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games_be_gone

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About games_be_gone

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  1. Great job with the pictures, hahaha. Reminds me of the PUA training challenges I used to do back in the day. In retrospect, while the PUA community may be a place where you find a lot of crap, doing stuff like this actually works. I might pick up the GQ membership just for the challenges alone... need to save up, though. My pockets are extremely shallow as a college student
  2. Wow, I just went through and looked at your artwork... amazing. I used to paint as a kid, and I regret giving it up because it 'got boring'... aka gaming was more fun. Keep on painting! Good luck on the date as well With non-fiction I prefer my Kindle because I can easily re-read passages, jump to footnotes, and see the illustrations. Fiction is something I usually read when my hands are busy (doing chores, buying groceries...) or before falling asleep. +1. I'm not big on audiobooks (I do a lot of podcasts though) but I love kindle for non-fiction. Also great for looking up technical terms you might not know on the fly. I've also recently started reading fiction before bed, and I think that's a great way to go. As Tim Ferriss puts it, reading fiction is a good way to wind-down the analytical, problem-solving part of your brain that's been going all day. Ahhh, I need to read fiction. As a person/reader, I am overly analytical, and reading anything other than nonfiction is really difficult. I used to love to read fiction as a kid, and still remember random crap from harry potter books because of how many times I have read each book... Anyone have some recommendations?
  3. Hmm, well to be honest, it's hard to say whether or not gaming had an impact on my GPA... at least directly. I'm starting to feel it might not have been the actual act of gaming itself, but the things that I tried to use gaming as a crutch for: anxiety, depression, inability to focus on work, feelings of apathy towards the idea of school, etc. It was a mask for issues that needed to be addressed head on, rather than swept under the rug. High school: Mostly B's, a few A's, one C and one D. I think I came out with like a 3.4/4. College: 2.3 GPA. I'm clearly doing worse, and I play more because I have the freedom to. At the same time, the things that I used gaming as a crutch for in high school may just be more prevalent now that I have more responsibilities. I think it's important to note that you're kinda forced to go to class in high-school. Even though you may not study much at home because of video games, you still have to show to class regularly, and that's better than not going at all (college allows this). 1. I would say that overall, it negatively impacted my grades. I could have definitely done better if the time spent playing video games and procrastinating was used for studying or improving myself. 2. My teachers didn't know about my gaming habits. A few of them did know about depression, though.
  4. Day 9/10 Wooo, I hit day 10! And finally, some good news: I didn't get kicked out of college, though I am on probation again. This was such a huge relief - I was already thinking of elaborate schemes to keep all this hidden from my parents. I would have had to secretly gone to a community college, taken online courses, and hidden this from pretty much everyone in my life. Definitely not something I needed on top of all the stress in my life at present. Now the bad news: my cravings have been getting really bad. I had a dream last night that I was the main character of The Witcher 3 (Geralt). This was the game I played for a few weeks, non-stop. The really annoying thing is that I tend to just sit there and get frustrated with myself, rather than do something else. If I try to do something else, something productive, my mind just refutes it. This happens especially at night, and I feel like my mind is just all over the place, and needs a sedative like video games. Now I really see how gaming was just a crutch, not only for fear, anxiety, but also my over-active mind. Not much I can do until I go in for neuropsychological testing, which won't be for a few more weeks. Reading has been kinda difficult, because I tend to forget what I just read, or my mind begins to wander, so perhaps I need to change strategies, and start exercising multiple times a day. This is easier said than done, but I definitely can see myself performing much better after having done some light cardio 3x a day. I'm actually thinking of investing in a nice bike that I could take with me to college - the one I have now is extremely run down, and needs some serious maintenance. I've been into biking as a kid, and for a while in high-school too. I could definitely see myself getting a bit more serious about it. It's good exercise, can be a relatively cheap hobby (depends on what you want I suppose), and it's something that I enjoy. Some takeaways from the first 10 days The first 5 days were easy. It's as if my brain didn't realize video games were going awayThe next 5 days were progressively harder. I expect it's going to be an up and down cycle for a while, but once I pick up more things to do, and start improving my life in general, it's going to get easier.It's easy to say you're going to commit to x,x, and x. It's much harder to make those changes in your life, however. I think I might try introducing one new habit at a time, at least for a month or two. That being said, I have decided I'm going to try and meditate twice a day, for 30 days. Rather than read a book every day for 30 days, or exercise every day for 30 days, I think meditating on a consistent basis can open all of those doors for me at the same time, or at least make it a lot easier to pick up those habits.
  5. I have adhd-primarily inattentive type. The best thing to do if you think you have it is to get tested. I did eight hours total over three to five sessions, and the results were very eye opening (they test for other learning disabilities too) as well as gave me something to hand to psychiatrists if I move away, to instantly continue treatment instead of explaining myself and trying to be re diagnosed/fighting them. I've finished the human solo portion of the book, not sure if I'll read the corporate section. It was hard to get through but the different examples made sure people of different interests and backgrounds could understand, relate and make connections. Yeah, it might cost a bit and be a bit of a time investment, but I think it's worth it. - already set up an appointment. I'm getting tested for other learning disabilities too, might learn a bit about myself! I'm just a little worried because I'll be going back to school on the 18th, and I'll probably have to travel back and forth, which is a hassle.. Unless they can test me all at once, that would be great. I never thought about this... interesting idea, I could definitely see it working. I often find myself shifting around in my seat, or unable to sit still after some time, and I always feel the need to get up and walk out of the room to grab a glass of water or something like that. I find that usually I don't enjoy spending too much time in one place. Truth me told, I don't leave the house too often, this could be a good change in more than one way.
  6. It's been a while since my last post, but I got really caught up with managing some school stuff, and figuring out a few other things. Day 6,7,8 I think I'll just go ahead and combine the days I missed, and try to sum things up in one post. One thing that has bothered me the most is the brain fog I've been experiencing. I am sure gaming has influenced the way my brain works, but I also believe I might actually have undiagnosed ADHD-inattentive type (more commonly known as ADD). This came into mind a few days ago, when I discovered ADHD-inattentive type, of which I was previously completely unaware. Most people only know about the hyperactive type, which is the one that is easy to identify. At first I thought there was no way this could be true... I'm just looking to justify my laziness and academic performance. But I sat down with my parents, and showed them the symptoms before I even told them what it was I think I had. They agreed that I exhibited all of them not only in high school, but as a younger child, and the story seems to make perfect sense. I know self-diagnosis is bad, but I really feel like I have some solid reasoning here. What really got me convinced is that I have had experience in high school with depression, in particular dysthymia, which is a form that manifests itself over a longer period of time, and can go un-noticed. Coincidentally, dysthymia is most commonly either misdiagnosed (ADHD is usually the true culprit), or it accompanies ADHD, so I decided perhaps it's best to get that checked out, and see if I may have some underlying issues that need to be addressed by a professional. This semester was the first time I haven't felt depressed - I actually felt really happy! But the problem is that the brain-foggyness, and other mental fatigue issues that accompany depression remained, despite my good mood. Could be nothing, but who knows. Some things I noticed over the past few days: I have a strong urge to game when bored, and it seems to get worse over time. I found myself just drifting off into space while coding, and then felt the urge to go and play video games. I actually imagined how good it would feel to play video games. Thus far, this was the closest I had gotten to giving in to the temptation.I sometimes feel as if I don't like getting challenged, or give up to easily, and crave low-effort, high stimulus activities. Sort of talked about this in my last post, but I feel like this is a very common theme for me, and I need to overcome this one way or another to progress further.I am very curious, and might ask the psychiatrist whether it is possible/probable for addictive gaming might cause ADHD. The symptoms of gaming addiction actually seem to overlap with those of ADHD... makes me wonder whether we really know much about the human brain at all. One thing that I will start incorporating into my daily routine is journaling in my notebook, which is something I used to do that helped me get through depression. There really is something different about putting down your pen on paper, writing thoughts down as they come/go, and being able to re-read everything at the end of the day. It's also quite relaxing, and for some reason I just like the idea of being able to flip back a few weeks to see how far you've come.
  7. I actually read the power of habit a few years back! The one problem I had with it is that it had a large amount of 'fluff', and could easily have been shortened to a 50 page book. Though the stories were inspiring at first, they tended to get quite repetitive. Oh yeah, it's super-interesting! Especially that one case where some guy forgot everything he had just done every 5 minutes or so, and relied on habit to get him through his day. I feel you on that closed beta invite. I worry for when Overwatch gets released - I was really looking forward to the game, and I wonder if it might tempt me to relapse back into my old ways... I think by that time I'll have had enough days behind me to be able to resist such temptations. Thanks! I will definitely check that out - despite brain fog, I find that I am able to still enjoy reading books! I can definitely see that as well. Just by changing my pre-bed habits (avoiding screentime) I find myself getting better sleep, and feeling more relaxed/focused.
  8. Yeah, no doubt! I need to get myself to commit to it. I can't even imagine how much the quality of my life would improve if it turned into a daily habit. I have a really hard time committing myself to something for a longer period of time - any good books/resources I could look at for habit building?
  9. Day 5 Missed the entry last night because of New Years. I spent the day programming, read a book, did some chores, and then spent new years with the family. I noticed this morning that my urge to game is getting stronger. I was watching movie trailers for 2016 movies, and accidentally stumbled upon a game preview/cinematic by the guys who made Gears of War. Big fan of Gears of War, so I started getting psyched about this release. I caught myself, and immediately turned off the trailer. It's starting to get a lot more tempting now, but I'm going to be keeping myself busy. Besides, even if I wanted to, there's literally nothing I can play - my Steam/Battlenet accounts have been given away, and I've removed pretty much anything else. Just need to make sure I don't torrent anything out of impulse... but I think I'll be OK.
  10. I am definitely starting to notice my physical surrounding more. I was thinking of getting back into meditation as well! And I find that I am able to focus on non-gaming things for longer periods of time now. Gotta keep grinding! It seems many gamers report the 'fog'. I'm going to give it time, but if I still find myself unable to focus, I may have to get checked out. Though, chances are I would have been diagnosed with ADHD at this point, but I'll worry about this later. I also have years of experience with depression. Sometime around my Junior year of highschool is when I first noticed, and I've had episodes up to about a year ago. I highly recommend you go see someone, if you haven't already. I finally managed to get out of my long-term depression (4 years) after taking meds for a few months, combined with taking vitamins, exercising, hydrating, increasing my exposure to sunlight, etc. I also read a ton of self-help/inspiration books that helped shape my mindset for the better. I can totally sympathize with the gaming - it definitely kept me afloat in high-school, and sort of kept the depression off my mind. Grats on week three, and grats on your upcoming graduation :-)!
  11. Got super busy, so I accidentally skipped the post for day 3! Day 3 Not really much to say about that day, though I can't remember much, just the usual. I was taking a rest day from the gym, and spent the entire day programming. Day 4 Another day programming - I'm starting to really enjoy this again. I never seem to get bored of it... frustrated occasionally, as I am relatively new to backend development/the framework I am using (Laravel). I think I may actually be a bit addicted, which worries me, because it makes me wonder if I may be too attached to screens in general. I notice that I don't really feel like socializing much - I'm so focused on finish the project I'm working on, that I don't really care about keeping up with friends or socializing. I think I need to keep an eye on this obsessive behavior. I think if I learned to channel it, or spread it out over multiple areas of my life, it would benefit me much more. I also read into 'programming addiction', and I find it funny how many programmers consider themselves addicted, yet nobody really tells them anything because they're doing their job, and they are just passionate. Programming has a stereotype about it that you have to spend 10-12 hours a day programming if you're a professional in the field. It's usually your daytime job, and also a hobby. To be honest, I don't mind it at all - it's something I am good at, and I don't mind putting in the time, knowing I could be making good money years down the road. Though, I do wonder if anyone has performed studies on the effects of programming for longer periods of time, and whether or not people develop serious addictions. If this is possible, which I'm sure it is, I wonder how it compares to gaming addiction, and how it should be handled. Today, I also noticed a big flaw of mine: my need for immediate gratification. While I have the ability to think ahead, I don't necessarily have the discipline to commit to something that takes a longer period of time to reap the rewards. This would explain why in the past I have given up exercising after being into it for maybe a month at a time or so. I wasn't getting the results as fast as I wanted, and therefore I lost interest. Gaming was just so much more convenient, because of the constant feedback loop, continuous progress, etc. And, quite frankly, it was just easier than doing things that require more brainpower or effort, like programming or exercising. Gaming Urges I did notice a larger urge to game today, probably because I've been deprived on my former means of immediate gratification. Nothing serious, and I waved it off, but worth noting. I suspect in the coming days, it will start to get more challenging. With day five, I'm going to write up a bit more structured journal entry. So far so good!
  12. @Cam Adair I ended up downloading f.lux last night- really cool! Makes it a lot easier on the eyes. I'll check out the Focus book next. Day 3 Today was an interesting day. Last night I decided to go out with my friends last minute, and had a few drinks. That was probably the first time I had seen someone other than my family living in my house for over two weeks. Prior to that, I was just hermiting it out with some video game. It was a little bit weird - I didn't really feel like I was having a ton of fun, though I did appreciate it overall. It's just going to take me some time to get used to hanging out and talking to people during my free time, rather than sitting behind a monitor. One thing I did notice today was that I started to have that weird feeling that something was wrong, or that something was missing. An interesting trigger I discovered today was my parents leaving the house. My parents would usually call me lazy if they saw me playing video games, so I would generally do it in secrecy. I always felt a relief when they left for a bit, because it gave me a chance to play without consequences. So today when I heard them leave, I actually felt that sense of relief, and realized that I would normally be playing a game right now. I even went as far as imagining myself playing, but never actually acted on the urge. I spent most of the day programming, and am happy because I have gotten more work done in the past 24 hours than in three weeks (likely because I am no longer spending all my time playing video games). I still find that I have that general feeling of brain-fogginess, and my attention span is really poor. I find myself drifting off quite often, and I seem to forget things a lot. It's a little bit annoying, and a little scary how 'brain fried' I was when playing video games, and how it affects me days later. I wonder how long it might take to get back to a normal level of functioning. I went to the gym around noon, watched a movie when I came back, and it was back to the programming again. After I post this, I'm going to grab a book and unwind. Not much in plan tomorrow, other than code/gym. I think in the coming weeks I am going to focus on socializing more, seeing as my social life has definitely plummeted in the past few months. So far so good!
  13. I decided to copy and paste some of my introduction as it provides a pretty good background of my addiction. I'll probably update this more as time goes by. Video games have been a big part of my life, in the sense that I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on them. Ever since I was around 5-6, I started playing video games. In the past, it wasn't really so much of an issue. I maintained good grades in elementary/middle school, and got into a good highschool. After that, things began to slip. I did the bare minimum in highschool, while gaming whenever I could. I'm talking about 10+ hour marathons on weekends, and 16 hours/day in the summer. Gaming was a form of escapism for me, and an excuse that prevented me from socializing in my early years. On top of that, I developed low-grade depression (a form of depression spanning a period of several years), and a pot addiction my senior year of high school. I ended up stopping smoking pot completely, and am clean for about a year and a half now. Freshman year of college was really rough on me. I failed all my classes first semester, and fell into depression again. I ended up being prescribed anti-depressants, and found I felt much better coming in the second semester. My second semester was slightly better, but I again failed one class that I retook this semester. This semester, things are pretty bad. I went from having a 2.2 to 2.0 cumulative GPA, and failed my academic probation by getting a 1.9 GPA this semester (close to my required semester GPA, but not quite there). I'm up for review to get kicked out of the University - there is a good chance I will be placed on double probation, but no guarantee. I have to wait until the beginning of January to hear back from my advisor/the school board. I seem to be a bit more fortunate than many in the sense that despite having greatly influenced by video games, I still have decent social skills, and am in a two-year relationship. My problem is more that I start to binge when things get too stressful . This binge is generally triggered when I find that I'm too stressed out, and I naturally turn to video games, which numb me out a bit. I go from playing a few hours a day, to not leaving my room or skipping lecture. As an example, I started off this year doing fairly well. However, when things got a little too stressful, I picked up gaming again as a form of escapism. I played The Witcher 3 for 12 hours a day or so, and began to indulge in other games, such as LoL, SC2, and CS:GO. I withdrew socially, and stopped attending lecture/studying as much as I should have. I missed important deadlines/assignments, which really screwed up my grades. But none of that seemed to matter when I was playing video games. As finals rolled around, I felt mentally fatigued (no doubt because of the video games and screwed up sleep patterns), and sort of gave up. I have decided it is time to move on, and get my life back on track. Rather than trying to limit my game time, I think it would be much better if I quit altogether. Day 2 Well, this is technically day 2 of my 90-day challenge. I find that I didn't really have any urges to play thus far. I consider myself lucky because I have a job as a backend developer to keep me busy until school starts. The biggest problem I have right now is keeping myself focused on doing one thing at a time - I find myself fidgeting a lot, and it really makes me wonder if I may have ADHD or something. I imagine this is simply withdrawal from the level of stimulation I was experiencing when I played video games. I can read about 15 pages or so of a book before my mind starts to wander, which sort of bothers me. I also find it really difficult to do more complicated development tasks, which is slowing me down a bit. Hopefully this passes soon. My sleeping schedule is another problem - I find it impossible to go to bed before 3AM or so. I suppose this makes a lot of sense, considering I would often find myself gaming until 5 in the morning, sometimes 7, which is insane. On a positive note, I went to the gym today for the first time in weeks. I felt like puking afterwards - I could barely do three minutes of cardio, and my lifts really went down a ton. I need to start drinking more water, and eating healthier. That's about it for now... I am definitely going to look around and read other people's journals for some inspiration, and maybe ideas as to how I should format my journals. Hopefully everyone else is doing well
  14. Mark from Chicago here! This is my first time ever trying to quit video games. Video games have been a big part of my life, in the sense that I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on them. Ever since I was around 5-6, I started playing video games. In the past, it wasn't really so much of an issue. I maintained good grades in elementary/middle school, and got into a good highschool. After that, things began to slip. I did the bare minimum in highschool, while gaming whenever I could. I'm talking about 10+ hour marathons on weekends, and 16 hours/day in the summer. Gaming was a form of escapism for me, and an excuse that prevented me from socializing in my early years. On top of that, I developed low-grade depression (a form of depression spanning a period of several years), and a pot addiction my senior year of high school. I ended up stopping smoking pot completely, and am clean for about a year and a half now. Freshman year of college was really rough on me. I failed all my classes first semester, and fell into depression again. I ended up being prescribed anti-depressants, and found I felt much better coming in the second semester. My second semester was slightly better, but I again failed one class that I retook this semester. This semester, things are pretty bad. I went from having a 2.2 to 2.0 cumulative GPA, and failed my academic probation by getting a 1.9 GPA this semester (close to my required semester GPA, but not quite there). I'm up for review to get kicked out of the University - there is a good chance I will be placed on double probation, but no guarantee. I have to wait until the beginning of January to hear back from my advisor/the school board. I seem to be a bit more fortunate than many in the sense that I have decent social skills, and am in a two-year relationship. I noticed my case is a little bit different than most people's - rather than consistently playing over the past 5 years, I binge for periods of a few months. This binge is generally triggered when I find that I'm too stressed out, and I naturally turn to video games, which numb me out a bit. I go from playing a few hours a day, to not leaving my room or skipping lecture. As an example, I started off this year doing fairly well. However, when things got a little too stressful, I picked up gaming again as a form of escapism. I played The Witcher 3 for 12 hours a day or so, and began to indulge in other games, such as LoL, SC2, and CS:GO. I withdrew socially, and stopped attending lecture/studying as much as I should have. I missed important deadlines/assignments, which really screwed up my grades. But none of that seemed to matter when I was playing video games. As finals rolled around, I felt mentally fatigued (no doubt because of the video games and screwed up sleep patterns), and sort of gave up. Thanks for reading! I'm on day 2 of the 90 day challenge, and am about to go start a journal.
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