Hello! Greetings from Indonesia!

[Gruive]

I never thought I'd ever come across a community where people know and feel exactly what I am going through fighting this 'addiction'. First of all I have always doubted that gaming could be an addiction - but after reading the book (currently just finished the 1st chapter) and finding a community of people struggling the same things I go through, I see that I cannot and should never underestimate this 'illness/disease/addiction' and I hope that all of you will find the victory to overcome and live your life to the fullest!

Hi! My name is Eric. I'm from Indonesia and I live in the capital city of Jakarta, where the traffic drains the life out of you as are games.

I want to quit games because I was 23 and I felt that I was living a lie and not my life. I observed that I was quick to give up on many things (except for game challenges) and I enjoyed very little of life outside of my games. I noticed that gaming also takes a toll on your health (duh) and I knew simply that this was not sustainable but I did not know how to change. I felt like I was imprisoned and could not walk out of it.

I am 33 years old now; but just came across this website just 2 days ago. I came to believe in God and am a Christian since 2013. I began struggling with games again the past 2 years. I went through a whole lot of life changes in the past 10 years and am far better in my life, but gaming still lingers on the fringes of my life and no matter how little I try to control it. It always has a damaging influence in my life and I wanted to change all of that permanently. I see that gaming still impacts my faith and life negatively and I find it incompatible with the life course that I am pursuing now. Whenever I see how many game hours I have poured into a game, I always get thought in my mind of "Imagine what you could have done or learned with xxx amount of hours?!"

When I play, I notice that I start to slack in other important areas of my life like praying, being productive, diligent, and doing other important but not urgent tasks. Playing games had become an activity where I escape to from stressful and fearful situations or mental state in my life. The more I play, the bigger the real fear and stress (because I ignore it), and the more I would play, and I would seek after stronger and longer-lasting stimulus in order to drown out the fear. When I play games, this deadly cycle forms and it gets worse and worse for me. I don't want to lose control of what is important and meaningful in my life. I want out. 

 

What is my main goal now that I've quit:

1) I want to experience other things in life and I know that they can be other stress-relievers and fun-inducing activities other than gaming. 

2) I want to learn how to face stressful and/or fearful or uncertain situations in my life with calm, a cool and clear mind and learn to accept circumstances and results in life with dignity and wisdom.

3) I want to grow up. I want to grow richly in character, experience life and living to the fullest. I want to live my life and not an illusion or a fantasy.

 

I hope my introduction was not a drag and hope it serves as an encouragement to all of you. God bless you.

- Eric

[Mettermrck]

Hi Eric welcome aboard! Yes I had times when I could handle gaming better but it always seemed to sap my drive a bit to where I never tried to improve myself. You're in a good place to work on this!

[Cam Adair]

Welcome Eric!