BooksandTrees

Thank you. It's honestly a reminder to not give up and keep trying no matter how hard it is to get better. She's ok but won't listen to diet advice so her blood sugar keeps going up to almost 500 which is extremely dangerous. I honestly have to detach myself from the situation because she keeps eating junk and it's going to kill her. I don't have control of what she eats so I can't worry about it. I did my best to help and I can't commit to the unwilling. I will do my best to recover though and get through my depression and eat better to continue to lose weight.

Thanks. Yes, I see a psychiatrist, psychologist, and am on medication and spoke to them about it so I'm in good hands.

My mom almost died this past weekend. That, plus my friend committing suicide, studying, and working has just been exhausting. I'm very happy to have some time off soon. I just gotta get through tomorrow. I think I'm just going to simplify my life a bit. I'll do studying, exercise, animation, and nothing. I've given up on writing and other crap. I got too many ideas and alienated my original ideas.

I think it's just recognizing you're doing it and telling yourself to stop. It needs to be a simple process you believe in so you don't feel like it's work.

Today I'm 148 weeks free from gaming. Something I've decided as of last night is that I think too much. Whether it's rumination, day dreaming, or just planning ahead, I'm constantly thinking and it's causing me to stop doing things. I believe it's a greater form of escapism. This morning I decided to wake up and not think about being tired. I went downstairs and exercised, ate breakfast, cleaned, and sat outside to relax and just observe nature. I then went up and am writing this post. I'll study now and not think about fear of failing or excitement of passing. I will study because I have to study and there's nothing more and nothing less.

I had a slower start today but I'm treating myself a bit. I took today off, cleaned my house, ate fewer calories than yesterday morning, and am getting a massage soon. I plan on studying today after the massage and relaxing a bit afterwards. Important Note: I don't want any exercise of diet advice from anyone. I have lost weight before. This has strictly been due to depression.

I have quit my old job and got a new one. I have been so depressed at my current job that I just sleep after work or do nothing. I have no desire to do anything and I'm already on anti depressants etc. I've gained almost 45 lbs and I just have nothing in the tank. My girlfriend, family, and friends have all noticed I've been depressed and made comments about how they're concerned. I spoke with my doctor and therapist and decided to get a new job. I instantly feel better. I feel like I have hope again. I feel like I appreciate my career again. I get treated so much better and feel so much happier. I'm sleeping at night again and feeling better overall. I got an incredible bump in pay and stand to get another if I pass this test, which is motivating as well. I bought an exercise bike and am happy to use it. My girlfriend was very supportive of me quitting and I appreciate it very much.

I feel better this weekend. I'll be studying tonight and tomorrow and spending time with my girlfriend. Should be good. I bought an exercise bike and I did a lot of socializing this week which helped me feel better. I'm 144 weeks from gaming as well.

Depressed at current job even though it would be better if I completed my project this week. I had 1 interview that went well and applied for another. We'll see. I just haven't been happy or felt purposeful at my current job.

I agree. It also releases chemicals to fight the stress chemical of cortisol and I think that's what's getting me defeated before I start.

Welcome back. It's easy to be disappointed in ourselves. Just gotta keep on going with it. 1 day is good. 2 days is better. Keep it up. Start thinking about what triggers cause you to game. What are your routines and habits? Good luck.

That's basically what's going on with me. It's still the same atmosphere as when I quit 2 years ago a couple dozen pages back lol. I just can't take it anymore. I appreciate my independence but I also think my mental health is taking a hit here and I'm not really learning anything. I just go through the motions and don't feel like I'm part of the team and it is unmotivating. That's awesome. I think physical exertion is really important to our health and unfortunately I haven't moved an inch during this depression spell. I've been suffering all day long. All I've been doing this week is sleeping for the most part.

I had a 2.5 hour interview today and it went very well. I'm actually excited about what the company has to offer. I just get so depressed even thinking about my office. I turn on the computer and feel like I'm not part of the team. I feel isolated. I understand the virus did that to everyone, but it's been like this since before the virus. My boss never talks to anyone unless it's for something due immediately. It's just a robotic environment and I constantly received grief for being the slightest bit of colorful. They suppress you there. It's terrible. Let's see what happens.

I applied for another job tonight. We'll see what happens. I'm just not very happy right now.

I'm frustrated how one day at work is bad and one day is Ok and then one is bad and then one might be good. I don't want to switch jobs but I have an interview tomorrow at another firm. I hate how isolated our firm is. I think there are too many introverts in this firm and they don't communicate at all. It's frustrating.

Today I'm 145 weeks free from gaming. I've been studying every day for 2+ hours. I feel motivated this time around. I'm gonna do it.

It's tough to think about in the moment but I try to remember the phrase HALTED H - Hungry A - Angry L - Lonely T - Tired E - Environmental (work or home stress) D - Dehydrated

I was pretty depressed earlier today but i realized I'm very thirsty and tired. I took a nap and drank a lot of water and I feel better. I think it's a reminder to stay on top of daily maintenance and it can maybe limit depression triggers.

One day is good then one day is bad.

Good luck on the job search.

Today I started studying for real. I did 2 hours of studying and created a plan to study every day until October 22 for the exam. I did a bad job studying last time and I will make up for that mistake. I owe it to myself to put my best foot forward. I'm determined to work hard again. Something I haven't done in years.

Weight loss was intended. I gained weight while depressed.

I'm at 144 weeks this weekend. Work has gotten better. I worked yesterday because I felt behind on a project and feel better now. I'm very tired today and haven't been really entertaining to my girlfriend or anything but she said she understands. I feel bad about it though. I'd like to nap more today and then try a hobby.

I haven't felt like posting in a while. Work has been emotional. I've uploaded my second podcast, lost 10 lbs, and am trying to do more hobbies. My girlfriend has been supportive too. I hope you've all been doing well.