Tycoon

Good on you for skipping past Spyro! I bought the Crash Bandicoot remaster when it released because of nostalgia. But if I wanted nostalgia I could have just played the originals sitting in a box under my bed! Your 2nd paragraph on Day 36 is extremely relatable right now - hit the nail on the head there. Hope you feel better and have a lovely holiday!

Day 27 I've spent the last week just being sort of semi-content. When you're on holiday you can bask in the feeling of not really needing to do anything. When you come back its sort of like I should do something but I don't know what. My writing has slowed down as I haven't been able to get into that mindset again. Probably pick up again as I get into routine. Tonight I watched a film with a sad ending which had me crying for atleast 20 minutes. I am so weak. But it was a very uplifting film too and so it turned into happy crying. I'm so happy to be alive guys. This journal is strange it's not even about the not playing games, it's more about appreciating life. I can see that from other people's journals too - it's very inspiring. @Bugg yes exactly! I do wonder whether these people have found the right balance between life and games (even though they seem to be playing all the time). Let's hope they do come to realise!

Day 14-21 Now back from my holiday and it’s like I’ve reset myself. I got outside and went for a walk each day. It’s more enjoyable to walk somewhere that’s not your hometown! I also wrote a lot when I had time in the evening. No game cravings! I’m actually thinking more and more about how it’s such a waste of time. People I know talk to me about games and I suddenly have very little interest to continue the conversation. It’s all I knew, and it’s all they knew about me. How boring! Learning to enjoy the little things. Today I’m grateful for: Rain (it’s so calming)

Day 13 I said yesterday that I'll keep up with the gaming world but really is there any point? I was so inspired today just thinking to myself about who I could be instead and I liked that person a lot better; someone who takes control of her life and makes plans and deliberate decisions. Someone who is healthy, and active and happy. Someone who really learns from her mistakes and doesn't stop at that hurdle that looks a little bit too high. I'm actually going away for a week so I plan to get stuck into writing and do a ton of walking. May put this journal on hold for a week unless I find some internet. Happy Easter all!

Day 11+12 I think it has taken a weight off my mind to know that gaming isn't my set activity in the evening. I am socializing a lot less online because of it, but I really do think I needed this time to myself so that I can focus on being creative and making a plan. Spent the evening of Day 11 brainstorming more screenplay. Came to a blockade yesterday and didn't know how to progress and so I tried watching a show, of a similar genre, to get some ideas. This probably wasn't the best idea as I did get sucked in to watching it. It did help somewhat and so I will call that research! I do still watch an Overwatch video at lunch every day, as well as listening to gaming soundtracks, and I keep up with gaming news. For now, the video and gaming news is used to fill those small gaps in the day. I'm not sure when I'll stop these as, even though I don't play, I like to keep up with the gaming world. My colleagues talk about the latest games and so I'm always passively filled in. Something I read in @Dannigan's journal about being part of a team to get back to socialising got me thinking. I used to do a ton of sport in my pre-gaming days (netball, rounders, cricket, hockey) but there came a point where this became less accessible and so I stopped. Gaming probably sparked the competitiveness again. This might be something I look into and see if there are any teams in my area (might need to work on my arm strength D:). On Day 12 now, I'm just packing for my holiday and I'll probably do more writing before bed.

Just popping in to say Happy Birthday!! Thank you for all the podcast highlights - I definitely want to go through and make a note of the ones you have suggested as well as reading up on your one year journey (wow!!).

Day 10 (what??) I couldn't wait to get home so that I could continue with my screenplay! This has never happened before as my default activity in the evening would always be games. I'm really enjoying it at the moment so let's hope this momentum continues! I feel kinda sick today - I'm not sure if I'm catching a bug or if I've just not eaten enough (I skipped dinner yesterday as I wasn't hungry). I'll sleep on it and see how I feel! @JSmith that's usually all it took before the guilt settled in and I realised I was wasting my time. I do miss the thrill of a PvP game though. The important thing here is that we're strong now! @Dannigan thanks for the supportive words! Yeah interacting, or consuming, fiction is definitely an invitation to getting lost in those worlds. Not always a bad thing when in small doses!! I want to have a hand in creating these worlds so that's what I'm working on now!

Day 9 I spend way too long writing these that I end up not having time in the evening! Here goes my attempt at writing this in 10 minutes. Today was another cleaning day - this time I actually bagged everything up and removed it from my room. The space is looking a lot clearer now, I feel like I can actually breathe! I do feel like my room reflects my state and so now that I have a clear room, I have a clear mind. I also did most of my packing as I'm on holiday over Easter. Usually I bring my 3DS but this time it'll just be my camera and some paper and pencils! I'm outlining some more of my screenplay now. I can't believe I didn't put this much effort in before it's actually pretty simple (for now). The actual writing of each scene is where the pain comes in. Some desires to game today. Just the one game of Overwatch to quench those desires... But I need to remember that I literally gain nothing from it. ((I failed to write this in 10 minutes :( )) @info-gatherer thanks for writing these questions! I do need to find a clear answer to them. Maybe I should have used the word 'comfortable' instead of 'safe'. No need to worry about bills or the food shop and I know my parents will always be there to provide sound advice. Need to get out of my comfort zone for sure if I want to grow!

Day 8 So I did say that I was going to pack up my PS4 when it got to the weekend. Although I forgot that I use it to watch Netflix, which I did for an hour today, and so it's useful once a week now. Ugh. Today was another cleaning day. Didn't really feel too motivated though as I'd done most of it last weekend. This was sort of going through drawers and cupboards and doing a proper clear out. My mum wants to hold on to stuff that I want to clear out. She's only going to keep it forever and then its going to get passed on to me and then I'm going to throw it out...??? I really want to move out. I still live with my parents and, although they are the most supportive parents I could ever have, their presence really grinds on me. They're always telling me what I should/shouldn't do or what I should've done which is the worst one. It's cold wear a coat/ have you got your lunch/ tidy your room. I had complete freedom and independence at uni and now it's gone. Ultimately I am saving money, and home has always made me feel safe. But is safe, in this context, good? Whilst I was watching Netflix I was also working on some Ursula earrings for a costume party. I'm pretty stingy with money, or resourceful if you can look at it that way, and I try to not spend money on something I can potentially make. This was just some unwanted earrings + hot glue + nail varnish. Voila! Some accessories that look decent if you're standing 10 metres away. It'll do. Gonna continue some writing before bed. Today I'm grateful for: > My parents (despite what I say, I wouldn't have them any different)

Happy Birthdaaaayy! Honestly social media marketing is where it's at. I don't know much about this area but people are creating new businesses all the time without the online know-how. My mum is starting a business and has asked me to help with the online aspect, and my workplace recently hired a social media expert. All jumping on the marketing train! I also said, when I was younger, that 'I'll never work in an office' but HERE WE ARE. We just won't tell our past selves about this little blip.

Sing girl, sing! I know I always feel better when I belt out a tune. Hey sing and play guitar? That’s 2 birds with 1 stone right there.

You’re writing a sci-fi novel?? That sounds amazing! That is going to feel so good when it’s finished. Also I feel you on the arm weakness thing - it should have a term like ‘Gamer Arms: Spent so long gaming that your arms are now jelly’. :’)

@J(e)RK yeah maybe you’re right. It just feels as though I’m doing nothing as with gaming. Doing my best to get active ASAP! @JSmith and I did! Only did 15 mins but I got a ton of ideas down! Hope you’re following through with this too!

Day 7 Although not sure whether to reset the day count... I think I'll leave it. The days, for me, represent my journey. So this eve I did play that game as I said yesterday. I actually enjoyed it and it wasn't a drag like it sometimes was when I played by myself. No desire to play anything else since she left so I think we're safe! I told her what I was doing. That was unusually difficult as I didn't want to make it seem like I was critisising her lifestyle. This is my decision about my life. I wish I could make her see what I see but I guess she would have to experience that herself. I think she understands. I don't really know what I'm doing. I stare into space alot when I have free time and this is just as bad as gaming. To combat this do I need to do research? I think I'm so caught up in needing to create something right here right now, that the ideas are just not forming. Researching and learning more would probably be beneficial. Quite late now and so I think I'll start some writing. I've had screenplay ideas buzzing around my head for literally years so I'm going to research and expand some ideas now. Today I'm grateful for: > My best friend > Instrumental music > A fresh piece of paper

Day 6 It's always Thursday evenings when I feel knackered - the weekend is almost here! Invited my friend over tomorrow just to chill out after work. We will probably play a couch co-op game which I felt guilty about as soon as I asked. However the strict rules I have applied are: I can only play games as long as I'm playing in the same room with someone else. This means I HAVE to be social and instigate meet-ups which is very different for me. Sometimes I go to work socials where we play couch co-op games and so I wouldn't be able to completely get away! Me and my bestie hardly meet up anymore so this will be a really nice evening! This will also be a great opportunity to let her know what I'm doing with games overall. This is definitely a controlled "step back" - I have no plans of playing a game by myself and wasting any more time! Also forgot to mention that I'm not watching anything either. I do have a couple shows that I was in the middle of but these will be weekend indulgences only - and only one episode at that. I just want to clean! I keep seeing things that are serving no purpose in my life but can't really do anything til the weekend. My evenings are so short in the week so I don't have much time to do anything. I now use these hours to live in the present and focus on researching and playing guitar and writing! Been very content all week since starting this journal. It's literally like I'm starting out fresh (it is Spring I guess!) Today I'm grateful for: > My cat (she's so fluffy) > Slipper socks (these are also fluffy)! > Logic Square app (so this is a picross/nanogram app with a ton of puzzles - I play it almost each night before bed and it really tires my brain out ready for sleep!)