Ikar

Day 346: I did Duolingo, got the laundry from my clotheshorse, did some light editing of my website, watched one video about mindset and one about Forex basics, wrote here, took a walk, exercised, put my banner onto the bars of my dorm window and did some chatting on IG/dating apps. I think I get a lot of work done these days, even though I sometimes fall into states of mindless autopilot and catch myself doing something inefficiently later on. I woke up a few times at night the past days too, but I am happy I get my daily tasks done. Work hard and play hard.

Day 345: I visited my grandma and my brother after not seeing them for two weeks. It was good to see both of them again. I had a good chat with my grandma and my brother proofread my website and I considered some of his suggestions. I had a light workout (50 pushups and 50 situps) and I attended a uni webinar.

I actually wrote the outline for this reply some 10 hours ago, but I wanted some more input before writing more. I think Glover put it wonderfully by writing something in the lines of this: "A woman needs to know that you are willing to stand up AGAINST her, so that there is at least a chance that you might stand up FOR her in the future." Glad to hear all is good in the hood now 🙂

I wonder if you could correlate that with the success of the members' individual detoxes 😄 Blaming and excuses never get us anywhere.

Day 344: Maintenance day. I did Duolingo, finished "The Red and the Black", cooked a chicken, went for a walk, set up whatever few events for the next week, washed the dishes, cleaned my room, exercised and did the laundry. "The Red and the Black" is an interesting and instructive book. There's ambition, love and psychological warfare.

Hold the line and try to relax. If she wants to be pissed off because she broke a promise, let her. If you back down and she finds out she can push you around (in more serious matters than borrowing a bike), she'll lose respect for you. I've been there and done that. I even witnessed one such fight in the past several days. It's about the principle. I wouldn't expect that the first thing she does when exiting the "psychological warfare" mode is going to be an apology, but you know her better than I do. A funny piece of trivia is that the divorce rate in China spiked after the quarantines ended, because people found out they can't be in one place for extended periods of time. It's impossible to "be together" and "do something together" for days on end without a break. This situation is perfect for determining whether your house rules are in order or not.

It depends on each person's individual risk management and circumstances. Getting out there for those two days was both objectively useful and subjectively fun. I obey the law as it is currently in effect (i.e. I do not throw underground parties), so I meet with smaller groups of people and less often than before. One thing I keep in mind is that most of us are probably going to get it, even if in a way that our immune system handles it no problem. We're going to be fine 🙂

Day 342: I did a bit of Forex, read, did Duolingo and then cycled to my friend who lives some 15 kilometers away. We mostly chilled, talked to each other and took a walk in the forest. I was a bit peeved, because he spent a lot of time on his phone chatting with his girlfriend, but he noticed that and he told me that I have a bad luck of coming to visit him when he's having more a intense period (pun intended) with her. He seems to be stalwart and knowing what he's doing though. We agreed that there needs to be a degree of discipline in relationships that needs to be upheld. I think things would've gone very differently for me if I knew that two years ago. Day 343: I slept over at my friend's. Afterwards, he drove me to pick up my car from the paint shop. It definitely looks better now. I then helped my dad to bring a new TV to my parents' house. Afterwards, I drove to pick up my business cards, banners and then drove to my parents' to visit them after two weeks. It was nice to see them again. I also managed to sell my old bike today. I got home in the evening, had a webinar about geographic information systems and I just chilled for the rest of the day.

Great! I got myself to ejaculate weekly. It also helps that you'll re-adjust to normal-world women around you as porn fades away from your mind. I'd say just do it. I don't even know how would I "practice" writing myself. I just write and if somebody doesn't like it, I'm happy my writing caught their attention for a while. At the moment, I probably write on the GQ forums the most.

I found out that after a week of initial re-adjustment in the quarantine, it helped me to get up at 6:30 with no issues, perhaps because I hardly have any meetings in the evening nowadays. The current situation is actually pretty good in forging new habits and detecting disfunctional ones.

I agree 100% with @BooksandTrees. I always like the positive/poetic/surreal tone of your messages. I hope you will be able to turn this grave diagnosis into another source of energy and motivation to continue making improvements in your life. We have to hope that this disease in your physical body is just a delayed reminder that your previous lifestyle caused you a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. Keep up the fight.

These days I watch about three episodes of The Expanse a day which is two hours, but I also generally eat during that time. I'm quite happy about my general routine of getting up early (6:30), eating, writing here, Duolingo, perhaps reading a book, overall doing something easy and manageable. At around 10 I can mobilize and get out for a walk/workout and start taking on serious business after noon. I feel I wouldn't be motivated to even get out of bed, if I put in the biggest and most important (most difficult) task of the day right in my face after having breakfast. I found out that I am completely fine working out on my own, my daily rhythm is actually based around it at this point, so if somebody wanted to join me, they would need to be OK with my time-frame of going there before lunch. I think most of the times, I am in the dormitory gym alone.

Day 340: I wrote here, did research into Forex, worked out, took a walk, did Duolingo, read and went to play a board game and have a couple of beers with a few others. I did my homework for the next morning, so I would get up fine. Day 341: I got up later than usual, but I got up at a reasonable hour. I took a walk, did a bit of meditation, worked out, read, worked on my blog and did a bit of Forex. I do feel a bit tired now, but I had a lot of heat the past three days. --- As @James Good pointed out in his VLOG, I also have a hard time working out in my room, but I worked out the past four days regardless, even if all those workouts are shorter than my normal ones at a gym. It works out fine for me to return warmed up from a walk and then work out shortly after. Survive and adapt.

I'm of the opinion that a woman I want to be with needs to be inspirational/have a talent, because I believe I am inspirational/have a talent. It's quite a feat figuring out for myself what do I find inspirational though. Some degree of physical beauty is obvious. Connecting through hobbies is also obvious. But it can be something completely different and leave me stunned for a while. I'm not sure how do you see it as a woman, but I wonder if this is applicable universally. What I realized about dating is that there is always the right person for me, so the question is whether I am getting into the right places at the right time. It doesn't matter whether I am introverted, addicted, manic or whether I see the same 30 people every week or 300. I think the most important thing is to know what my options are and whether I am happy with them. The webinar about social media I saw yesterday, even if it was for the big influencers (with thousands of followers), was interesting and applicable even for "normal people", so I took some notes. I believe dating apps are social media too. I currently operate on a few for a week and I got a few matches, but no conversations. I think I need to re-adjust, so any advice is welcome, at least until this quarantine thing is over, so I can go out normally. I think dating apps are going to become redundant for me after that point, simply because I think the more organic connections created that way are better. I think of my profile as business cards I throw into a crowd of (single?) women. By that point, I do not worry about it anymore. I tried to make it look as good as I could and I got my profile out there. It beats having nothing at least and if nobody's interested, the chances are it's because my business card is shitty (so I have shitty marketing), rather than being a shitty person. When creating my first profiles back in 2017, I literally had troubles finding enough photos with my face, let alone some of them that were at least remotely recent. Currently, all of my photos (10) are taken less than a year ago. I think all of them describe what I do/my identity as well, but I suspect they are all too "rational/factual" and don't pack too much "inspirational/emotional/story" punch. I'm more than happy to share them and discuss this via PM, if anyone's interested. I also think that any dating app is as good as any, as long as you are not running out of people on it, though I agree the demographic will vary. There are specific categories of people, like anime fans, gamers or nature fans. I think there's even a dating app specifically for Christians. The last thing I heard on the webinar yesterday was the difference between the "hunter" and the "fisher" on social media; I wonder if @James Good is familiar with this. "Hunters" actively contact people and try to initiate the conversation. "Fishers" sit there and have people contact them. The guy with thousands of followers on FB can still send a few requests, but mostly people want to contact him by that point. Transposing this to dating apps, I think that is the reason why one study showed that 85% of men get hardly any swipes, whereas the 15% get almost all of them. So once a man is desired by women on dating apps, he is desired hard. Having all this written down, I suppose it's time to get out and try to shoot a few photos of myself 😄

Day 339: I read the book, took a walk, had a short workout, worked with my team-leader on Forex and saw a webinar on social media in the evening. I have to say that yesterday and today, I was full of energy. It could be just that I found meaningful stuff to replace the meaningful stuff I would normally do.

Haha, I started going outside, because the gym on the dorms closed. I think on Sunday I walked too fast, chilled outside for too long and I sneezed a few times the days after. It makes me think what is the true killer in this scenario 🙂

I feel the same. I used to listen to indie rock before I quit gaming. Nowadays my choice is hard rock and I even like rocking to Rammstein and I think not only because I am learning German on Duolingo. The energy shift is obvious. I was going out quite regularly and I can say that after a week without any regular interaction with women, my drive is quite great. I just want to do something in general. Anything. In the past few days, I started funneling time into learning trading currencies on Forex and getting myself back on the dating apps/sites. I figured it is one of the few ways to meet new women and if not "meet" in person, then at least to set up for it once the quarantine is lifted and we'll be able to go out again normally. That written, I remember you stating somewhere you were quite expert at creating good dating profiles. Would you kindly share your secrets in one of your upcoming videos regarding this topic? 😄

From what I was currently able to gather, it is about trading currencies online. I figured I might start learning something new, given this quarantine will be in effect for at least another month. Not really, it would actually be kind of cool to go on a date in a ghost town 😄

Day 338: I spent most of my day researching into Forex and dating apps/sites. I went for a walk. I also had a workout with 50 pushups, 50 squats and 50 sit-ups. I got fed up, because my back started to hurt, as I have to spend more time sitting. I'm happy I have something to keep my mind busy.

I served as a student and then I dropped out and became a radio operator. It showed me that nothing good comes without putting in the work. I was obedient for the most part, but I wasn't disciplined and that showed when I quit. I think I talked to people more compared to when I was at high school though; after all, I managed to get into my first relationship during that time.

Day 336: I read, did Duo, went for a walk, worked on my blog and went to play board-games way into the night. I gotta call it earlier the next time. Day 337: I did Duo, went for a walk and worked on my blog. I also did research into Forex. --- The past week feels like a blur. Not being able to go out regularly (and to the gym) as planned affected my ability to work during the morning and afternoon. I'm adjusting slowly and I got the website done though. It's okay. I also notice the difference between being able to socialize in person X using the Internet chats and dating apps. It is a LANDSLIDE. I have a feeling I am just going to hug the shit out of everyone once this quarantine is over.

I am of the opinion that father's role in the family is to provide more of the "cold love" (discipline, direction guidance, responsibility) and mom's role is to provide more of the "warm love" (hugs and emotional connection) for their kids. I'm not dogmatic, but I think it works that way in the typical family. The typical family is also primarily thought of being a father, a mother and their kids. I also think it is correct to say fathers genuinely have less time/more obstacles in spending time with their kids than moms due to work and other activities. The issue with that is the typical child in today's age, unless they have a caring father that can be there for them every day, has no good masculine model. Primary and secondary schools? Most of the teachers are women. Parents are divorced? Likely spending more time with mom than with dad. I also like the idea my friend presented that lives of males tend to be more extreme. Most of the famous world-leading personalities are men. Most of the homeless people are men too. I also think it also partly explains why most gaming addicts are males as @James Good pointed out once on a podcast. When I set out to do something, I absolutely love it when I can give it my 150%. Gaming/streaming did that for me. Hunt down the mammoth and then rest, as it used to be in the past. --- Above are good statistical arguments for how difficult is it to raise a child (boy) in today's age. I'm gonna present you with some questions now based on how you structured your post. Take time to answer them. Are you sure you prioritize your life correctly, if you are lacking energy at the end of the day as a father? Do you work to help your family? Or do you work to evade your family duties? Do you live to work? Or do you work to live? Do you think raising a child should be easy, or difficult? Are you willing to let go of some materialistic goods to spend more time with your family? --- Some other thoughts; I'm writing them down, because I am writing a blog post on a topic close to this. Gaming addicts tend to not be poor in a way that would threaten their survival. It takes time (and money) to afford the "luxury" of being addicted. It explains why most people on GQ are from the West (USA, UK, Japan, Germany). People in e.g. Chad do not have these issues, because they quite literally cannot afford to have them. Good after-school activities might help. Anything that makes sense is an "uphill struggle". You can worry about your child getting addicted to Internet. Your father could worry about you getting addicted to TV. People in 1800s worried about 50% child mortality rate. The parameters of the games are set, but whether you will or will not have kids is your choice.

I believe that since addictions are unconscious, then they mirror our unconscious needs perfectly. @BooksandTrees , @James Good or I are former ex-streamers. My real-world social interactions sucked, so I started with a blank slate online, posting on various forums and streaming. Gaming is a world within a world and it really was whatever I wanted it to be. It was a bit different for each of us. I think we'll pull through. Gaming is living its golden age now. Before that, it was TV, alcohol or tobacco. Are people wasting their time and money and eventually dying? Yes. Is money being made off of that? Yes. It's always been like that and I think it always will be. I don't think I am being cynical though. I was supposed to be giving a talk in about a month in one community center regarding my gaming addiction (or rather, just talking about my life). I just think that if you "get bludgeoned with the same argument again and again", you're better off finding an audience that might be receptive to the message you are trying to convey. The sad part is that all those parents, teachers and other people with authority likely did not contribute as much as they could to the development of the child (adult), if "some dude on YouTube" has more influence over the child's (adult's) life. The question should be "How can I become a parent my child could look up to and follow as an example?", not "How can I stop my child from being addicted?"

Regarding music, I find it difficult to put some new music tracks as background if I haven't listened to them yet, so I think the point you are making is correct that listening to music can be an activity of its own. I'm also looking forward to seeing you post some made-up joke 😄

The reason I never liked watching series or even YT videos was that it was too passive, compared to gaming or Twitch. The latter two can have a surprising amount of social interaction tied to them. Tied to that, a self-sufficient and relatively famous streamer actually has a life outside of streaming with a healthy social circle around him.