if there are any relevant ones for me before the year ends, but that's OK. I also lost a few courses over the past months, though again, I'm not too worried about it. I'm still making enough money to save some and I can use the time for my university studies or spend it with my girlfriend. Besides, I got two new students in the last three weeks 🙂 - An example for 19 hours this week: Category A 53% (64); B 4% (4); C 5% (0); D 5% (6); E 33% (26). Brackets are % values from previous month. - I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses: a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group) c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day) d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality - NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Possible direction/goals: With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly. Keep classes at a stable 25-30 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. Create a learning plan for myself. Go through "lecturer academy" materials. Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them: Networking and business events. Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan. Check out business vouchers for equipment. Past projects: Questionnaire. Fixed logos on my website for better visuals. Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August). Got minor pay raises from language schools. Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required. Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar. Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls". Lecturer academy. Sample business contract on my website. Google sheets system for students. Exercise/Movement: L: Somewhat hampered, because of the issues with my foot the last week, though I can say the amount of activity I get is about the same. I also think I've been ill fairly often these months, which is definitely something I don't like. T: Cycling and walking still, though I prefer walks due to the weather. Had two hikes too. NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals: I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change. Keep in shape. Blogging: L: I haven't had time to even think about blogging with everything that was going on, although I do have a half-way written article in the works that I could publish soon. - T: - Possible direction/goals: Find a suitable UI/web template. Set up emailing for subs. Post two articles a month. Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones. Finish articles in concepts. --- What to do if I am bored? Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging, diploma thesis --- Additional thoughts/activities: My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography. This month, I did these cool activities: spending time on the GQ forum, table football tournament (another!), going for lunch with my father, hosting Finnish students, organizing a team-building event for 30 people with my geographer group, attended a Toastmasters meeting, changed wheels on my car for ones with winter tires, visited the cinema, attended my girlfriend's graduation ceremony, hiked twice. My girlfriend has been stressed by the lack of activity at her new work. She's bored. She wants to do something more active. Judging from the list of activities, I'm nowhere near being bored, though I can/did share only a few of the activities above with her. My plan is to do something active at the weekend to cheer her up. --- Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2023: Pass all the exams at the uni, finish the thesis and finish all university duties successfully in January/February 2024. - WIP, progress = yes Improve my business, so that I don't need to teach for language schools anymore, by getting more private contacts, opportunities and students. - WIP, progress = yes Go to Georgia to visit my friend. - Unfortunately, the plan didn't work out. I plan to go there later this year, either in late summer or autumn. We did it! 🙂 Stop watching porn (again), stop reading too much news (again). - Got some blocks going on. The past week was clean! Start getting up when my alarm rings. - I got better, not 100%, but better. Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, studying for uni, working on good life/work balance. It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

13th November - 21st November: I didn't have much time to work on my thesis the last week, but I anticipated that. The challenge now is to get back into the rhythm of writing, which I've hopefully done today with a few necessary emails regarding the thesis. I have a bit over six weeks to submit it. The main event the last week was organizing a four day trip to a town nearby for about 30 people with a few other people from my geography group. It was quite tiring physically and socially, but I do feel recharged mentally.

I guess the emotion of hate/anger towards "what gaming did to me" is still too strong. It's not obsessing, what you're doing is thinking. Discord is "too fast" of a medium to discuss this, journaling and NA are "slow", so people usually think before they say or write something. I'd argue the guy either doesn't care or doesn't have a gaming problem at all.

It's true that I started going to these sort of events regularly just a few months ago, so the initial thrill probably wore off already. Another issue I see is that there might be some events that are not as interesting for me, but I can't tell before I'm actually there, because I started so recently. Starts are always confusing 😄 I'm normally not a shy person, but I agree completely with you that I might be just putting unneeded pressure on myself to produce "results". These things can take years to materialize into "results". All the while being a freelancer is not only about making the "results", but also having a good feeling in the process - about the job, the people involved, speaking topics and other stuff. But hey, at least I know I'm not OK with focusing only on "results" and treating people only as a means to my ends 😄