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Moe Smith

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Posts posted by Moe Smith

  1. "It's the right time to rethinking my life. Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. I'm going to quit this forum because games are not problem for me anymore. Thank you guys for all your encouragement. I want to live on 100%. That is exactly what i'm going to do. Maybe one day fitted in suit and having rolex watch on my left hand with that calm buddha smile I'll become slovakian Elon Musk. 

    Thank you! You are awesome."

     

    Good luck to you man! If you ever have something that you need help with, we'll be here. 

  2. Happened to me not too long ago. It was really helpful to remind myself of the things that I knew I could do well, and I spent some time doing those things. Helped me recover some of my internal courage. Take some time to heal, but if you need a little boost, maybe do some of that?

  3. Hey Bob, 

    I can only imagine what you're going through right now. But I want you to know a few things:

    1. You've got a brand new exciting life now that you've made these awesome changes, and that is truly amazing. You're in a infinitesimally small number of part of the population that has the will to change their life. 
    2. You're an awesome friend, and a good man. 
    3. You're not only changing your life, but you've helped to change mine as well. Not to mention I'm pretty sure that @Onlysoul, @Tom2@giblets, and many more could say the same thing. 
    4. You've got MAJOR power in your life now. I'm excited to see who you become later down the line as well. You're going to have outstanding success.

    Thanks for being such a great force for encouragement, determination, class, and friendship on here man. You're a cornerstone here dude. 

  4. DUDE!!!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!!! YOU FUCKING MADE IT BROTHER!!!!! 

    Damn proud of you man! I'm seriously stoked that you finished that first almighty step that we're all shootin for! :D I hope it feels like a victory, because making it that long when you're in the gaming funk so deep as we all were is nothing short of amazing! 

  5. Yeah I made my Facebook post when I re-entered school after my relapse. I had just about 2 weeks worth of detox under my belt. I wanted to let people know that I was going back and that I was different this time around. 

    Yeah the Ender's Game movie was very well done. It's my single most favorite book and they crushed it! Almost a prefect representation. :-D 

    Yeah you're totally right about my last relapse. This last time around I was able to form a few new thoughts that I needed. Add those to the new research I had from Cam about the effects on my brain and bam! I was hooked on NOT being hooked. It's been a great process this far. 

    And yes I do have downtime :-) Board games with the family, reading, cooking, writing my book, chatting for fun with my wife. All of these are nice ways for me to relax. That and the ice cream :-) I will never regret I've cream!

  6. We will be waiting for you when it's all done as your cheerleaders! I'd say go visual on us being in cheerleader outfits to keep you relaxed but you don't want to see @Moe in a skirt and pom poms.

    Hey! I would.... and have.... rocked the cheerleading skirt before! My highschool had a powderpuff game. Girls played, so the more daring of us guys cheered them on. I would definitely need to shave my legs though.... scary thought. 

  7. I tell you one thing. If I do have to move on, I'm leaving these addictions behind me in the trash. Dump gaming, soda, and porn in the can and slam the lid. I will never hurt another woman, or any relationship for that matter, like this again.

    Fuck yes! 

  8. Hey thanks man! That means a lot! I've slowly began to realize how much of an impact this change in me is having. My wife's happier, my daughter is happier, I even ran into an old friend that read my Facebook post at day 14 (I think), and said she watches less T.V. because of what I've accomplished! That was an awesome moment :D 

    I have read Shadow of the Hegemon before and it was pretty awesome. It's all about the rise of power from Ender's siblings. Very well done. Not quite as astonishing and groundbreaking as Ender's Game. Ender's Shadow is the Ender's Game story told from Bean's perspective and it's rather awesome. It gives me a much much deeper appreciation for who Bean is, why he mattered so much, and how he helped Ender. 

    The Dune book was awesome! I'm doing those in chronological order starting with the ones co-written by Kevin J. Anderson. It started a little slow, and was kind of disjointed, but overall it was great. I'm excited to get my hands on the second one. I'm all fired up from finishing the first book. DOWN WITH THE EVIL MACHINES! Hahaha

  9. Level Up: Game Free Day 29 (New Record)

    Hello friends! I survived my week of insanity! Let's see what happened in the last 5 days: 

    Helped my mom move and made $100: Check
    Went to my acting gig and made $100: Check
    From both activities above, work 32/48 hours for the weekend: Check
    Programmed my lab WAY beyond what the teacher was expecting: Check
    Got the response of "I want that app!" from the above teacher: Check
    Get 100% on last Friday's Paper: Check
    Get 100% on last Friday's Quiz: Check
    Write 3 pages in my novel: Check
    Get 100% on the largest assignment in my class so far: Check
    Get 95% on my midterm: Check
    Applied for a flexible student job at UPS: Check
    Got the gears moving to join a Business Incubator club at school: Check
    Got the gears moving for starting a Game Quitters club at my school!: CHECK!
    Called 16 apartments so we can hopefully move in 3 weeks: Check
    Spent time with my family all under the same roof again: Check
    Finished the first Dune book (The Butlerian Jihad): Check
    Made it 1/3 the way through my new book Ender's Shadow in a day: Check
    Ate lots (but never enough) ice cream: Check :D 

    So yeah. lots of crazy awesome things have happened in the last 5 days. It's been a whirlwind, and I am thoroughly exhausted from it all. Man this new life is something else. It's crazy, sometimes stressful, never dull, and my free time is so coveted and precious it's almost agonizing. There are some days that I wish I could just curl up, sleep, and drop all of my responsibilities like I used to. However, I find that when I face the responsibilities and I handle them appropriately, they stop bothering me and I don't have to stress out about them! It's like magic! Hahahaha. The feeling I was having of leveling out and not improving has washed away now. I've been riding a new high of kickassery, but I'm dropping a couple of things with my juggling act. I'm still building those muscles I guess. 

    Things are amazing right now. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life, and it's because I'm me without the games. The former gaming me was worthy of self loathing, judgments from others, and a mediocre life. Now, I'm worthy of a beautiful family, building my dream software company within the next five years, and finishing my eventual bestselling novel. Get out of the way Superman! You're slowin me down grandpa!

  10. Dude! That's awesome! I am so happy to see you repairing some previous damage. From my experience, it's always worth it to do that :) Also, my parents divorced when I was young, but they worked on their relationship even after it was finalized and they're best friends with each other still. And that's even after my mom got re-married. Not sure if there are kids involved with you, but the point I'm trying to make is even if a divorce does happen it's great to be able to still have a relationship afterwards. It can be extremely healthy. 

  11. Hahaha! Thanks to all 3 of you guys. I appreciate the chuckles at the end of my 21 hour day. And yes, that does mean I started my day at 1:30 a.m.! I'm so tired right now, but I'm alive, and my parents wouldn't have been able to finish their move in one day if I wasn't here to help them out. 

    Tomorrow, I still have the acting gig (I think... they changed the schedule so now it's way harder to make it), and best of all I get to see my wonderful, darling, amazing, passionate, beautiful wife tomorrow after not seeing her for a week! I'm so excited for that! It's gonna be great! :D

    I'm sure I'll have a lot of catching up to do when all this madness ends, but I'll read all your recent posts and get back in touch with you guys! Thanks for the constant encouragement!

  12. Level Up: Game Free 24 Days (New Record!)

    Ok, today I need to be brief. Things are good, just super busy! Today I had a quiz and a paper due, I'll be asleep in about 15 minutes (8:30 p.m.) so I can wake up at 2 a.m. to drive to the next state and help my mom move, I'll drive from about 2-7 a.m., then I'll get out of the car to lift things into amazing Tetris compactness in the moving van, then we'll move stuff to the next town over (about an hour away), unload everything and set the house up, repeat until done, then I'll likely sleep for a few hours, and come home to Salt Lake around 7 a.m. again, then I need to do some homework in the rare few minutes I'll have to myself, then I need to clean the house, then my beautiful wife should come home from week long vacation and I'll be so happy to see her, then at 2 p.m. on Sunday I'll start a 12 hour video shoot where I'm an extra, that will finish at about 2 a.m., then I'll come home, sleep for hopefully more than just a few hours, then I have to meet with with a lab partner at 12 noon on Monday to finish a code project, then at 6 p.m. on Monday I have a class where I have to turn in 2 different assignments that I've been working on, then I'm off at 8 from that class, I'll go home, see my wonderful daughter for 30 minutes(who's been at grandpa's house for a week with an out of town friend), then I'll sit on the couches with my sweet wife, kiss her until my lips fall off, then we'll go to bed, then I'll stay in that bed forever... or until I have to get up at 8 a.m. on Tuesday to take my daughter to class. 

    TL;DR

    HOLY BALLS! My next 4 days are FREAKING NUTS! I'm good, I haven't fallen off the path, but I would be surprised if you hear from me before next Tuesday. Cheers friends! 

  13. Ah!... I just realized something. I quit my non-gaming streak last time after about 20 days. Currently I'm feeling a little sluggish and like I don't have the momentum I had 10 days ago. Maybe 20 days is part of my endurance cycle. I'm just gonna push through and see if I can make it out of this slump. Fingers crossed that all I'm going through is that. 

  14. That's awesome! Sleep deprivation from gaming can be seriously damaging! One time I stayed up all night gaming, then had to drive 30 minutes to get to school. I fell asleep on the freeway and woke up a couple of seconds before I hit a large paint van! I made them do a 360 on the freeway. A super pissed Russian guy came out, but he calmed down really quickly once he saw how terrified I was. 

    No one got hurt, and the insurance and stuff was pretty minimal, but if it hadn't gone so well someone could have died!

  15. Ah! I'm back! I'm here! Present! Things are busy. Normal busy stuff plus holiday stuff for the last 2 days. 

    Level Up: Game Free 22 Days (New Record)

    I think the new record of me not gaming started yesterday, but just to be sure I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. But today I shall! As far as I can remember, I have never not gamed for 22 days straight before! And certainly not with quitting porn, t.v., and alcohol at the same time. That's pretty cool. My dad told me he was proud of me last night as I was catching him up on my process. That was pretty fantastic since I'm pretty sure he's been disappointed in me for a long time. But non-gaming Morgan isn't a disappointment! Woo!

    I'm having some struggles right now. I'm being productive still, and my days are still good. But I feel like I'm slipping.... or rather coasting a little right now. Like I should be getting a lot better at things, but right now I've started to level out and not make much progress anymore. That's probably due to several things, my family is out of town so my sense of normalcy is off, my sleep schedule is completely whacked right now, and I'm super stressed about money and that's detracting from my focus on school.

    Hopefully I can screw my head on straight here in the next few days. That would be nice. Haha.  

  16. Hell yeah man! Super stoked for you and that you got the job after a year long process! That's so cool! :D You should definitely celebrate and get some good time for yourself. It looks like my little two-day no show on here coincided with yours as well. :P Sounds like you've got tons of things going for you right now!

     

    You've mentioned your morning routine a few times before, I currently don't have a good one other than Wake up, get the kid ready for school, take her to school, start my day. What do you usually do? Got any tips for getting a new process like that started?

  17. Level Up: Game Free 19 Days

    Oh man, 19 days. I remember when I was going from through my first week, and that it felt so long before I was able to increase the number of days it had been. Now it just seems like they are FLYING by. 

    It's a good day so far. I woke up with my daughter snuggled up to discover that my daughter had woken up, crawled into bed with me, and decided to snuggle me. That was cute :)Then we made some breakfast (cereal, "made" lol). Then we got dressed for the day, called my wife to say "Good morning," and played a silly Pokemon based board game. Then her Papa (bio-dad) came to pick her up. Now I'm looking to clean my kitchen a little... there was some old cooking that smells really bad now. Ewww... Then later today I'm going boating with a bunch of friends. I haven't been boating in years! I'm pretty excited about that. 

    So yeah. Dealing with a couple of cravings for gaming (thanks Pokemon, lol), as well as porn. But I'm good. I think if I keep moving they'll dissipate in a few minutes. Anyways, that's most of what my day will be. If I have any brain power left over, I'll start doing some studying for a cryptography assignment I have. I'm both nervous and excited about doing that, because it's a brand new subject for me. 

  18.  

    I hope you make the most of a day to yourself - early on I got really worried about having days to myself as I would be too tempted to game. I am still a little bit worried now because I am not studying, so I am trying really hard to stay busy as well. Do you have a schedule or a plan for the day to follow? That might negate it.

    Great work about your studies! As part of your appeal, do they do regular reports on your progress or wait until the end of the semester? Either way they are going

    I don't have a schedule yet, I should make one though. I find that if I make a schedule for several days, or try to do a blanket schedule, it doesn't work. I've had some pretty spectacular success with creating a schedule for just the current "today". I should definitely keep doing that, since I'll have even more time than usual. 

    For my appeal, I have to meet with my student advocate, and I'm meeting with the Student Life coordinator on a weekly basis. Then I'll be meeting with the Registrar once a month. They also want me to get involved with a couple of clubs as well. I'm working on setting up a Game Quitters club at my school, to support those like me that need the help. Also i'm going to start doing some work with an Entrepreneurial Club that my favorite professor is working on. Plus some financial aid stuff. 

    Way to go, Moe. You've really fallen into a wonderful and productive life. It helps to have that supportive family around you 

    Yeah it feels pretty awesome to be super productive. However, it also feels awesome to be super lazy after a LONG and productive week. Basically, last night I watched Trolls with my daughter, then I read manga for about 3 hours. I almost started watching a t.v. show, but that part is on my no-touchie list for my 90 days. So, reading a new manga story was my way of compromising. Plus, it really was AWESOME to just stop and do nothing except relax for the purposes of relaxing :) 

    Level Up: Game Free 18 Days

    This is yesterday's post. I hung out at home with my wife while she was packing for Vegas trip. Then we went to look at three new apartments that we might move into within the next month. There were two that were awesome, and one was a dud. Not much else to report I suppose. Lol. 

  19. That's rad man! Isn't it one of the best things about quitting your addictions, is that you don't feel constantly guilty for being a slump? Then when you talk to people you've actually got your head held high! Sounds like you had a great weekend. Good on ya man!

  20. Level Up: Game Free Day 17

    Still working through my wildley crazy busy days. I'm out dancing as a celebration, and partly because it's routine, for finishing my first week of my new class flawlessly. Perfect attendance, superb participation (my prof tells me to stop answering a lot, lol), I got a 29/30 on my first quiz (which I ACTUALLY studied for), turned in my paper, submitted my team assignment, and lead my team to an awesome project overall. My paper I wrote tonight was after my class got over at 8 p.m. and I postponed going dancing for 2.5 hours so I could write it and submit it on time. It's been years since I was a perfect student for even a week. This feels awesome. It was tough, and it will get tougher going on. I feel like I'm building good student muscles that have atrophied for years. Also, I started writing my paper 4 hours before it was due (research was already done), and turned it in two hours early. I've known about the assignment since Monday. I did NOT procrastinate it at all, however. I dolled out my time and effectively prioritized everythin I needed to do this week, and determined tonight was the best block of time for me to write it. Planning and prioritizing instead of procrastinating also hasn't happened... maybe ever for me in college..

    I also got to hang out with my daughter and wife at a water park today for about three hours. IT WAS AWESOME! Especualy because it's super rare to see my family in the middle of a weekday. 

    My wife is going out of town for a week starting tomorrow, and my daughter will be with Grandpa to visit an in-town family friend. So I have most of next week all to myself. That hasn't happened since I met my wife three years ago. Also, on the 27th my wife and I had our three year anniversary :-D 

    I'm excited for more me time, and to have more time to get through my to-do list. Lots to do, I imagine I'll keep myself so busy that even being alone for so lone won't make me itch for games.

    Tomorrow will be a hugely busy day as well. I'll apply to a cool part time job, look at three apartments, have my daughter for the night by myself, and see my wife off for her trip. I've got lots to catch up on here, so if you haven't heard from me in a day or two it's all because I'm awesomely busy and I have very little time to post, chat, and respond to emails. I'm still working on lowering my daily production load by a bit so I can have more time to relax. Slowly... making... that... progress... Rar!

  21. Level Up: Game Free Day 16

    Today, unfortunately, I need to be brief. Things are going really well with my detoxes. I haven't had any triggers today that I recall. My current issue that I'm going through is twofold: energy & time.

    First of all, energy. Since I spent a buttload of time this week cleaning the house to perfection I have spent more energy than I'm able to recover via sleep and food. And that's after sleeping through both my alarms for the last week. Ugg... Gotta find a better setup there. But I fear that I might be burning out a bit. I shirked a couple of duties that I was supposed to get done today. I didn't relapse by any means, but I consciously decided to work on my book for 90 minutes instead of 30, just because I NEEDED the break from being so damn productive all the time. I'm hoping things will start to straighten out after this crazy first week of classes for me. Also, I took an accidental (mostly) nap today, and that restored my energy a decent amount, but I unfortunately slept (at my house) through a meeting I was supposed to attend. Oops. 

    My second issue is time: I'm really cherishing my alone time, my "Me" time, and the time I spend on my personal projects, but there is currently not enough hours in the day! Holy crap I've been moving like The Flash lately. Especially when in comparison to my old gaming sloth self. Even though I have been massively productive, it seems like when one thing gets finished, the next thing just eats up the potential time I had. I'm not worried about relapsing at all, because I have no desire to game right now, but I wish I could have a little more time to do the things I actually want to do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the production and I like getting stuff done, but I'm not seeing the opposite side of the coin quite enough right now. 

    I'm putting in effort to get the right balance going for me. I hope to see that come to fruition soon! 

  22. Sorry to hear that today was a rough one man. It seems like you've generally got a good head on your shoulders and you know how to think things through thoroughly, even if it is after the fact. That's certainly enviable. I hope that since your wife is back you'll have a bit of time to get back into taking time for yourself in your healing/detox process. Hopefully getting a little more time for yourself will help with the snappiness you've mentioned a couple times. I even I started getting overly strict and snappy with my daughter after two and half long exhausting days. Seems like she's been gone for a while, so I think your timeline for tough days is even longer than mine!

  23. Well at least the stress didn't break you down and cause you to relapse. And like you said, you have a clean house! That's always a good feeling.

    No it totally didn't! That's one of my favorite things about the new me, things aren't really stressing me out anymore. It's most like everything has shifted into this new perspective of: Prioritize, make a schedule, get it done. It's pretty amazing. I finished my 5 hour chore routine for the house to the MINUTE I had planned today. That was pretty rad :D 

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