NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Mohammad
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Posts posted by Mohammad
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On 2/9/2021 at 1:45 PM, BooksandTrees said:
I've reached new levels of boredom and unfulfillment at work and it's crushing my motivation. Little projects pile up, studying has to occur, no time for fun outside of work. I'm just grateful for my new relationship. It's the one bright spot right now that I've got going.
I'm just struggling to find motivation for my projects. Even when I exercise before and after work or watch my shows or do a hobby it does nothing to quell my boredom. I'm not really sure what to do. I guess we all go through these phases.
It is interesting that you do not game even with the disappointment and boredom you, sometimes, get in life!
Boredom and gaming are strongly correlated in my case; not sure how to deal with it.
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Day 20:
I played one game on day 19, but didn't play on day 20.
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I have not been playing in the past 19 days.
I am feeling tempted to play games again! The reason could be the long weekend! Not sure what to do now.
@BooksandTreesThat's a very good idea. But, what kind of online activities can we do together! I cannot think of any. It is fun playing together! But, I know it negatively impacts my life so I really do not know what to do about it.
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Congrats @BooksandTreesfor 117 weeks from gaming! It is motivating for me to see how far you came 🙂
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I am back after a month of relapsing. I spent the last month playing 2-3 hours per day. It was not detrimental to my life and I enjoyed playing with my brothers. However, I was not able to do workout and read books in the past month. I spend the whole day working behind my desk so I believe two hours of gaming per day is very bad for my health anyway.
It is interesting that my brothers are quite similar to me! After I told them that I want to delete league of legend account, my older brother agreed and he immediately removed his account as well. My younger brother who does not suffer from gaming addiction only removed the game from his computer.
Today was the second day without gaming. I did daily workout and read books. I am on track again 🙂
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2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I tried quitting ever since 2008 and couldn't do it. It took until 2018.
That's a long time.
I get urges sometimes but I just change the conversation, calm down and realize the day will end and tomorrow is a new day, and try to force myself into a different mindset. Enough pain is enough.
Wow! it took 10 years for you to get here. That's right. I have been trying only for two years. I've got to try again.
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I don't know what to do. I am not determined enough to start a new detox! I have played for about 2-4 hours everyday . I removed my steam account about a month ago to stop playing dota and now I am playing league of legends! LOL is even harder to abandon because my two brothers are also playing it! That reminds me of my childhood so there is quite of lot of positive feelings playing with them. However, I should do exercise and read books instead of gaming to be able to have a good night sleep and achieve long term satisfaction. Gaming at night makes me tired in the morning and it affects my productivity for the day. That is not acceptable so I know I gotta get rid of gaming anyway! It is just so hard to convince myself out of it and fight against strong temptation. I will try to focus more on my goals and plans to be able to resist the temptation.
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1 hour ago, BooksandTrees said:
Today I'm 115 weeks free from gaming and 117 weeks free from social media. I've been waking up early every day this week and feel so much better. I'm finally getting 6-7 hours of consecutive sleep each night. I'm dominating at work and I'm doing my hobbies etc. I feel a lot better.
I finished a difficult project this week at work and I took some time to just randomly play the drums because I like the noise. I wasn't trying to play a certain song or anything. It was fun. I've also been doing some yoga in the mornings and watching my tv shows at night. I've simplified life a bit and feel better. Also did some virtual chats with friends.
I wanted to talk about what happened in Washington this week, but I want to uphold the rules Cam set forth on this website and not discuss politics. I just hope everyone is safe and doing what they can to maintain mental sanity during this time. Having that drama on top of the coronavirus stress is not very good for our health. Hopefully positivity will come soon.
I have strong opinions about it, but once again will not discuss as per Cam. I also don't want anyone talking about it on my forum. Thank you.
Congratulation on 115 weeks! That is so amazing. how does it feel to be free of gaming for this long? I mean, isn't there any temptation? Is relapsing something of the past for you? I am not sure how many times you have relapse coming this far! I am asking this question because, as you know, I am having difficulty sticking to my detox for too long. After a few months, I feel good enough to get back to gaming and that's when the dissatisfaction starts to kick in and I start a new detox.
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8 hours ago, dasvira said:
Massive relapse between Christmas and new year.
I gamed all the time from Christmas to now. Started playing videogames (cyberpunk+red dead redemption) with my cousins and I got totally hooked on it. I downloaded that shit in my PC and I was playing videogames all the time until Sunday, then I binged in the expanse season 5. If I was not watching shows or playing games I was surfing on Reddit or watching YouTube videos.
I also drank wine and saw porn most of the days, and was waking up almost at midday most of the time. I simply gave up on my life during this last week.
I actually planned leaving this forum for good. However, here I am again restarting my journey to get rid of my addictions hopping for a better outcome this time.
Just like me. I was hooked on the break too! I am happy you came back here again.
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Thanks for your comment @BooksandTreesand @Bugg. Gaming is fun but it has some negative impacts on me. I feel lazy when I play. I was free for two weeks and I did only two workouts! That is bad enough.
I spent the past two weeks gaming for about 3-4 hours per day. I don't think it is detrimental, but surely, it is a waste of time. I could do something worthwhile with that 30-40 hours spent on useless video gaming.
I got to start a new detox. I am happy with my 70-day detox and I do not mind to start over.
For the better, here we go with a new detox as of Jan. 3rd 2021.
I am having some urges for gaming, that is completely normal. I have to commit myself to the plan and continue writing here to be on track. I will do workout, meditation and read before going to bed.
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On 1/1/2021 at 1:54 AM, BooksandTrees said:
I went to bed before new year's and got about 3 hours of sleep before waking up. I had a full dream and everything. I was very thirsty and remembered I ate a lot of pancakes before bed.
This made me start recording my diet again and I'm noticing I'm eating lots of simple carbs, sugars, sodium, and not much protein and complex carbs and healthy fats. I have those in my house but I'm avoiding them out of laziness.
I think the plan tomorrow will be to cook more balanced meals again like I did before October. I'm also going to limit the sodium and drink more water.
The diet retooling will provide me with more energy and more food variety.
I'm hoping this positively impacts my sleep and daily wellbeing.
The rest of my goals this weekend will consist of shopping, going to the bank, doing 1 drum lesson, and spending 1 hour on animation.
The remainder will be for rest.
Happy new year everyone.
Wish you a happy 2021, @BooksandTrees
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I was wondering how long have you been in contact with her? I think you should have met each other earlier. What's your opinion on this? I know that you have Covid-19 concerns, but isn't that too long of a wait?
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On day 71, I did not play. I had strong urge but managed to control it and focused on my thesis revision.
@BooksandTreesThanks for your advice. Honestly, I do not blame my bro. He did not really persuade me. He just offered and it was enough for me to relapse. I think I might have relapsed anyway because I had some temptations in the last few days. I think the main reason is that I am off for a week and I know that I should rest in this short period of time. As such, I am thinking why not game for a few days and then get back to work like before. So my main problem is that why taking it too seriously if I can start a new detox after the break?
@BuggThank you for your message. I am clear about my goals. I know how important it is for me to become financially independent. Focusing on my goals, I managed to avoid gaming on day 71. About the fear, I think it is going away because after spending a day on my thesis, I realized it is totally under control. As such, I have no strong motivation not to game on my days off.
I think the main reason I am trying not to relapse is that I do not want to reset my detox! This is not good enough to block the temptation. It is clear why I am feeling urged to play (having some time to spare) and I found it hard to convince myself out of it. I am not resetting the detox for now because it would be easier to continue relapsing if I do so.
Thanks and I appreciate your feedback on this.
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68, 69, 70:
Unfortunately, I could not resist the temptation and I played with my bro again on day 69 and 70 for about two hours. I don't know what to do! I see that I am getting hooked again. I woke up today cleaning out the house to get some positive energy. I am going to go through my feelings and contemplate on my goals.
It is really a bad time to relapse. I have to finish up my final thesis revision and defend it on January 11th! I am very scared of the situation!
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On 12/20/2020 at 3:45 PM, dasvira said:
Another week goes by.
I have been studying most of the time (stopped counting, but at a minimum of 11h every single day, apart from today), even if that meant that I wouldn't exercise/read/meditate/journaling on a day. My studying are going very well, but my mental health not so much... I am not sure it is sustainable in the long run to study this much. I kept internet surfing to a minimum (I spent 05 consecutive days without any surfing), but I saw porn twice along the week...
Yesterday however I drank like half a bottle of wine (mainly due of stress I think) and saw porn afterwards. I overslept until 6:30 today, saw porn in the morning and have been surfing on reddit literally the entire day, started to see some streams of cyberpunk 2077 and felt an enormous urge to play it (thank god my steam account is deleted FOREVER). I even thought about abandoning this journal, but I feel like being held accountable makes me live more responsibly.
I found that my previous diet was bat-shit-crazy restrictive and I wouldn't be able to continue it in the long run. I am following a simple 1500kcal diet (and I don't eat anything with I pass that threshold). Stuck to it everyday with the exeption of today. I am 100,1kg (-1,1kg this week).
PLANNED ROUTINE (MON-SAT):
4:30 wake up.
5:00-6:00 walk with my dog.
6:00-6:30: 20-40min reading (alternate days)
6:30-6:50: 20min meditation.
TOLERANCE
7:30-9:00: study.
9:00 - 11:00: PW meal (25g of protein, from tuna, egg or cheese). Weight lifting.
11:00-12:30: lunch.
until 20:30-21:00: study (I take a 20 min nap after my first 30 min study session). Dinner in between at 17:00 or so.
Good habits (consecutive days):
- Got out of my bed in less than 5min: 00 (prev. max: 05)
- Diet: 00 (prev max 12)
Bad habits (days without):
- gaming: 35
- TV / streaming: 35
- Alcohol: 0 (prev max 16)
- Porn: 01 (prev. max.: 11)
- Unwholesome social media and internet surfing: 00 (prev. max.: 5)
11 hours of studying is a bit too much for me! I prefer to have at max 6-8 hours of focused work and spend at least a few hours on reading, exercising, etc every day. I believe persistence is the key to success. 11 hours may not be sustainable in the long run unless you are like Elon Musk!
That you came along without gaming for 35 days is fantastic. Good job.
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16 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
Had my 4th video date tonight. I really enjoyed it. She's so engaging during conversation and it's a real delight to go back and forth with jokes and deep conversation. There's such a great blend that it keeps things fresh for the entire date. I had fun.
That's amazing 🙂
I think you are doing very well.
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Day 65, 66, 67:
On day 65, I played for an hour with my brother. I won't consider this a relapse because I played because I didn't want to say no to him, and it wasn't the game I am addicted too.
@dasviraNo, they don't. They know I have wasted a lot of time with gaming, but they don't know about my addiction.
I didn't really enjoy the game I played. However, I feel it is too risky to play again with him. I might got hooked in. I know it can trigger my addiction and I might ended up relapsing. Therefore, I will make excuse the next time and avoid gaming altogether.
Thank you @BooksandTrees. You definitely helped me out of gaming. The fact that you followed my journal and gave me valuable advice really was the reason I came back here and continued writing.
I did not play in day 66 and 67. In fact, I have been doing very well with my work and life in the past two months.
in total, I have read 13 books from Nov. 2019. The last book I finished a few days ago was "Elon Musk" by Ashley Vance. I loved the book. I am now reading "zero to one" by Peter Thiel.
I am set to get my PhD! Finally, I received permission to go to the oral examination on January 11th. I need to be vigilant; more than before!
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On 12/13/2020 at 7:37 AM, dasvira said:
Another week passed by.
PORN: This week masturbated 03 times (but I was careful to be quick and efficient about it and only took <15min LOL). Honestly, I kind of quit my commitment of quitting porn during some days and started to "cut corners". At least I fap quickly once a day, my lust is satiated and don't bother for the entire day, which is not true about TV/Games/surfing/food because once I have a little taste of it I always want more and waste my entire day hooked on that kind of shit...
As I said a few days ago, I don't think porn affect my life in the same way that my addiction to technology does. However, I journaled how I felt and I still think that porn doesn't really make me any good. I reckon that I feel sleepy and sad just after ejaculating. I am not sure how honest I am being about my commitment to quit porn, but I will at least keep journaling about my porn habits. I am considering joining NoFap.
CAFFEINE: I tried to quit caffeine coldturkey (I had already reduced my consumption of it by half), as I result I felt like a complete zombie on Monday and Tuesday and I did basically nothing on those days and only studied for 1-2 hours. I can't really afford an entire week only to detox, so I cut my caffeine consumption by about 30-50% at morning (I had already reduced it by 50% to only a big mug at morning two weeks ago, so I only consuming 25-35% as much caffeine as I used to before I started journaling this month). I am not sure I want to quit caffeine completely, but I still want to reduce my intake of it a little bit more.
DIET: I was 1,62m and 111kg at the beginning of the month. I lift weights heavy since 8 years so I have a pretty solid muscle mass, that being said I got rather fat on the last 4 years(6 months ago 42% body fat, now I would guess I am about 36% or 37%). I was already dieting on the beginning of the month an dropped to 106kg at the beginning of this week.
Early this week I started a diet based on intermittent fasting (20hours fasting - 4 hours of feeding window before gym and lunch 9:00-13:00); and ketogenic diet very low carbs (<30g), 150g of protein, fats are unrestricted though I usually keep it relatively low at around 50-70g. That is a pretty hypo-caloric diet, and while it isn't a traditional keto diet (which usually has less protein and more fats) I do some urinary keto test so and, apparently, I am in ketosis so I see no reason to change it. I pretend to fast on Sundays and only consume water and electrolytes (so I would do an almost 48h fast from Saturday to Monday).
The keto flu is REAL! I have been urinating like crazy this week and dropped 5kg mostly of water retention (from 106kg to 101kg on Friday), and I am drinking A LOT of water every day. On Friday I was starting to feel bad with nausea and malaise. I have hypertension (nothing serious) and 2 hours after I took my daily anti-hypertensive pills yesterday, I got a mild hypotensive crisis my BP=110/40 and CF=110, I vomited twice and felt really bad. After that I drunk 1L of a homemade isotonic solution of NaCl and K, took 40 min to nap and in less than an hour I was as good as new. Today I reduced my anti-hypertensive drugs and my blood pressure is normal.
EXERCISE: 60min of slow walking at 5:00-6:00 with my dog (unless it is raining, which happens often). 60-90min of weigh lifting 9:30-11:00.
SURFING: I didn't surf at all for 4 days during this week, but I still surfed in 3 days, specially yesterday that I spent 1:30 in social media.
OUT OF BED: Waking up 4:30, got out of bed before 4:35 3/7 days this week, in 3/7 I took a maximum of 15 min to wake up. Today I decided to sleep over to 6:00 because I will be fasting and reducing caffeine so I need to be well rested. First thing I do in the morning is wearing my wristwatch.
TV/Games: I realize I am now almost a full month without TV, streaming or games. I feel so much better without that kind of shit. I had absolutely no cravings for it during this week. While it is true that I have quit it before in the past and so far I have always relapsed, I feel something different now. I really believe that this will be my final and successful attempt of quitting it for good. That being said, the definitive prove will only come if I am able to hold on and not relapse.
READING: I finished the Enchiridion (handbook) of Epictetus and a small collection of his discourses this week, this my second reading of his handbook and I didn't enjoy it in my first read 5 years ago. Now that I am more mature I really liked it and it has some great passages (and is a quick read).
I am reading the "Heart of Buddha Teachings" by Thich Nhat Hahn for the third time. I really like this book and it was THE book who rescued me from nihilism 7 years ago. I don't agree with everything in it, but AFAIK it is the most accessible and comprehensible book of Buddhist teachings. Contrary to most monks of an Asian background, the author is quite open minded and ecumenical with other Buddhist schools and western philosophy in general. Also he preaches only what he lives himself, which I think is admirable.
STUDY: not terrible, but not close to my goals either. They were pretty uneven and there were days I studied for 9:00 hours and days I studied for only 1:00 (when I was in caffeine abstinence or Keto flu...). On average I studied for 4:23min everyday, using a modified pomodoro method.
MY IDEAL ROUTINE (MON-SAT):
4:30 wake up.
5:00-6:00 walk with my dog.
6:00-6:30: 30min reading
6:30-6:50: 20min meditation.
40 min of tolerance because I am not a machine
7:30-9:00: study.
9:00 - 11:00: PW meal (25g of protein, from tuna, egg or cheese). Weight lifting.
11:00-12:30: lunch.
until 20:30-21:00: study (I take a 20 min nap after my first 30 min study session).
I pretend to stick to this routine during my next week.
Good habits (consecutive days):
- Got out of my bed in less than 5min: 00 (prev. max:04)
- Diet: 04
Bad habits (days without):
- gaming: 28
- TV / streaming: 28
- Alcohol: 10
- Porn: 01 (prev. max.: 11)
- Unwholesome social media and internet surfing: 00 (prev. max.: 3)
Good job @dasvira! very comprehensive writings.
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I am sorry to hear the bad news about your exam. Hopefully, you'll get it the next time. You have the perseverance to go for it again, so I am sure you'll be good.
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Day 57 to 64:
I did not have any temptation in the past week. However, today, my bro sent me a message to see if I was up for a game. I have not been playing with him since childhood. The game he offered was a game we used to play 15 years ago so it was very nostalgic. I was tempted to play and said okay. I looked at some youtubes too. Playing with my bro won't probably make me addicted because that is a different game; not the game I am addicted to. However, I ended up watching some youtubes about the game I was addicted to and I was tempted to play it after I saw a new update has arrived; it is one of the biggest update in the past year. I remembered the last day that I decided not to game again. In fact, I had that feeling written in my notes, so I went back to my notes and read through them. My feeling was very horrible that day! I felt desperate and disappointed about myself. The horrible feeling of that day was present today, and saved me today.
I think I should make sure to read that note of my feelings every day to make sure that I do not forget how miserable my life can get if I come short resisting my gaming temptation.
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Day 53 to 57:
No gaming and no temptation. It's all good in the right direction.
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On 12/9/2020 at 8:57 PM, Jason70 said:
Yeah, for the past 10 months it's been like this. We would do our work and then our hobbies and then the day would end. In fact I have had the thought that besides quarantine, that's what every day has been like at least for people who don't live their life to the fullest and get stuck in a 9-5. Which is unfortunate. Idk time is weird, days are weird. We should just do our best to carve out time and make the most of every day. Also we have some promising vaccines that have been approved by countries so hopefully it will die down early next year?
This makes me happy
Best
Jason
Thank you @Jason70. Yes, thankfully, the vaccine is getting us through this pretty quickly. 😄
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On 12/7/2020 at 5:16 PM, BooksandTrees said:
I gotta work late today to get my project done. But I'm determined.
I'm a little worried about the dating situation. She's still talking to me and said she's excited for our date Thursday, but she uploaded 3 new dating photos to her profile and they're very pretty. It makes me think she's trying to find something better.
I won't let it phase me. I still use the app and read people. She could have done it for my attention as well. I'm just going to focus on work.
I am thrilled to see that it is working for you. Keep us updated. That is pretty exciting!
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Day 51, 52, 53:
Thank you @dasviraand @Jason70 for your comments. Yes, screen time is a real issue especially because of the pandemic. Too much strain on my eyes.
I can't really tell the difference between my days. Basically, the same thing every day. Waking up, working at home and going to bed. all day long at home behind the screen! Hopefully, we are getting rid of Covid-19 pretty quickly.
Anyway, the good thing is that I have no urge for gaming and I am able to enjoy my work. That's about it.
I am getting there to my 90-day detox this time pretty easily, but yet, I know that I should not be proud about it. I am well aware of the risk and I think about it daily even though I am writing twice a week.
Dear Diary...
in Daily Journals
Posted
I am very happy for you 🙂