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WorkInProgress

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  1. 2020-06-10 Free of games and game-related videos since 2020-06-01 Right now I am procrastinating from work. That is why I thought I do this in a more productive way and write a quick entry here. Today I am pretty energetic and had a good morning. I took actively care of my son and we had a good time. I was still able to shower and make breakfast + coffee. I think it helped that we were awake around 5:10 and I slept well. So I had a lot of time this morning (from 5:10 - 8:10) to generate a good start in the day for my family. Work was a lot of communicating so far so now I need to sit down and produce something in a planned matter. I think the solution to my hesitation here is just to make a plan with times and stick to it if at all possible. I will also mute slack/outlook/etc for this time to get some work done.basically 2hours production mode.
  2. 2020-06-09 Free of games and game-related videos since 2020-06-01 It sucks but I need introspection way more then I was aware of. I am glad to have a medium here to "think in writing". Today was another stress inducing morning. Work coupled with some private family issues forced me to stop working and I couldn't get into a focussed mode. Unable to deal with my feelings I again opened youtube and watched something to get some distance (nothing game related though). Now I am able to write about it which is good progress. But to get back in that mental state costed me half an hour of work time. I read a book about feelings. It says it is essential to "feel through" the feelings and that they have a message to sent you. I think I am sad and frightened about this family issues. Maybe I should be angry instead to fuel my motivation against it. But I am not often angry about stuff. In my childhood I always had to cry if I were really angry which led to mocking at school. I think I somehow surpressed this feeling. And now I can't use it in a productive way. Instead of getting angry about things I can change (and then changing them fueled by that motivation) I feel helpless, sad and scared. This doesn't lead to action and should be appropriate if I couldn't do anything about it. But to always believing you can't do anything keeps you helpless and doesn't change the situation. I can do something about this and I will! Thanks for reading. I am back to work.
  3. Don't looking at the same stuff helps wiht craving. I think in my case it's just a way to handle with bad feelings and its hard to change that habit of watching stuff (especially since I went without gaming for over 2 years before I "relapsed"). But that's why I write here for accounatabilty. Instead of entering the loop I watched as a short break from work someone building a loghouse in canada. Then I was able to come here instead. Still not optimal but better. I will get there again. Thanks for your input.
  4. 2020-06-08 Free of games and game-related videos since 2020-06-01 Today was a stressfull day so far. I have a lot of work to do and did argue with my wife this morning. Now after a bigger representation went reasonably well I feel a bit better but still have a lot of tension inside me. I felt the urge to go the youtube route and even started to watch a video (non-gaming related) but after some reflection I decided to write here instead. Another little project will be due on 15:30. It feels like my lack of timemanagement is setting myself under a lot of unnecessary pressure. Because I don't know what I will have done until a point in time, I have always the feeling I need to do more. Slack on my mobile isn't helping. It is a crutch around bad planning/communication to be available all the time for work. The goal should be to have everything settled in a way that you don't need to be available all the time. After this realisation I deinstalled Slack. Writing helped a bit with the tension but no I need to, want to go to work again. Thanks for reading.
  5. 7 Days Free of games and game-related videos since 2020-06-01 Todays highlight was a trip with my son to the nearby playground. My mobile battery was almost down so I couldn't read a lot, and *had* to enjoy the time with him. Was great. A lot of worries about work though. It's hard for me to chill out. I should uninstall slack on my mobile again.
  6. 6 Days Free of games and game-related videos since 2020-06-01 Thank you all for your comments. I realize how much it helps to have a community of people around which are in a similar position. I also told my wife about going back to gamequitters so I don't have to sneak around doing it. I am thankful to have her in my life. My 3-month parental leave will begin in July and this means there is a lot of work to do at work. Due to corona, I took also a lot of holiday days which makes me anxious about finishing my current work before I am off. I am scared to leave in a bad way because I think this job is great and I don't want to leave a bad impression. Especially since I am still a new member of the team. The other thing I am anxious about is the birth of my second son. Our first one is challenging we don't have a "village" to support us because we don't have the best relationship to my mother and all my friends don't have kids and don't understand how hard it can be with one and soon two children who need a lot of attention. I am learning to draw with pencils from books right now which is in theory a great hobby. It doesn't need a computer and I imagine myself drawing for my wife and my children. I read in a book about some executive who draws a picture every day for both his daughters and puts them in their lunch packet. I would love to have such a routine. But it's hard for me to take time for myself if I am needed that much in my family right now. And if I am honest I was a little demotivated because the process was slow. I think I will post some sketches here from time to time. But I need first come into the habit of journaling again before I can commit to anything. I hope you all are doing well. I'll write to you soon.
  7. Thank you. And you beet me on reputation 😄.
  8. It just took a little too much time and I used it as a more positive evasion tactic for me not to have to feel current discomfort. Thats my thing. Evading bad stuff. Not so much the gaming addiction itself. Can do the same thing with watching stupid things. It was still essential to break the habit/addiction of gaming. Because if i am gaming I can basically stop thinking about anything else. So this is way worse then writing in a form or reading too muhc self-help 😉
  9. Hey there. I also realised that porn/masturbation is linked to gaming/youtube in my neuronal network. If I do one or the other, the probabilty increases a lot that I do the other too. If you are the same in this regard this is for sure a solid case to quit both things together. I think there are two different skills you'll need to quit gaming. First you need to be able to be okay with witholding instant gratification (this is what this detox is for). Second you'll need to find out what feelings evoked your gaming habits. I can't generalize but for me it is the case that if I dread something, I will feel the urge to distract me. Often this isn't concious and I only realise whats really going on if I feel the urge to play/watch youtube/porn. So my advice would be to watch yourself in situations you have urges and note down what you were doing. Over time and with some reflection you surely will find your own triggers. In my case I am working on feeling the dread and accepting that I am scared of not finishing or beeing not good enough. Acknowlidging it often helps. And if not I atleast know why I have to fight that urge again and can try to avoid or accept this situations in the future. Best of luck with your 90 days 🙂
  10. Thank you. Hope your still doing well Cam. It's only the 2ond one though 😉.
  11. Introduction Hello, my name is Mario. I was a member of this community from 2016-2018 and stopped writing here because it distracted me from my life. My main problems were online games like Dota2 and LOL. I use gaming as a distraction from negative feelings. I am good at focusing so this worked well at first. But over time it became an automatic pattern with bad consequences. It led to me failing at university and in my relationships. My gaming time at university was the worst in my life. After I stopped playing games things got better. I finished university more or less successfully. After university, I found a good first tech-job. Recently I changed jobs into another way better-paid tech-job I enjoy. I also am a happy father of a 2,5-year-old and expect another son in the mid of July. Besides all the challenges a new child, a new job and live in general provides, everything went well. But lately, I started to watch more WC3 footage on youtube. Then I watched hearthstone footage. Finally, I played Hearthstone instead of working. Immediately my world began to crumble. I started to dislike my work. I was stressed. My wife said I was absent and unfriendly. Then I pulled the trigger and told my wife about my slip and stopped gaming. This worked for a few days but then I had another setback, as I had a challenging time and couldn't resist dropping into Hearthstone again. I uninstalled it this Monday and am back on track. Gamequitters worked for me in the past and that is why I will write here about stuff that challenges me and game-related urges for the next 90 days. I probably won't write on not working days. But we'll see how it turns out. Happy to be back. Thanks to all creators and contributors of this community.
  12. Hey this sounds really troubling man and i am sorry you are going through this. This way of thinking is your mind and body screwing you. The only thing you can do right now is not killing yourself but reaching out for help. Family, friends or even better professional help like a suizide hotline. People will help you and you deserve to be helped.
  13. Date Friday 15.08.2018 Thoughts The reality of others is important. Be always sure you at least get a feel of how the people around you see the world. What are their goals? What are their motivation? How do they assess you? Use outside perspectives on you to improve you weaknesses. Thankfulness I could work in a soulless cubicle. I could have no freedom. I could be to scared to learn new things. I could ahve no money forbooks. Live is great! Goals I will earn 8k+ more money next year Get leadership position as a mentor for new members of the team. Become an expert in the user macro development Become an expert at the Java-API and Scripting Jira wiht teh help of Scriptrunner- Be the leading expert on our most important customer project and use above skills there. Management changed its plans. In retrospective I wasn't ready and quite happy tofocus more on my expertice
  14. Welcome back Zala. He was right. You had a success and a failure. You aren't unsuccessful. You are riding the waves and now it is time for things to look up again after a downwards spiral. Now things will be better and you will start to feel better with yourself again.
  15. Date Friday 13.07.2018 Thoughts I again said yes to a promising project at work. Now I need to focus on results that I can actually reach that 8k+ at the end of the year and have a lot of results to show for. Thankfulness We could be indebted. We could be without jobs. We could be without a support system. Things are great. I am thankful for that. Goals I will earn 8k+ more money next year Get leadership position as a mentor for new members of the team. Become an expert in the user macro development Become an expert at the Java-API and Scripting Jira wiht teh help of Scriptrunner- Be the leading expert on our most important customer project and use above skills there.
  16. Date Wednesday 11.07.2018 Thoughts I need to think about the death of people I love and loosing things I care about. Thinking about this makes me feel intensely grateful for the things I have. This is way more important then thinking about things I have and trying to feel gratitude or list them down. Have big goals for the future further away and smaller plans for the immediate future. Focus the view and do fucking great work now. Thankfulness My wife could die in a car accident. My son could die of sickness. My vitality could and will fade. My mind will be withering. My family will die. My job can go away. The field I am working in can become past. I am fucking greatful for having all this stuff and people in my life right now. Goals I will earn 8k+ more money next year Get leadership position were I can empower people. Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development still to much goals
  17. Letter 3 - On True and False Friendship Real friends are people you can share everything with that bothers you Be a real friend to yourself. self deceiving is sometimes necessary but it hinders you Live your live in a way that you could share it with your enemies without shame or fear Don't share openly everything that bothers you with people who aren't your friends (yet) Choose your real friends wisely and only make them real friends (what means you share with them everything) if they are good for you. There is no hard line between aqquaintances and real friend. Trust trustworthy people more and untrustworthy people less but don't trust nobody or everybody. It is a scale not to fractions
  18. Date Saturday 06.07.2018 Thoughts Chat ruins productivity but enhances team feeling over distributed workplaces. I need to focus one hour a day on one important but not urgent thing without distraction. Journalling will help me to know my strengths and weaknesses better which will allow me to use my weaknesses as strengths. Thankfulness Books, Family, My Wife who found an appartment closer to my workplace which will give me an extra half an hour everyday where I don't ahve to commute. Goals I will earn 8k+ more money next year Get leadership position were I can empower people. Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development Become an expert at the usage of the development tools of Atlassian. TO MUCH GOALS
  19. Letter 2: On DIscursiveness Of Reading Don't do a lot of different things but instead focus on one thing. Finish a book before you start a new one. Great thoughts and great gains are reached through focus Discover many thoughts and focus on one every day. You are rich if you want what you have and poor otherwise.
  20. Letter 1: On saving time The only thing which is really yours is time. Don't fucking waste it. Time can be converted in anything: knowledge, money, connection, health etc. You are dying every day, the candle of your life is half burnt. You are rich if you have what you need. If you need less time you will be rich in time: that is why you need to focus. Focus first on effectiveness and only second on efficiency.
  21. Hi fellow gamequitters! I lately started to listen and relisten to a series which is a commentary and reading of Senecas Letters. I want to store profound knowledge or citations I get from this so I can reread it later. Maybe you can also benefit from this. I will edit this first entry to add one letter after the other one. This way we all can easily go to the first page and get all knowledge. If you want to listen to the same videos:
  22. Hey congrats at the two weeks. Not gaming helped to improve the realtionsship with my significant other too. A lot! ;)
  23. Date Saturday 23.06.2018 Thoughts We don't have coding expertise at work so I need to become the go-to-guy to everything relating to code. Senecas letters series from John Sonmez is awesome. I should write key points from every letter down where I look at them Thankfulness My awesome son, Youth, Modern Communication, my sister. Goals I will earn 8k+ more money next year I will pass my certification and study actively and effectively ACHIEVED Get leadership position were I can empower people. Become an expert in the cross section between confluence and front-end-webdevelopment Become an expert at the Java-API of the Atlassian tools and plug-in-development Become an expert at the usage of the development tools of Atlassian.
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