NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
BigPete247
-
Posts
278 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by BigPete247
-
-
Hey Zala, BigPete here, srry about your relapse. It's not about getting knocked out, its about getting back up after getting knocked down. -Mike Tyson
-
18 Aug 17
Days to go: 241
I agree @Cam, I have come a long way. I set my 'benchmark' or 'comparison point' as 4 years ago in 2013, as I had a massive epiphany on what I was doing with my life and what I wanted to achieve for the rest of it. Prior to that point, I was a jerk and I hate reflecting on how I acted and how I treated people. Fast forward to now though, and I get frustrated that I allow myself to 'relapse' so often. I get it is a slow process with speed bumps in the road, I just wish it was fast enough that it stops resulting in people avoiding me or thinking I am 'difficult'. I'll keep plugging away at it like the little engine that could. What I have been telling myself after your post is that even if I can't develop it fast enough to get to where I want to be in life, at least I can develop enough that I can have a positive impact on my son's life and put him in a good place mentally that he can make a name for himself. That's the meaning of parenthood (and/or life) right? So deep for first thing in the morning
@Mettermrck it might be different in the big US of A, but there was a phase down under where it was either made illegal or discouraged to take leftovers home. This was because there was a lot of debate about allergies and/or food poisoning due to not putting any nutritional value on the box or having a mark on it to say when it was made. Either they have gone back to allowing people to do it and take the risks in their own hands in the last few years, or I have just started asking again after all this time. Either way it is awesome, and I like it. I know there was another movement to box up your leftovers and give it to homeless people, or maybe that's the movement that caused the concern. In the US surely that would be a big thing, considering your serving sizes are so massive!
@BigPete247, I guess you don't get the name Big Pete if you didn't eat all of your dinner
Yesterday was another challenge. Thankfully I didn't get emotional about anything, just so much going on at work I started to crack at the edges. Luckily I had my study afternoon so I was only there for half the day. I did get a few calls trying to get me to go back into work but I held my ground. I don't want to set a precedent that my study hours are not compulsory and not negotiable, and besides I was two weeks behind on what I needed to do. This morning I got up early as usual and went straight to my notes and readings rather than coming here or surfing the web. That's definitely the way to do it, early in the morning, don't touch the phone or any other websites other than the university, minimise distractions. Get that flow on. As a result I submitted my discussion points for this week, it took me until Friday but at least they are in. They aren't perfect but it should spark some discussion and I will add to it tomorrow morning before my run.
I feel like gaming is starting to edge itself back in my life which I am not quite happy about. I haven't started playing games again but I have found myself doing a bit of reading about Hexen/Heretic. It's a rabbit hole, it started with me talking to colleagues about selling my xbox, which that started a debate of what would happen if we wanted to get together for a LAN or to game together online, which lead to a discussion about Doom and how it runs on anything, even a Raspberry Pi, and that it's requirements are so low it should work on crappy (phone) connections. Now that has lead to me reading about the Doom engine, the breakthroughs it made, and what other games used the engine, thus we reach our point of Hexen. I guess what is making me dwell on it is nostalgia for when I played the demo as a kid. I won't allow myself to fire it up though, as I keep thinking back to the Getting Things Done podcast by Asian efficiency. They compared Ramsey's quote of "every dollar has a job" to productivity, saying "every hour has a job". Every hour does have a job, and there is only 168 of them in every week so I need to make sure I am using them all to further what I actually want to achieve; like studying, running, and family. I don't group work in the "big 3" as it's a facilitator for those 3 right now. It will probably change in my next job where I want to impress so I can get considered for another promotion. If only I could start that job now, it would be great.
Grateful corner
Library services. I really think libraries are underrated, especially in 2017. They are more than just books, they are a quiet place to drown out the noise of the world, they are a place that people who don't have computers or a space to be productive can use, and importantly for me, they have 'educator' access to a lot of academic journals. I really hope they don't go by the way of the dodo and get phased out. I do need to spend more time in the one near my house if for nothing else to show my support for the service and everything they do.
Big Pete is my name, Clean Plates is my game, Doom actually started my gaming addiction when i was young, don't lose your edge in quitting @giblets.
-
Good thinking, Mettermrck, your slowly chipping away at you goal, please keep it up.
-
Definitely playing a game in a physical setting with other people is a great alternative to virtual gaming.
True, ever heard of Dance Dance Revolution, @HappyCat?
-
Oh, and welcome to the forums
-
It seems like you've had a really good day and might end up with a great friend. I think it's great you've met another veteran, since that is quite a big thing to have in common.
The fact that you shredded the magazine without second thoughts is really a good sign of your progress. I don't know the magazine, but I asume you've spent money on it, which could easily have made you hesitant. Instead you were strong and quickly got rid of it.
It's called Game Informers, it was a subscription that i signed up for a while ago under GameStop, it costs in store points and reloaded when the 12 months were up. As long as you have points on a ProRewards Card they give you similar rewards, but since i used cash mostly, im regretting it. Glad to get rid of it and be done with GameStop tbh.
-
Nice Vlad, see what did i tell ya, great job on not giving up.
-
Day 29: This Profile Pic Thing
I'm not sure how many realized, but my profile picture is my fanart of Elizabeth Comstock from Bioshock Infinite. I beat that game too many times that I lost count, and was able to complete it multiple times with various restrictions. Nobody cares, and people on r/StopGaming would argue that it is a waste of time to pursue virtual goals, but I honestly had a blast in every playthrough, so I don't care. It's GOAT in my book.
Oh, also someone in my class asked my thoughts about a new expansion. I just said "Oh, I hadn't played the game in a while" and changed the topic. Phew.
The girl on there was a little on the supernatural side, but nonetheless good you changed the topic, good luck in your schoolwork, Skaliq.
-
Day 7:
Well, still no heavy first day schoolwork to knock out but there are a couple lessons that we went over in class today, and some homework assigned by my English professor. Pretty easy, just have to do an autobiography on one of the 45th presidents of the 1700s, i think. Had some thoughts this afternoon about playing Forza Motorsport in class, i even had a dream about buying an Xbox and playing Forza from this morning, guess it must be the side effects of the detox.
But im not going to give in to those evil thoughts, im going to beat these 90 days no matter what. I completely forgot to cancel my Game Informer subscription that came in the mail today since i don't read them anymore, in fact, the first thing i did was throw it in the shredder, all 97 pages. I met up with this one kid in my class who was also a veteran and offered me help in my English 300 class.
I was surprised by this because usually i would be distant from new people in class on the first day to not be random. Now im laughing and joking with this guy, and it felt great. Really liking this detox thing, it allow me to be more comfortable talking to people.
UPDATE:
Just finished my Autobiography and now its time for a little Blind Commentaries on TV shows until tomorrow
I'm grateful for my computer to work and my homework to keep me busy.
-
I like the way you set your timetables up, keep it up
-
We got you eshi2000, don't give in to the games
-
17 Aug 17
Days to go: 242
So I got back on the bandwagon with running. Happy about that. Felt really good and I pushed myself further than I needed to run. There is a corner near my house which is exactly 8km away, and about 300m before I got to it the training app said to turn around, but I kept going to that corner. Going to try and aim to get there every day as a minimum, as I know when I first started the idea of that would have been insane. When I first started the half way mark used to be this foot bridge and I was always so proud to reach it that I would take a photo of myself. Now I run over the bridge and I am still warming up. Maybe that will be the same with this corner one day.
I am still letting my emotions control me. While I feel I am taking a few steps forward every day with it, I also feel like I am in the "two steps forward, one step back" regime. I get the gut feeling I have left this too late to control for it to not impact my professional life, but I must keep trying. Even if only my personal life reaps the benefits, then at least it's going to be productive.
Today is the third attempt at a study day, the last three weeks haven't really worked out because I have accidently planned things over the top of it, mostly meetings or travel. Not today. Today I will catch back up and get involved again in the online debate.
Grateful corner
Take home containers. Might sound lame but I am grateful that some restaurants let you take your leftover food home! When I am eating it the next day it brings back the memories of going out to dinner and the conversations that were had. Plus the food is always good and it makes me feel like I am being frugal
Good job @giblets, just like what @Cam Adair said, progress is progress your emotions can guide you to it if you have purpose. I never knew you could take home your plate after you finish in a restaurant. I eat too fast.
-
Awesome! Congrats, Pete!
Thanks @Vlad
-
Day 7
10.07am à
One week mark.
-woke up at 6am this time. Still waking up in the middle of the night but this time I didn’t feel I had to make some food again and went back to sleep soon after.
-Morning showers and light jazz café music while eating are very pleasurable. I am secretly an old person.
-Making lunch and breakfast is long enough to get me going. Heavy breakfast, light lunch. I have got to find something to graze on for the day. No oily fried foods in the morning or evening. Apparently these can irritate my stomach, I have grown up having terrible reactions to temperature changes and especially in autumn/spring time where it wasn’t uncommon to rush to the nearest as soon as I hopped out of the train station and stay in there for 30min+.
-I am still to some extent eating junk (KFC yesterday, leftovers will be for lunch :s). I have to stop eating freezer pizza. I might have some wild rice in the cupboard somewhere, I remember it was less heavy than normal rice. I’ll leave the attempt at paella for the weekend I think.
-Just finished clearing most of the last portion of my room. It is not a big room, just full of crap. 4 bin bags so far. My compass arrived and so did my cleaning stuff, cleaned the fan, must have been at least 1.5 years of dust on that.
-Next stop organizing the piles on my floor.
-then dusting off my ceiling, top of my wardrobe and curtains.
-move my stationary drawer nearer my table and clean that out too.
-oh yes I almost forgot, I finally put a latch on my door. Part of my mind seems at rest after that.
Nice short break, back to cleaning.
à10.28amà
à8.56pm
Oops. Welp at least I got the morning entry done.
time spent on computer: 3.5 hours.
Always feels good to clean up my room to keep the mind focused and relaxed
-
Day 11
Another day, another bunch of project tasks pinned down. I received some bug report which seems easy at first but actually requires to remade some out-of-the box functionality from scratch. So if any of you guys and girls are developers, please refrain from using massive closed frameworks. If you still do, be mindfual that closed framework are PITAs to work with if you need to do something it's not quite supporting.
Called my aunt to say her "happy birthday" but also ended up talking really long about family situation and irritationg of constant errands. She provided some insights into it and told me it would probably be easier in half of a year.
Confession: probably because I felt being pressured I bought tobacco today even thought I am very casual smoker. After I talked to my aunt and gave the situation a careful consideration I figured it's not that bad. For me it's hard to resist buying "little something" to myself on a day like this, but I should make it a habbit to just sit and relax with often mentioned tea and books instead.
Yep, better to have an outlet than a craving @HappyCat.
-
you're right @HappyCat, maybe i need to stop trying to think i'm right about everything because deep down i really don't know a whole lot about being sociable. The shyness is still there and i just got to live as respectable to myself as i can. Overtime, other people will understand and comfortably ask questions. I need to allow myself to think first then speak, so to not confuse people.
I'm just shy, i even get nervous when i get around my family because i'm afraid i might say the wrong things to them, even though I've been in the military it really didn't improve my social skills as i was training all day, sadly. But as far as high school, i regretted letting games get between me and keeping up with my friends once i moved out of Georgia 7 years ago. But its not too late to work on it.
-
WARNING: TRIGGER ALERT (VIDEOGAME TITLES MENTIONED)
Your comment makes me something to think about. I do have a cousin that wants me to play Rick and Morty videogame. I keep declining. I doubt I would play it even if I wasn't on detox.
When I was very young I was a very social gamer (I would game with real life friends) but as I grew older I became a lone gamer, MMORPG, Strategy Games, MOBAS. Always trying to achieve power by myself and only working together for greater benefit.
Sometimes while watching streamers, I would think "man, I wish I had a group of gamer friends like them". I rather not be a slave of videogames. I do believe that some videogames can be valuable for their interesting plot and helping developing our imagination. Games like Zelda: Majora's Mask, I don't regret a single minute of gameplay. The thing is this videogame has a very low replay value and I played it when I was a child.
Other games like MMORPG or MOBAS, I wish I never had known about them. MMORPG helped me develop a bond with real life friends when I was a teenager, developed my imagination a bit, but I would say definitly not worth it. MOBAS are pure chaos, they are like the pornography of videogames, the worst.
A couple of years ago I read about a game that would make me feel like Zelda MM, it's called Child of Light. The thing is I'm not a child anymore and I actually thought it would be better if I get those kind of videogames as a gift for my young cousins or nieces. I just don't feel compelled for those videogame adventures, I rather fix and improve my life, stop daydreaming and actually achieve my goals.That's right, Daniel, games are nothing but the developers way of saying, 'i don't care how you play me, as long as you tell people you like this game, your just as dedicated to spend money gambling your life over reasoning'. And that's how you get sucked in IMO.
-
i know i jumped in late on your journal, as im still reading through most of you guys', and i have nothing to say but keep going in your life and let nothing stop you from achieving it.
-
Hello
Yesterday and today are very stressful.
I am very tired I came home from school half and hour ago.
I feel like I wanna procrastinate until tomorrow and recover from my tiredness.on the other hand I have to face another Hugh load of pharmacy stuff definitions terms cause and effect paragraphs already..
I'm afraid that it all is too much to handle.There are extremely high expectations and on some point I feel like quitting this training.
But now we have paid that money and yeah.. To be honest I am scared about the amount of work I have to put in for the coming exams.
I am scared about the pressure the teacher have with their expectations and how I fulfill to learn for exams without trying to game to relate the pressure made by the expectations.
I understand you @dirkj3, after i left the military going to college was intimidating to me, being around young people, all more mature than me and enjoying life. Being in a new environment, i didn't know what to expect. It was different from high school, more exams, higher expectations, weekend studying, i didn't take the steps to prepare and i faced a lot of pressure down the road. Like someone told me, the best thing to do is to be brave and just do what your heart feels is right, it helped me out 2x as much and reduced my stress. Good luck on your schooling @dirkj3.
-
Day 6: Just got out of my psychology class and about to head to my next in a few mins. Sometimes i feel like my life is confusing and nobody understands me when i say nothing about how my life has changed. Why? I guess like they say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you have social anxiety? If you do, people around you probably don't understand this state of "portable hell" and if they are non-gamers quitting doesn't mean much to them. It will get better after some time, do you have some hobby with friendly society around it?
Well @HappyCat, i just got into an argument with my dad about why i don't listen to anybody or tune out people, that's a problem i run across nearly everyday and idk what to do or say to fix it, its like being in a losing battle with myself, i never think for nobody but myself and i never been in a sociable environment except through gaming on big MMOs like ESO online, nobody cares on there its just like getting into school, either your with the in crowd or the out crowd. I'm also trying to find a school organization that i want to get into, something that slightly fits my major.
-
I can relate with the gaming, once you spend your first $60 bucks on RPGs, theres no going back. Glad to have you onboard.
-
You'll get there, Pete. It's a process...you're quitting games, your brain is confused without one of its big emotional supports, and it can feel insane sometimes. I tried to trust the process and ignore the emotions and physical withdrawal. It will get better even if it doesn't feel like that now.
Yeah, i agree @Mettermrck, letting go of gaming is one thing i gave up sadly but i threw down almost $2000 on games, i cant get that or my friends back, so its time to move on. Im going to start fresh with one thing im grateful for everyday to alleviate the negativity from my journal.
I'm Grateful for school and my family pushing me forward to success
-
Day 6: Just got out of my psychology class and about to head to my next in a few mins. Sometimes i feel like my life is confusing and nobody understands me when i say nothing about how my life has changed. Why? I guess like they say, ignorance is bliss. It might be me though, maybe im just not expressing myself enough to make others believe me when i say ' im trying to get somewhere' maybe im just being ignorant and self-centered towards others or theyre making me think that, idk anymore. Gaming used to be my passion but i had so many people punch me in the face about it, i had to make a decision, quit or stay in my comfort zone. I just dont know.
-
You're off to the races, Pete, congrats on your success!
Thx mettermrck, seriously wouldn't have made it if I didn't quit playing
90 day detox take 2
in Daily Journals
Posted
Need to, after watching Saving Private Ryan several times, i think its time to watch another famous war movie. Also, good job on not playing on your phone @CG EYE.