Tom2

@giblets Yeah. Today is getting much better! I'm very excited and proud of myself.

I wasn't doing great for couple of days, but today is different. I'm sure you can make change too!

Exactly, yes.

I thought I was reading the lord of the rings. Thank you for sharing your good story. It's helpful.

@Mettermrck Thanks a lot! I'm very relieved now.

Day 17 - 오늘 별로 결단력있게 보내질 못했다. 이미 게임을 끊고 공부에 집중하기로 결정했지만, 계속 게임 생각이 난다. 이제 멈출 시간이다. 오늘 게임을 조절해서 하는 것에 대해 생각했지만, 스스로를 통제할 수 없다는 결론을 내렸다. 내 저널과, 다시 게임했을 때의 글과, 경험으로 이미 증명된 사실이다. 이제 게임에 집착하지 말아야한다. 그리고 집중해야한다. 한 가지 잘 한 건 내가 결심을 했다는 것이다. 그리고 다른 좋은 일은 내가 게임을 하고 싶었음에도 하지 않았다는 것이다. 별로 길게 쓰고 싶진 않다. 이 글을 남기는 것도 마음에 안 들었지만, 그래도 내 여정의 일부기때문에 글로 남기기로 했다.

Day 17 - Ok... I wasn't decisive today. I already made the choice, but I keep looking back. It's time to stop. I thought about gaming in moderation today, but I made the conclusion that I can't control myself. It's proven by my journals, relapse thread, and experience. It's time to let it go. I need to focus now. One good thing is that I made up my mind. Another good thing is that I didn't play video games even though I had craving and nostalgia. Nothing much to say. I didn't like to leave this post, but I think it's still part of my journey so I decided to leave the record.

Think about what you really want and hang in there!

Perhaps I should change some of my methods to deal with cravings. I'm trying to figure out how to bind myself onto studying civil engineering. I may fail someday if I use the same way as my first attempt....

Yeah I saw a couple of people who decided to quit watching porn. You can find your companion easily if you check other's journals.

Good start! Keep it up.

Day 16 was good. - 'Habitica'를 시작했고, 새로운 목표도 세웠다. 4시간 혹은 6시간동안 매일 공부하는 것이다. 나는 정말 공부 시간을 늘려야 한다. 하루에 4시간은 큰 노력없이 할 수 있지만, 6시간은 아직 나한테 무리다. 파란 선이 올라가게 하고 싶다. 지금까지는 그래프가 별로 좋아보이지 않지만, 나는 이 상황을 바꿀 것이다. 빨간 선은 그렇게 중요하진 않다. 왜냐하면 생산적인 일도 빨간 그래프에 포함되기 때문이다. 파란 선이 중요한 거다! 와... 봄 학기에 내가 공부 안 한 날이 저렇게나 많다니. 나는 바뀌어야 한다. 내가 Habitica를 쓰기로 한 이유는 내가 의자에 앉으면 게을러진다는 사실을 발견했기 때문이다. 앉고나서 최대한 빨리 공부를 시작해야하지만, 책을 펴려고 할 때마다 늘 지루함을 느끼고 하기 싫어진다. 110% 토목공학에 매진해야하는데, 나는 계속 뒤를 돌아보는 것 같다. 이미 계속 공부하기로 했지만, 너무 자주 흔들린다. - 토목기사 자격증을 따려는 사람들이 모이는 그룹에 가입했다. 친구들 중에는 아직 이걸 하려는 애들이 없어서, 인터넷에서 비슷한 사람들을 찾을 수밖에 없었다. 그 사람들과 더 얘기하고 질문도 해야겠다.

Day 16 was good. - Started 'habitica' and set up a new goal. Studying 4 or 6 hours everyday. I really need to increase the time. I can study 4 hours a day without much effort but studying 6 hours is not easy for me yet. I want to make the blue line rise. The graph doesn't look good until now, but I will change it. The red graph is not that important because it also includes productive tasks. The important thing is the blue graph! Whoa there were a lot of days when I didn't study during the spring semester... I must change. The reason why I decided to use habitica is I found myself being lazy when I sit on a chair. I should start studying as soon as possible after I sit, but I feel always bored and lose momentum when I try to open a textbook. I should be 110% into civil engineering, but I keep looking back. I've already decided to keep studying but I sway too often. - I joined a group where people who are interested in getting civil engineer certificate gather. I couldn't find any of my friends trying to get one, so I had no choice but to find similar people on the internet. I will talk to them more and ask some questions.

Day 15 - 게으른 날이었다. 난 늘 공부를 시작하기도 전에 해야할 것들의 양에 대해 생각한다. 그리고 그게 날 피곤하게 만든다. 그래서 좀더 재밌는 일을 찾게 된다. 의자에 앉자마자 바로 공부하기 시작해야하는데, 쉽지가 않다.

Day 15 - It was a lazy day. I always think about the amount of works to do before I even start. And that makes me tired. That makes me seek something that entertains me. I should start studying right away when I sit on the chair, but it's not easy.

A pair of sandals .... lol

Day 14 - 오늘은 꽤 괜찮았지만, 내일은 공부를 더 많이 해야한다. 반드시. <감사한 일> 1. 부모님 집에 있는 전기 시설을 좀 고쳤다. 2. 비가 흠뻑 왔다. 3. 신발장에 샌달이 있어서 감사했다.

Day 14 - Today was quite ok, but I need to study more tomorrow. I must. <Gratitude> 1. Fixed some electric stuff in my parent's apartment. 2. It rained cats and dogs. 3. There was a pair of sandals in the closet.

I have three methods. I also get distracted easily when I study. I'm an amateur in learning something but I hope these tips could help you. 1. Making my own note : I make my own notes using Google Docs. Usually, studying was just consuming contents for me. I got bored quickly when I just read text and solve some questions. So I made my own note. It was very interesting and fun because it helped me to organize thoughts. Every textbooks are not perfect. I don't have to read the whole text in those so I can summarize the subject easily with Google Docs. It's very easy to edit the documents so it's more powerful than paper notes. And I can review the things that I've learned through this, anywhere because I don't have to carry bunch of papers. I only need a cellphone. Sometimes I can share my notes with my friend and it's also very joyful to work on it together. It's similar to wikipedia or open source things. 2. Studying with video courses : I can manage my time easily with video courses. When I watch something that I already know enough, I can skip the time. It's very flexible. It also helps me stay focused because I can skip when I get bored. 3. Studying with other people : It's more active than just studying alone as I and others can discuss when we have questions. It's specifically adaptable to learn something via team project. When I study with other people, I get more responsibility so I can focus more. + pomodoro technique is also a good trick to be productive.

Day 13 - 꽤 좋은 날이었다. 토목기사 온라인 강좌를 60일 이내로 끝내는 계획을 세웠다. 측량 파트를 10일 안에 끝내고 싶다. 모든 강좌를 다 끝낼 수 있을지 확신할 수는 없다. 하지만, 목표의 70-80%만 해도 충분히 할만한 일일 것이다. 완벽주의는 그만. 큰 목표를 작은 것들로 나눴다. <감사한 것> 1. 오늘 하루가 완벽하지 않았어도 하루 전체를 낭비하진 않았다. 2. 엄마가 해준 소고기 요리는 정말 훌륭했다. 3. Onlysouls의 댓글을 읽어서 감사했다.

Day 13 - Quite good. I made a plan to finish the online lecture for civil engineer certificate, within 60 days. I want to finish 'surveying' part in 10 days. I'm not sure whether I can finish the whole lecture. However, it would be worthwhile if I finish 70-80% of the goal. No perfectionism. I split the big goal into small ones. <Gratitude> 1. I didn't waste the whole day even if it wasn't perfect day. 2. Roasted beef that my mother made this evening was great. 3. Glad to read Onlysouls' reply.

I don't usually reveal my emotions to others. I don't tell others how I'm feeling, but I can't prevent myself from showing my emotions unconsciously.

Day 12 - 생산적인 날은 아니었다. 일요일엔 더 잘할것이다. - 저녁 먹고 바로 설거지를 안 해서 엄마가 화가 났다. 그냥 피곤했고, 당장 해야되는 중요한 일도 아니라서 그랬다. 정말 짜증이 났다. 엄마는 나에게 욕을 했다. 난 좀 쉬고 싶어서 그냥 무시했다. (쉬고 나서는 설거지를 했다. 왜 그걸 당장 해야되는지 이해할 수 없었다. 아마 내 완벽주의는 엄마한테 영향을 받은 것 같다) <감사한 일> 1. 엄마와 저녁을 먹으면서 <다크나이트 라이즈>를 재밌게 봤다. 2. 영어학원에 다시 갔다. 선생님을 다시 봐서 좋았다. 3. 일요일이 있어서 안심이 된다.

Day 12 - It wasn't a productive day. I'll do better on Sunday. - My mom got mad because I didn't do the dishes right after we had dinner. I was tired for some reason and it wasn't an important thing that has to be done right away. So It was irritating. She used some bad words to me. I just ignored because I wanted to get rest. (I did the dishes after getting rest. Can't understand why I have to do that 'right away'. Perhaps my perfectionism is influenced by my mom.) <Gratitude> 1. Mom and I enjoyed watching <Dark knight rises> while having dinner. 2. I went back to English academy. It was good to meet instructor again. 3. I'm relieved because there's Sunday.

Day 11 은 정말 좋았다 - 생산적인 날이었다. 지금 나는 행복하다. 자정이라서 자고 싶다... <감사한 일> 1. 저녁에 피자를 먹음 2. 방학이 두 달이나 된다. 3. 물 마시고 싶을 때 아무때나 마실 수 있다 ㅋ