Tom

Hey Chris, welcome! Thanks for your long posts. I subscribe to what Travis wrote: your knack for observation got me hooked and I'll be following your journal. I definitely encourage you to go climbing again. It's social, great for your health, and gives a huge sense of accomplishment. Those things trickle down into every aspect of your life. Good luck!

Day 54. A good day. I met all my strength training goals for today. Work went well although I feel overwhelmed. I'm still working through my backlog while helping new colleagues and tackling all kind of last-minute requests. It will be so much better once I'll be done with a couple of big projects. Better still, in one month I'll be on holiday I do still feel gaming cravings. That's no surprise after plowing neural patterns for 30 years. There's still something I need to work on but I can't put my finger on it yet. Sure it will become clearer in time. Gratitude journal: The more I give my full attention to the children the more our bond grows.I'm healthy and in enough good shape to play acrobats with the children.I had a nice chat with a few relatives.

Hey Travis. There's nothing wrong with having your own opinion of people. If in your eyes A drove like an A and B behaved like a B, that's fine. As you say, everyone has their pros and cons. I too have strong reactions towards with people drinking and driving. I don't drive myself since I don't see very well, so I depend on others whenever where I'm going isn't within biking distance. Where I come from many people drink way too much and drive. I used to walk or bike for kilometers! I just hope self-driving cars will be commonplace soon. I'll never buy into "you can't take the pleasure of driving away from me". Take your weapon to a speedway Until then, +1 to Chris's suggestion. About Ms. B. and people who might or might not make fun at you, I found three responses that work pretty well. 1) be naive: "what do you mean?"; 2) deflect with humor: "darling, I'm a lesbian. How about you?"; 3) shrug it off: "haha. By the way...". In any case don't dwell on it: people screw up all the time when trying to be funny. It's part of the game.

Day 53. Full-time dad and husband today. I loved that I could spend time with all the family and separately with my children. I like to give my full attention to one person at a time and I find it the best way to grow closer. I went to the swimming pool with my elder son, then out for groceries with the little one. With my wife we are striving to carve out some time together as a couple. It's a stage of life and sure it will be easier when the children are older. Gratitude journal: I was energetic today. This is what I want every Sunday.My wife and I know how to rock a kitchen. She's better, of course.Mint tea.

Glad you like the idea! By the way, I wrote 4100 instead of 3100. Sorry And +1 to rye bread.

Get well soon!

Hi Paul. Almost a week! Congratulations! Good luck with your recovery, and with your business too.

Nice going! Just one suggestion: Set aside a small sum every month to a savings account. Set up an automatic payment with your bank. For example, €50 a month for 5 years, with a meager 1% interest, will yield around €3,100. You will barely miss the money and if you need it you can always take it back without paying any penalties.

Good progress Alex! What style do you want to start with? Learning chords is quite rewarding: good for singer-songwriter's stuff, folk, singing along by the campfire. For classical I'd advise you find a teacher since fixing postural mistakes is a hell of a lot harder than learning good technique right away. For rock/blues you will most likely start with learning the pentatonic scale and some easy riffs and licks. YouTube is full of good stuff, browse around and see what sticks!

Great progress Thomas! Your best bet at beating procrastination is to have clear goals that you care about. Also sharing these goals with other people helps, as you can keep each other accountable. But you seem to know that already: organizing the fun event is a good example. Switching chords take a bit to master. Fortunately there are many slow or mid-tempo songs that use just a few easy chords. Dansen aan Zee by Bløf for example. Verse: a-, C, G, D; chorus: e-, a-, D, G (and a quick D/F# you can skip); bridge same as chorus, een for je tranen to waaraan we verdwijnen: e-, C, e-. C, e-, D. C. Hope this helps!

Day 52. Saturdays are now our swimming pool days! We went there early and found out that it was the nudist's slot. So we are coming back tomorrow. We went to a small neighborhood's event for the kids, which was OK. Back home I finally fixed everything that was wrong with my workstation! So I spent time with the children while my wife was away on errands. We played and told each other stories. A nice change of pace! In the evening my wife and I caught up on how we are doing. Turns out we're both fine, even under the magnifying glass. I found it very useful to have a relationship check-up every once in a while. Gratitude journal: Our family is solid.The mandoline is quickly growing to be my favorite kitchen tool.I'm reading great books. I just finished The Wisdom of Psychopaths and I'm more than halfway through The Martian (thanks Travis!).

Day 51. Nights are still hit-and-miss. Well, more hit than miss considering the little intruder who likes to lodge himself between mummy and daddy, and his bigger brother every now and then. Oh well. But mornings are consistently good. We decided to take it easy, to sleep longer and just have a tighter, faster routine to get ready. What didn't went well however is that I snapped at my wife. I was working in the living room, waiting for her to come home. But I was frustrated with a number of technical problems, so in retrospect I realize that I set myself up for trouble. I should have stayed in my office. I was there because I wanted to talk with her and I got annoyed because... she was talking to me while I was working. So I felt like an idiot and apologized. As for the technical problems, at least I understood what needs to be fixed and how. I'll do it tomorrow. Gratitude journal: Having learned to apologize right away. Course corrections are better done earlier than later.I'm almost through a long, boring, utterly necessary task.My workout went well.

Day 50. Time flies! Actually I did play a game tonight in a dream. It was good at the beginning but I got bored after a little while. I guess I have better things to do when sleeping My productivity has been clobbered by technical problems. I spent half a day with support, then left and found a workaround on my own. Now it's all about getting back on track. Gratitude journal: A contractor did a great job in the house.Being a nerd saves me a lot of time.Cam sent me a nice sticker and handwritten note!

Day 49. I woke up before the alarm clock and got going right away. I took the chance to move my weight training to before work rather than at lunch break. A nice relaxed breakfast with my family and the day started in the best of ways. Alignment checks are working nicely. I was more focused and wasted less energy switching between tasks. I'll keep doing them. Gratitude journal: I had the chance to meet some new colleagues.I helped a person understand a complex situation and saved her quite some time.Leather keeps wind and rain away.

Joe, my condolences. You'll find solace in good memories. I know I do. About the accident, don't beat yourself up too much. Let me share this with you. A few months ago my uncle was killed in a road accident. It was the other driver's fault. He was sober and clean. We never blamed him. In fact we felt sorry he too had to bear the pain.

I compared progress with and without supplements and found that a varied and balanced diet is enough for me. I still managed to get from 58 kg to 70 kg and I deadlift twice my body weight. I do eat quite a lot (always did) and I drink at least two liters of water each day.

Day 48. The day was a bit sluggish due to technical problems (Joe, you know something about it...). I also really wanted to catch up with you guys on the forum so I spent a long time reading and replying here. The result was a stretched-out working session that pretty much just ended. I spent almost no time with my family. I got everything done but I didn't use my time efficiently. So I'll try out an idea. Exactly every hour I will stop whatever I'm doing. I'll look at a point far away and take a deep breath. And I'll ask myself this question: "is this what I'm supposed to be doing?". I'll call this an alignment check. Gratitude journal: Soup is reentering my diet. I though I didn't like soup. My wife is proving me wrong.We live in a quiet neighborhood. No crowds or trucks keeping us awake.My friends in Paris are safe.

Good to hear! It didn't exist when I did the program so I was making calculations in my head all the time Have a lot of fun with 5x5 and expect some impressive gains! In a few months you'll need to go easy on your BJJ buddies... You'll keep the speed and precision and add a lot of gripping power. If you have any questions around 5x5 maybe I can help, so feel free to ask.

Hey Daryl, welcome to the forum! And greetings from Den Haag! Since you are a completionist, how about picking up a real-life skill? Something like playing an instrument, or cooking. You can also use it for socializing (e.g. playing in a band or hosting a dinner party). Too bad your underground metal events were cut. I would have loved to check them out. Good luck with your recovery! I'll follow your progress on your journal!

Hey Torc, I like your idea of the two counters! I'm playing on hard

Miguel, bem-vindo I liked your "feast or famine" analogy. Congratulations for picking up the courage to quit and making it this far!

It might be easier to quit gaming now that you are in your 30s than earlier. At least it was for me. Is there any other passions you can share with your brother? Or you can go deeper and ask him for advice on your gaming issues. I also have a brother who lives far away. We usually talk music. One of the greatest pushes in turning my life around? Time by Pink Floyd. Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand wayKicking around on a piece of ground in your home townWaiting for someone or something to show you the wayTired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rainAnd you are young and life is long and there is time to kill todayAnd then one day you find ten years have got behind youNo one told you when to run, you missed the starting gunAnd you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinkingRacing around to come up behind you againThe sun is the same in a relative way, but you're olderShorter of breath and one day closer to deathEvery year is getting shorter, never seem to find the timePlans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled linesHanging on quiet desperation is the English wayThe time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Good luck with your relapse! Let us know how it goes limiting your game time. My advice is that you keep track of a few characteristics that matter to you and that you know your gaming habit can affect. Mine were: self-worth/shame, efficiency/procrastination, joyfulness/crankiness, altruism/egoism. Remember that in our case, either we are in control or we aren't. Watch out for the avalanche effect of "one more game" turning into "until I win", "until I get a 3 win streak", "until I dominate the server"... That's not the kind of progress you want to be making in your life Not being judgmental here. If you can stick to your self-imposed limits I'm happy for you. However, reading this sentence... ...it sound like you are giving up! I wouldn't worry for you if I read something where your willpower shines through. Something like: "I'll maintain my 7 disciplines. I will play for 30 minutes each day." What are your thoughts? Am I making any sense?

Day 47. Haha, like the bald guy. I used to always store my stuff in locker 47 at my old gym, as a tongue-in-cheek motivational joke. Today my routine was a bit off but I still got everything done. Since my wife had classes I spent all evening alone with the children. The first of a long series. It was good fun and I'm sure we'll find ways to enjoy it even more. My weight training session went good. I had a small imjury that prevented me from training two out of three times last week. I'm glad I listened to my body and rested. Now I can give it all I've got again My goal is to beat my PR three weeks from now. Gratitude journal: 1. My wife bravely going after her dreams. 2. Alfred J. Kwak being a surprisingly educational cartoon. 3. Dimmable screens making writing in bed less annoying.

Day 46. Bad weather and a need to recuperate after two social evenings playing host turned me into a full-time reader. We still upheld the weekly family tradition of making pizza. I started working on energy management. One shouldn't be completely drained on weekends. I'm aware that it's mainly intellectual strain and stress I accumulated over the years. The origin is clear: an unbearable financial situation that forced me and my wife to redesign our life from scratch, including changing countries and careers. Since then I'm still on red alert. It's fear that fuels me. Fear of gravity: I feel that, if I won't keep pushing up, the ground will claim me again. And I'm not letting that happen. However I must recognize that we have built good safety measures. Our new country is stable and fair. I'm doing great in my new career. We live healthy and happily. So why am I still clutching the throttle like there's no tomorrow? Has fear become a habit? So, let's use the cue-routine-reward framework I learned from The Power of Habit. Cue - perceived deficiencies, e.g.: money, marketable skills, support network.Routine - productive activities, e.g.: side projects, courses, networking.Reward - measurable outcomes, e.g.: career advancement, certificates, social activities.Gosh, it seems I'm doing everything right! How can I change my routine if it's a good one? Is it a problem of perception? Of priorities? Let's dig deeper and find the real cues behind the cues. MoneySituation: not rich, not poor, debt almost gone.Fear: going broke.Cue: emergency fund too little, no investments.Routine: limit expenses and keep saving.Reward: reach target amount in emergency fund, then start investing.Routine working: YES.New routine/behavior: stick to routine and be patient.Marketable skillsSituation: I'm on top of my game, with more certified skills than my peers.Fear: being stuck and becoming obsolete.Cue: while my responsibilities have grown dramatically, I still have the same title of when I was hired.Routine: work until exhaustion, attend internal and external courses.Reward: get a new title.Routine working: NO.New routine/behavior: talk to my boss about advancement, attend only internal courses.Support networkSituation: just starting to build meaningful connections with families we met recently.Fear: being lonely.Cue: we are not friends with other families with little children.Routine: take the lead in meeting people, organizing activities.Reward: feel part of a community of friends.Routine working: YES.New routine/behavior: stop actively looking for families, build existing connections.There you go! I should probably just take the time to congratulate myself and my family with our progress. That, and a gigantic dose of fuck it, that's enough for today. Thoughts? Gratitude journal: Journaling is a powerful weapon.Having overcome many obstacles in life.My wife's patience and ability to run the house all by herself when I'm exhausted.