Granitwelle

Alright, this journal ends here. I'll keep it classy and write in a physical one from now on. I figured there'd be more exchange. Whatever, I need to walk my own way anyway. @mod: Feel free to delete this thread, sorry for the trouble. So long, GQ!

Journal Day #18 // Days without gaming: 40 Tuesday, 4/4/2017 I cracked the forty-day mark, only five more and 50% of my journey has been achieved. Returning to the metaphor of this journal, I'd say that I still meander in mist as I do not have full clarity in all my actions. Still feel a bit lost and overwhelmed at times but hey, everyone does at one point. The path starts to go uphill and things become a bit more challenging, but in hindsight, it's always the hard things that contribute more to shaping your character than the easy ones. In other words: back to work-a-holic mode. Doing sports has paid off and I lost some excess weight. Meditation keeps me grounded. Thanks for reading so far and thanks for all the comments, I'm glad I started this journey and have some fellow wanderers on the road to personal betterment. Let's push onward towards the peak, shall we? Gratitude journal - my family and my dog - my friends Workout/run: walked 3kms Meditation: full cycle Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going!Daily reflection: good incidents: started to work again bad incidents: procrastination potential for improvement: complain less, work more Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals Weekly Goal(s): revise concept for thesis, this will not work out in its current form Monthly Goal: make decent progress on the thesis, ace an important exam, keep moving onward 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Journal Day #17 // Days without gaming: 39 Monday, 3/4/2017 Wasted away the weekend after I was binge work-a-holicing for three weeks. A buddy and I re watched several seasons of X-Files recently, I didn't know that there was another season. That ending, the worst cliffhanger ever, I wonder whether they'll make another one to give the series closure. Other than that, I didn't do much. Gotta get back into shape! Still no urge to game and energy levels are still increasing. However I need to practice some restraint for I am wasting away too much time in front of PCs and the internet. Any suggestions how to reduce screen time (PC) when you actually need it for work? Gratitude journal - my family and my dog - my friends Workout/run: exercise bike Meditation: full cycle Daily affirmation: You deserved some rest, now full throttle again!Daily reflection: good incidents: relaxed and enjoyed the day bad incidents: procrastination potential for improvement: complain less, work more Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals Weekly Goal(s): revise concept for thesis, this will not work out Monthly Goal: make decent progress on the thesis, ace an important exam, keep moving onward 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

"Fall seven times, get up eight." Don't see it as defeat, you managed significantly more days than last time. Battles are not won by strength alone, but also by endurance. You can do it!

Journal Day #16 // Days without gaming: 37 Saturday, 1/4/2017 The first weekend I simply enjoyed and relaxed. I still have a lot of work to do, however one also needs to rest occasionally. As I threw out and sold everything gaming and manga related, I did not have a possibility to watch my Blu-Rays and DVD collection. Therefore, I bought a Blu-ray player yesterday and had a nice evening with friends. Nachos, salsa dip and a couple of hilarious B-movies served as welcome entertainment - Machete, Kung Fury, Tremors. Spent the rest of the day with the family and working in the garden for a while, repairing things and simply enjoying spring - crocuses and snowdrops everywhere. I still do not miss gaming after almost 40 days. The weeb is harder to overcome though lol Gratitude journal - my family and my dog - my friends Workout/run: exercise bike Meditation: full cycle Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going! Daily reflection: good incidents: relaxed and enjoyed the day, fixed a couple of things around the garden, socialised bad incidents: still a lot of work to do, --> bad conscience potential for improvement: complain less Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss check, I finished everything! Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis check 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Journal Day #15 // Days without gaming: 36 Friday, 31/03/2017 Today was a tough day, but I stood my ground. Could have presented better, but hey, considering the fact that I wasn't presenting much during my gaming binges, I fared well. Finally had time to meditate and workout again. It's been 36 days already, time sure flies. Inertia and idleness still sometimes paralyze, however it is getting less and less frequent. Working on my personality now, I socialize more and I want to hire a coach after I finish my degree. This will take some time, but man it feels GOOD. What a fool I have been all those years, shackled by such a pointless hobby. I don't want to sound like an old man, back to work and lifting!Gratitude journal - my family and my dog - a good person who entered my life some time ago. Hope this will blossom into a full-scale friendship - my faith that has helped me through several tougher stretches of my life Workout/run: exercise bike, walked 3km Meditation: full cycle Daily affirmation: Well done, keep going! Daily reflection: good incidents: presentation went well, socialised a lot, more assertive compared to the past bad incidents: minor difference in opinion with peer, still too defensive potential for improvement: increase awareness of deceptive people Gaze towards the future ~ personal goals Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss check, I finished everything! Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis check 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard.

Hang in there! Do you practice other forms of martial arts aside from karate as well? I plan on picking up kendo soon. Used to practice judo as a kid.

Awareness is the first element of change. Don't fret because you failed once, you got back up and on your feet and are willing to fight again for becoming a better version of yourself. Fall seven times, get up eight (Japanese proverb) I was playing Ingress (Niantic, "ancestor" of Pokemon Go) religiously at one point in my life as I thought it is a form of social gaming and better as it is active. Then I realized that the community was toxic and I basically drove around like an idiot, wasting time, money and fuel only to capture some elusive portal in the middle of nowhere. Don't see the game as investment if it holds you back. Then it is a shackle rather than an investment. Invest in yourself, and the future self you cultivate will be your return on investment ~ life pays better dividends, gaming didn't do anything for me Maybe lifting and meditation helps?

Congrats on the 22 days mate, keep up the good work. Also good that you lift, physical strain might be tough at first but the effects are worth the hassle. Reading is a rewarding hobby indeed, however I mostly read for work or studies only. Poetry and the occasional short story are the only forms of recreational reading for me. Time to finish that one Hemingway novel.

Gut dass du aufhören willst. War bei mir auch so, entweder ein Maximum an Zocken oder ein Maximum an Lernen. Ich studiere derzeit und ärgere mich, dass ich in der Oberstufe nicht mehr gelernt habe. Sinnlose Zeitfresser wie du sagst, bringt rein gar nix. Sport und mehr Zeit mit dem Freundeskreis verbringen sind definitv sinnvoller. Häng dich rein und streb die 90 Tage ohne Zocken an, ein gutes Abi bringt dich hundert mal weiter im Leben als irgendein Highscore.

Journal Day #14// Days without gaming: 34 Wednesday, 29/03/2017 Things get better and better every day. Stress recedes and I find joy in cultivating my mind and socializing with the right people. Meditation might have changed my mind on many things, however I have become way more positive and start to cut out negative influences from my life. Life is an opportunity rather than a threat. Since I started tougher sports and exercises, sweating out the beta-remnants gaming spawned, self-esteem increases in leaps and bounds. Screw external validation, the crippling crutch of (a)social media and the fleeting opinion of others. It's all within, we just need to move our lazy behind lolGratitude journal - my decision to quit gaming - Amorphis (Under the Red Cloud), Killswitch Engage - Lipton Ice Tea One amazing thing that happened/I did today - quit being a nice guy, but rather being "selectively polite" Workout/run: squats, jumping jacks, jab punches low/mid/hi kicks Meditation: full cycle Daily affirmation: . Fall seven times, get up eight (Japanese proverb) Reading: Miyamoto Musashi: Gorin no Sho Weekly Goal(s): get shit done like a boss Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis check 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard. What went well today: productive like a boss What I could have done to make my day better: quit gaming years ago already lol What I will do differently tomorrow: work, however remain vigilant as I expect something negative to happen soon

Chapter 2: Misty Mountain Trail (Day 30-60) 霧深い山道, the “misty mountain trail”, shall be the motif for the second month of the journey. The sublime eeriness of fog and its property of blurring vision should reflect doubt and uncertainty that is an integral part of our journey. The wanderer has left the flat and winding road of life, took a detour at a junction and now meanders towards a large mountain, slowly but resolutely. The trail leads uphill and the wanderer eventually reaches a lush forest with a verdant canopy. Compared to the flat road, this path is harder to navigate as loose roots and massive stone plates are scattered all across the path. Nonetheless, the wanderer presses on steadily uphill. Eventually, a thick, enshrouding fog impairs his vision and he needs to rest for a while and scan the environment in order to find his bearings. A looming shadow in the distance. Crippled woodwork and dead trees beneath the road. He shudders briefly, but then smiles. He sees the bright sunlight through both the thick fog as well as the verdant canopy. The path leads uphill, this is all he needs to know as he marches on, anticipating the joy of reaching the peak and beholding the stunning panorama from the top. The way is the goal. Fear and doubt shall not stop me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Journal Day #13// Days without gaming Day 31// Monk-Mode Day 2 Sunday, 26/03/2017 Gratitude journal - my family, my dog - Yoshida Brothers (Shamisen music) Workout/run: - (caught a cold and had to take a break for two days) Meditation: entire cycle Daily affirmation: Alright, month two already. Bring it on! Reading: Nicolo Macchiavelli - Il Principe Weekly Goal(s): serious progress on thesis, less complaining, not met, had to work on other assignments which were more pressing Monthly Goal: Survive the first 30 days of gaming detox, get my paper done, study hard for upcoming exams and start working on my thesis done, will rework thesis concept be more active during the second month (day 30-60), ace an exam at the end of the month, thesis 3 Month Goal: Successfully complete 90 days of non-gaming in order to make my brain rewire. There is no way back as I do not own gaming-related stuff anymore, however withdrawal symptoms might be hard. One amazing thing that happened/I did today: worked on case study What went well today: work What I could have done to make my day better: wake up earlier, be less doubtful What I will do differently tomorrow: work more

Fin ~ Chapter 1: Hitting the Road of Life (Day 1-30) 30 days-The first milestone of the 90-day gaming detox has finally been reached. A month has passed since I have sold everything gaming, manga and anime related. The sole remnant of this period is my avatar here which stems from a series which also strongly reflects the "journey" motif, the "theme" of my journal. I decided to take a break, make a brief stop and reflect upon my progress and experiences so far. The previous month was tough, but change never comes easily or without sacrifice. I have socialized a lot more compared to the past, however I still waste too much time in front of the PC. My brief periods of escapism in the form of taking naps decrease and I feel comparatively higher energy levels throughout the day. This was presumably a consequence of my brain rewiring, trying to fill the wealth of time I now have at my disposal. Basic muscles and stamina are coming back as I spend a lot of time on our exercise bike/treadmill. Whereas I do not have built up sufficient muscle for lifting weights extensively, I am really looking forward to it. Moreover, I will also pick up martial arts and I'm really looking forward to the warmer weather. Training outside, learning the basic kata (moves) of kendo (swordsmanship). Meeting new people at the dojo will be exciting. I'm pumped! For a strange reason though, I seem to be more emotional compared to the past where I used to be rather stoic and without much external expression. It's like a sea of repressed emotion, built up over a decade, now breaking free as the dam cracks and the torrential flood gushes out (poetic mood again). We're blokes, so we tend to bottle it up - bulldog spirit, stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on, "ganbatte spirit" or whatever you want to call it. I'll have to learn how to deal with this circumstance, it does not go well with my ideal image of becoming a tougher, better version of myself. Presumably a temporary phenomenon. Practicing meditation and mindfulness makes my actions with peers significantly more enjoyable and deep. I bought a collection of incense sticks, a Nepalese singing bowl as well as qigong balls (Baoding balls). For the calming effect rather than the esoteric pursuit, I practice a full cycle of chakra meditation on an almost daily basis. People start to notice the change as I try to be more compassionate, listen more and provide advice. Some even jokingly call me a priest. Gaming and succumbing to my primal instincts (PMO) has cultivated anxiety and a negative self-image over the course of time, so I am quite astonished how well I'm received by others recently. Still, I should become less dependent. I started another period of monk mode and pair it with a light version of NoFap (7 day productivity boost). We are masters of our own instincts and we can forge our future for we are not slaves to primal needs and drive (gluttony, lust, urge to play games). It definitely feels like the right path. Cumulative Progress: Days of journalling: 12 Days without gaming. 30 (Status 25/03/2017)

Nice title for a journal, I could not agree more. We need to face our demons otherwise others they control us. Or let's reverse the situation: what if we actually sit in the cave and the shadow of the people passing by is our ideal self-image when we free ourselves from the chains of addictions? (reference: Plato's cave allegory). Keep up the good work!