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Everything posted by Laney

  1. Ahh I see where you're coming from now, thank you for elaborating. I only read your most recent journal entry. I think that's a decent choice then for sure! Friendships should be easy, dependable and fun, not strained, hurting or awkward.
  2. That's some exciting progress, wow! Stoked for this coming year! I have three matters... First, the formatting of each section isn't the same everywhere. Posts and New Members are monthly posts and monthly new members, while Subscribers are total subscribers. I had to open the other monthly reports to make sense of the numbers. Labeling Posts as Monthly Posts or New Posts would help myself and probably others. Second, Respawn costs $47 and $27, but 10 purchasers at most equals $470. Where'd the other $140 come from? (610-470) Or, prices have been changing maybe that's why haha, I have a bad memory for numbers. Third, about the ConvertKit. Shouldn't we be paying $79 instead of $119? We have less than 5,000 subscribers, and since it will automatically scale with us there's no point to purchase it higher than our current email base unless you're sending more than ten emails per subscriber per month.
  3. Some of my friends enjoy taking girls to the same place as their first date. It allows them to compare the new girls to others, and I think it gives them a sense of comfort or control in a new/awkward situation. As you are already imagining issues with that date spot, this might not be the best idea for you. That one location seems charged with many feelings and you aren't in a place to detach from those to be 100% with a new person or be to be spontaneous in that spot. Also I'd encourage you to not label your self worth off of being single or in a relationship. "I'm no longer willing to be the king of "just-friends-land"." You've written it as a title. Earlier in your post you said you were comfortable with yourself, and I'm sure you are in many ways. Try to ask yourself why you're insecure about being single, and about your motives for wanting a girlfriend. I've been there, it was extremely hard for me to be motivated purely because of myself instead of because of wanting to impress and be good enough for the person I was dating. I still struggle with this, even, but now that I'm aware of it it's easier to work on things purely for myself instead of impressing others. It's similar to what your sister said, " When you're coming from a frame of giving love and value, you're happy whether the girl likes you or not because you're happy just being yourself."
  4. Welcome to the forums! I'm super glad you found us and are approaching this not just as quitting but as a way to enjoy life/get better. You want to know how I got here? The same way. Googled in exasperation about how to stop thinking of my games, and found Cam's vids. Literally life saver! Honestly for the first weekend/week I was resisting the whole idea but avoided video games nonetheless. Now here I am twenty days in PS: Fish eye lenses make every face look fun.
  5. The few examples on GameQuitters for gaming was about Cam's personal experience where he mentioned Counter Strike I think. Everyone's gaming experience is different and unique, and Cam has done a good job removing bias towards one type of gaming over the other. All of us can relate to the moral of the story: We are/were addicted to video games and want to improve our lives. While a few people here may not be into the same gaming as I was, in the end it barely matters because this forum exists to create a healthy community where we can be surrounded by people who believe in us and this whole process. You don't need to be into the same lifestyles to connect on this forum. One's approach to filling the void left behind from gaming might change, but I think the 60-Hobby-Idea's PDF covers a wide array of hobbies that plenty of us could find interest in. Edit: In response to the attachment felt to characters, a section about that or a weekly video could be beneficial? Not sure. To remove my attachment I gave away my special items in game, then uninstalled. I didn't count it as breaking my 90day detox since I felt it was something I needed to do to be rid of the game mentally. Kind of like cleaning the clutter in my room. I'm honestly still 100% attached to my characters in certain games. It hurts. I don't know.
  6. Hi Laney! Nice painting :D! You're friend is right about that, but there is something else you might want to think about too! Imagine your skill in painting if in the future you spent the same amount of time you spent playing online never-ending rpg's. Well, let's say a healthy amount of time. I don't know how much time one needs to practice each day, but imagine you spent at least 1 hour every day painting. That's 15 days of painting at the end of the year if you only do the bare minimum. If you spent 2 hours on each painting that is 182.5 paintings. That's a lot of practice, and "practice makes perfect". I don't know if painting is the same as drawing in this way, but in the beginning I've read quantity over quality is a better methodology. By that I mean, not totally finishing the process. IMO I need to get down the basics of drawing buildings in 2 point perspective before I jump into drawing the landscaping and learning how to shade and colour a building properly. Therefore if I just spend my time only practicing drawing buildings in a 2 point perspective, and then moving on to the next drawing once I finish the building to my liking I can get a lot more drawings in then if I took each one to the very end of the process. Thank you so much! I have even given this advice to others and hadn't connected it to painting lol. Today I'll try to go out and buy supplies to practice everyday with. Would you suggest joining an art class? My experience is zero, but it does seem enticing to learn to paint on my own and develop my own style. I've never composed anything.. Songs, lyrics, drawings. I fear I'll have no vision on my own.
  7. Thank you! Unfortunately I cannot take credit for the extreme contrast idea other than I picked this painting session specifically because of the contrast and deep golden red hues. I'm not that creative without a guide, but perhaps later I can compose an original painting when I figure out what works with my style.
  8. I'm reading the Power of Habit right now. It's been pretty motivational for me, understanding habits is helping me acknowledge and deal with bad ones that I have, and now I'm stoked to make new ones. Kind of cool understanding how the brain works and being in control of it even when experiencing a craving or urge. Stumbling upon a trailer or game can be the worst at the beginning. My fifth day I got a closed beta invite. Without a supportive friend I'd have installed immediately. Instead I deleted it and celebrated. But there is hope! I've noticed it's been easier now that I'm aware. I got this odd mixture of nostalgia, and disinterest/feeling turned off when people spoke of games this week.
  9. Made my first painting today with my cousin. It was her Christmas gift for us to paint together. I'm very surprised at what a two hour guided painting session can accomplish. I'll end this with a quote so we can all munch on what my friend told me, "You did this in two hours. Imagine what you can create if you spent four hours on a painting."
  10. That's awesome Tim. I've been in the exact same place where I felt i was investing so much and getting nothing back. Super excited that you made this decision! It's extremely liberating being here and being "sober". Welcome to the forum and I hope to see more of you. Day one go!
  11. Hey Corey! Nice to meet you. I love all your goals. Nature was a huge calling for me as a kid. It was so magical. I hope to recapture that mystery and awe soon, and to involve nature in my life more in general. If you start a journal be sure to post pictures!! Would be very interested in any journeys you go on, or animals that you see.
  12. Welcome mister! I'm glad that you've come to the forums this time around. Lurk or post we're still glad you're here, and I hope we can aid you!
  13. Uninstalling may be a good option, or moving your console to the attic, etc.
  14. Thanks Kortheo! I was diagnosed about two years ago actually. It's been a wild ride and most of the progress came from not blaming myself for failures. I'm on medication but... I've stopped going to a psychologist for therapy. I'm not sure why I haven't made another appointment, out of sight, out of mind I guess I'm not worried about the discipline, that can be taught to myself through good habits and medication, so I'm pretty on top of those now! I'm more so worried about my inability to find words and my inability to remember concepts clearly enough to describe them to others. Not sure if that can be fixed with medication. And yes I love ADHD as well, I think I bring a lot to the table as a friend, coworker or lover. But I can't show people with words that I do, I have to show them with my work and my actions and I hate that. I'm very sociable, I thought I'd do well in business and with friends. Turns out I just offend people more often than not because of how blunt and honest I am(every time I think I've learned good tact, I say or do something else bad). Anyway, progress with discipline is actually possible. Progress with my brain's recall is not. And instead of thinking about solutions (I have google why do I need recall? :P) I'm moping and upset with myself.
  15. Leechblock looks interesting. Honestly I'd block Reddit...it's what I spend most of my time on. Can you set certain times when it's allowed and when it's not? Also coool!! House planning time! If you have a down payment ready for the house, it will make it MUCH cheaper in the long term. So something to think about.
  16. That's funny, the higher counts in my opinion almost have lesser validity. I have to remind myself that they do understand where I'm coming from even if it's been a long time. I guess I'm okay either way, but I do have to go to my reddit account to see how many days it's been
  17. I forgot to post my finished product. They loved them! Made me super happy. Funny thing is they both bought me video games for Christmas. Smh haha. But I'm allowing myself rpg's so I'm actually pretty ecstatic. Won't play them for a while though. I am starting to get invested in this true detox from all games.
  18. Interesting. This brain fog I experience a lot, and forget things often (I have been diagnosed with adhd) but it could be from neglecting ourselves for so long our brain isn't functioning well. It's also known that depression causes brain fog, and I am most surely depressed atm. A bad bad mixture of gaming and depression. I'm really looking forward to it being gone! I'm trying this out(week three), and I'm glad you are too. I believe you can totally make it over this hump, I did and I'm about to graduate in Spring. I think I mostly did it from not gaming during school time, but then I was gaming during break and getting back into bad places before the next wave of classes which always made the beginning and end of the classes harder. As like you I went back when I was stressed or nothing else to do. I look forward to reading your journals. Welcome
  19. "Mate value" I love it. Fudge and fireplaces sounds like a holiday to me.
  20. Laney

    Tom's journal

    Whooaaa amazing! It's wonderful that you don't identify as a gamer anymore and have gone through this whole experience. Plus the fact you gratitude computer games at the end...I'M SO PROUD.
  21. I'm glad you're back, heck I'm very grateful actually that you came back and posted this. Seeing another go through the motions of relapse is really eye opening/humbling. I house a lot of shame and guilt when I make mistakes, and you coming back here not being afraid to be honest about your situation and continue to be yourself says a lot about this community and a lot about you. Onto how to prevent it and not having any goals, I only really know myself and I haven't even bought respawn yet. But I can say that watching Cam's videos helps remind me of why I quit in the first place. Instead of a big end game goal, since I can't really find one or decide on one, I'm starting small and focusing on making my new habits that will replace the gaming with better stuff (hah sorry I'll probably bring those up for a while because of The Power of Habit). This awesome video was posted on Reddit today, https://youtu.be/DaugRxMz7tw and it really shows what we're capable of if we just work on something a few moments every day. How are your guitar skills now?
  22. Day 14 Progress is a lot slower than I thought it would be. Work is really stressful because of a bad co-worker. I can't seem to do anything for myself. Only if it's for others do I have motivation. Zero will power for things I want to do specifically for me. I don't know how to fix this, I've been that way my whole life. I'm pretty sure it has to do with my ADHD. I am wonderful at tricking myself into doing productive things by involving others...But you can't always do that. How can I hang out with just me and have the will to do things?? I hate my brain. These are all things I want to do that dont include others: clean room(like reaaalllly clean it, throw out a bunch of clothes and get rid of objects I dont need and reorganize), exercise, make bad ass coffee in the morning, do my hair a specific way that I like, program/research an AR app, learn Japanese or German, learn how to paint, sing a reggae song at a local bar since they never have female singers on reggae night. Honestly I'm having a really bad day. I have bad self confidence because I lack the ability to articulate my ideas. I let people take over because I dont have the articulation to defend my approach and ideas in the moment, and I'm a very kind person who goes by the rules and wants to believe the best of people. I get stepped on by dominant people who don't follow the same moral ethics as my own.
  23. The gift was earrings for my sister that can be left in forever without bad things happening. Not the cheap $10 jewelry. And it was a bunch of women who kept it for me until the next day! Super sweet and grateful they were honest and saved it for me. The book is great, I went on a run with my parents dogs right after the first few pages haha. I plan on reading it more tonight. Definitely helping me approach this whole thing and invigorating me to be excited for the change. I dont have an exercise objective. Honestly healthy heart is the most important so probably cardio, second importance is decent muscle strength. But the heart truly is the thing I need to work on. Exercise hurts really bad when I stress my heart past its limits, my whole head aches including my jaw and neck. Maybe a physical before getting into this would be better? Been like that my whole life but it is possible to make it healthier. Back in cross country it would only hurt after sprinting to my limits, but now that I'm out of shape it hurts doing any exercise.
  24. Hey Alex! I just read through the past couple of days + the relapse post. You seem like you're in a place where you have no other goals/nothing else to do right now, so you're filling it with a game. Can you think of anything you'd like to get done or people you'd like to re-connect with from your past? Just going to get coffee/tea with someone is really helpful and inspires me to get more things done! I know it seems harmless but I am really excited for your possibilities and your future. I'm reading The Power of Habit right now and it has opened my eyes to be more aware of why I gamed and why I keep/kept going back to it. For us it's holiday time and we want to reward ourselves/have something to do over break because that's what we've always done, and everyone tells us it's OK. Heck your family is even giving you permission and wants you to game. That's pretty hard to deal with. I've met a few friends who don't understand and kept trying to convince me back. Anyway, managing the hours you spend sounds like a great idea to not let this get out of hand. The whole reason I came to this community was because I thought I could manage my online gaming and I went back and gamed after Finals were over and I could not manage it. Let us know how the rest of your days and goals go. Plus feel free to chat with me to discuss possible hobbies or ideas if you want, I'm sure it would help me too. And I quit only online games, not solo RPG's. I'm not addicted to RPG's and they don't suck me away like MMO's do. My point is that you may be capable of managing 'playing games' and continue being successful in your goals and still be interested in real life. Honestly that was the scariest part, being bored of friends, family and other things I'd normally be interested in. Just keep an eye out for signs, and be aware of your gaming.
  25. Hello Berry!! It's lovely to meet you, and I'm glad you're taking steps to make better habits outside of games. Reading became boring for me around your age as well, I think it's partially because my reading level was above young adult books, but all adult books were way too graphic for me. So I just lost interest and replaced it with games. Music is a great idea, and so is language! Just make sure to include people in your life who are doing the same things. You mentioned skype friends and Steam, your body will need replacement social interaction to make up for the lack of those people. You might want to join a sport, a band or an after school/weekend club. Once you pay more attention to the people around you you'll get better at involving them in yours and vice versa. Hope you come back here sometimes
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