Ikar

I feel the same. I used to listen to indie rock before I quit gaming. Nowadays my choice is hard rock and I even like rocking to Rammstein and I think not only because I am learning German on Duolingo. The energy shift is obvious. I was going out quite regularly and I can say that after a week without any regular interaction with women, my drive is quite great. I just want to do something in general. Anything. In the past few days, I started funneling time into learning trading currencies on Forex and getting myself back on the dating apps/sites. I figured it is one of the few ways to meet new women and if not "meet" in person, then at least to set up for it once the quarantine is lifted and we'll be able to go out again normally. That written, I remember you stating somewhere you were quite expert at creating good dating profiles. Would you kindly share your secrets in one of your upcoming videos regarding this topic? 😄

From what I was currently able to gather, it is about trading currencies online. I figured I might start learning something new, given this quarantine will be in effect for at least another month. Not really, it would actually be kind of cool to go on a date in a ghost town 😄

Day 338: I spent most of my day researching into Forex and dating apps/sites. I went for a walk. I also had a workout with 50 pushups, 50 squats and 50 sit-ups. I got fed up, because my back started to hurt, as I have to spend more time sitting. I'm happy I have something to keep my mind busy.

I served as a student and then I dropped out and became a radio operator. It showed me that nothing good comes without putting in the work. I was obedient for the most part, but I wasn't disciplined and that showed when I quit. I think I talked to people more compared to when I was at high school though; after all, I managed to get into my first relationship during that time.

Day 336: I read, did Duo, went for a walk, worked on my blog and went to play board-games way into the night. I gotta call it earlier the next time. Day 337: I did Duo, went for a walk and worked on my blog. I also did research into Forex. --- The past week feels like a blur. Not being able to go out regularly (and to the gym) as planned affected my ability to work during the morning and afternoon. I'm adjusting slowly and I got the website done though. It's okay. I also notice the difference between being able to socialize in person X using the Internet chats and dating apps. It is a LANDSLIDE. I have a feeling I am just going to hug the shit out of everyone once this quarantine is over.

I am of the opinion that father's role in the family is to provide more of the "cold love" (discipline, direction guidance, responsibility) and mom's role is to provide more of the "warm love" (hugs and emotional connection) for their kids. I'm not dogmatic, but I think it works that way in the typical family. The typical family is also primarily thought of being a father, a mother and their kids. I also think it is correct to say fathers genuinely have less time/more obstacles in spending time with their kids than moms due to work and other activities. The issue with that is the typical child in today's age, unless they have a caring father that can be there for them every day, has no good masculine model. Primary and secondary schools? Most of the teachers are women. Parents are divorced? Likely spending more time with mom than with dad. I also like the idea my friend presented that lives of males tend to be more extreme. Most of the famous world-leading personalities are men. Most of the homeless people are men too. I also think it also partly explains why most gaming addicts are males as @James Good pointed out once on a podcast. When I set out to do something, I absolutely love it when I can give it my 150%. Gaming/streaming did that for me. Hunt down the mammoth and then rest, as it used to be in the past. --- Above are good statistical arguments for how difficult is it to raise a child (boy) in today's age. I'm gonna present you with some questions now based on how you structured your post. Take time to answer them. Are you sure you prioritize your life correctly, if you are lacking energy at the end of the day as a father? Do you work to help your family? Or do you work to evade your family duties? Do you live to work? Or do you work to live? Do you think raising a child should be easy, or difficult? Are you willing to let go of some materialistic goods to spend more time with your family? --- Some other thoughts; I'm writing them down, because I am writing a blog post on a topic close to this. Gaming addicts tend to not be poor in a way that would threaten their survival. It takes time (and money) to afford the "luxury" of being addicted. It explains why most people on GQ are from the West (USA, UK, Japan, Germany). People in e.g. Chad do not have these issues, because they quite literally cannot afford to have them. Good after-school activities might help. Anything that makes sense is an "uphill struggle". You can worry about your child getting addicted to Internet. Your father could worry about you getting addicted to TV. People in 1800s worried about 50% child mortality rate. The parameters of the games are set, but whether you will or will not have kids is your choice.

I believe that since addictions are unconscious, then they mirror our unconscious needs perfectly. @BooksandTrees , @James Good or I are former ex-streamers. My real-world social interactions sucked, so I started with a blank slate online, posting on various forums and streaming. Gaming is a world within a world and it really was whatever I wanted it to be. It was a bit different for each of us. I think we'll pull through. Gaming is living its golden age now. Before that, it was TV, alcohol or tobacco. Are people wasting their time and money and eventually dying? Yes. Is money being made off of that? Yes. It's always been like that and I think it always will be. I don't think I am being cynical though. I was supposed to be giving a talk in about a month in one community center regarding my gaming addiction (or rather, just talking about my life). I just think that if you "get bludgeoned with the same argument again and again", you're better off finding an audience that might be receptive to the message you are trying to convey. The sad part is that all those parents, teachers and other people with authority likely did not contribute as much as they could to the development of the child (adult), if "some dude on YouTube" has more influence over the child's (adult's) life. The question should be "How can I become a parent my child could look up to and follow as an example?", not "How can I stop my child from being addicted?"

Regarding music, I find it difficult to put some new music tracks as background if I haven't listened to them yet, so I think the point you are making is correct that listening to music can be an activity of its own. I'm also looking forward to seeing you post some made-up joke 😄

The reason I never liked watching series or even YT videos was that it was too passive, compared to gaming or Twitch. The latter two can have a surprising amount of social interaction tied to them. Tied to that, a self-sufficient and relatively famous streamer actually has a life outside of streaming with a healthy social circle around him.

Oh, that's just my blog. I didn't post anything for quite a while now, but I have an article half-way there. I was writing about a different website 🙂

I'm a bit confused, because I am not sure if I mentioned my website here and it's not in English. Which one are you referring to?

Day 335: I commented on here a bit, read, went for a walk and did shopping, got Duolingo done, got my website up in a way I can present it already and cleaned my room. I'm gonna play chess in the evening.

Having just finished the first series, I actually did get a bit paranoid after coming back to the real world...

This thread should be in the "Troll the Community" section, not the "Ask the Community" 🙂

Honestly, I am not sure if most people actually have this kind of control over their lives. I think that if they had, what you are describing wouldn't happen. I'd even argue the weakness of the whole system as it is is that once we turn 6, we are forced to spend an increasing time at school and later on at work. But except for a few people, nobody makes that decision consciously. I think part of being a true adult is being able to redirect those 40, 50 or even 60 hours of extra waking time towards something meaningful, but also reasonably fun, even if you didn't ask for them. Survive and adapt!

Day 334: I did Duolingo, worked out, worked on my web, read, watched "The Expanse" and played a 2v2 football. Good day.

I think a well-thrown object might do the trick with mice as well. Although I never did it on my own and until the end, I have experience with terminating pigs. It doesn't haunt me, I think have a nature to withstand these things. I actually think spiders are cool 😄 Agreed on the second paragraph, just try to do our best!

The idea is that nobody has immunity for it yet and letting everyone have the virus at the same would be destabilizing not only from the medical perspective, but from the economical too. Though I think you are right on that we will eventually have "herd immunity" as the end-goal of this.

Day 333: Today I got into a series called "The Expanse", did Duolingo, got (back) on OKC and Tinder after approximately 6 month hiatus, worked on my web, played chess and chatted with one of the guys and took a walk in the evening. --- I'm gonna try to reorganize myself for tomorrow. I think the mid-day workout was crucial for me, as I like to start my days off lazy (writing here, reading, eating, Duolingo etc.), then work out, eat (have lunch), take a shower and then I'm ready to roll by mid-day/early afternoon. There's quite a large sparsely forested area I will go to meditate/exercise/walk starting tomorrow that's largely devoid of people. I can also go shopping on my way back. Sitting on my ass all day makes me do nothing all day.

Day 332: I watched a video about the climate change and its implications for my country, did the groceries, Duolingo, finished reading the article about "nuclear family", worked on my web, watched a lighthearted improvisation show with a philosophical overreach about the current situation, wrote on my blog and went outside for a walk. I didn't work out, since the gym at the dorms is closed since today. I'll start using my expander tomorrow and will try to seek some public workout playgrounds outside. --- I have to admit that the current situation is difficult for me. Therefore, I'm convinced there is a lesson in it. Not because I could get ill, but because I can't be social as much as I would normally be. I'm gonna give my social life a thought. My social life has transformed slowly. From the beginnings of confiding to my family members, through living together with my coworkers in Iceland, teaching English after my return and finally moving to the dorms in the city center. Each step brought me closer together with other people in the society. It even got to the point of me writing this earlier today: Currently, there are two guys I am aware of that I know at the dorms; the rest of the students went home, except some of the Erasmus ones. I could technically go home to live with my parents for a few weeks, but they already had flu/cold when I visited them over the weekend for lunch. I don't have my car since Friday either, because I put it into the pain shop and I'm not sure when is it going to be finished, otherwise I'd probably go a circle grandma-blood donation-brother and then headed back home with the notion of day well spent. I wrote the above quotes to my friend yesterday afternoon. I afterwards decided to sign up for volunteering in my area in case anyone in the higher-risk groups needs to get their shopping done or babysit their kids, just to make sure I channel my energy in a constructive way.

Same. I think when I was about 10 and I was on a solo vacation with my dad for a week, at some point, he told me "I love you" and gave me a pat on the back. I was so bewildered by that I just gave him a scared/confused look and said "What the hell?". It just wasn't something I would've expected from him, maybe because I didn't get to see him that often back then. When we get to talk nowadays, it's mostly about our progress in our lives, so we talk about what we did the past week. I know I can rely on him to get something done, because he's a man of action, and he can count on me in the same way. He has this primary way of showing affection.

It's alright, NMMNG isn't explicitly about where to find a date either. That's OK as well. I sometimes enjoy just watching people in groups or pairs interact with each other. Unless you start going to bars, you are probably meeting your future dates via work and hobbies. You have to choose the right venues for yourself, but you can obviously try new ones if you feel that something has sparked your interest.

@BooksandTrees It's alright. We are going to adjust for a couple of weeks. I actually wanted to write some people yesterday, yet I felt weird as to why would I write them if I normally meet them. I actually got myself into a point where I do not want to write with people I meet regularly, because the interactions are so much better in person. @Alexanderle I can attest to that relationship situation. I didn't get it back then, but anything longer than ONS spent together needs space, because there is dozen other things that (should) make "you" besides the relationship. I'm going to enjoy it once I get one again, though I hope it won't be as obsessive and compulsive as the last one!

Day 331: I went to a job interview to work on a summer camp, but halfway on my way there they called me that it's cancelled, because of the even more restrictive quarantine issued by the government. I was on my bike, so I took the opportunity to stay outside for a bit longer and cycled around a bit, as I just got my bike here and I do not know the bike routes here yet. I then read and laid in bed in a state of vigilance. I did German in Russian on Duolingo and sorted out mails. I had a good arm workout and I also did squats for the first time, although it was fairly easy, since my legs were always strong. I read a part of a long article on family, messed around with my web and cooked dinner. I also felt bored during the day. I think I need a bit of time to re-adjust to the newfound situation of being less social than before. I'll figure something out. --- It is a year since my ex and I split up. While it sucked in the moment (or a few weeks), it led to a chain of events where I understood as to why the relationship ended in the way it did and where I reconsidered the very axioms of how I go about my life. That eventually brought me here about a month later. I'm grateful for that realization.

I think there are two good ideas that go with this. First one is to honestly watch yourself, just writing down what you did. Binged on a series for three hours? Good. Worked out really hard for an hour? Good. That way you know where you're at. The second one is that you are already doing what you want at any given moment. There is just the argument whether you are doing it in the best possible way known to you, because your e.g. need for accomplishment can be fulfilled in an infinity of ways. I think any motivation to get you started is a good one, whether you e.g. work out to genuinely try to improve your health or to "just" impress girls. It's hard to tell what your majority motivation is before you actually get to the point where it's no longer valid. So maybe you find a girl and you quit working out. The bad news is afterwards you played a trick on her, because a chunk of you she fell for is not there anymore. I'd argue the best way to avert that is to discipline oneself go to the gym every day regardless, but I understand if everybody doesn't have time to do that 😄