What are three things you're grateful for today? Share in your journal. :)

Hey there.

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Posted (edited)

 

Hey, here is a quick story about my addiction:

Through elementary school, I would play handhelds with my friends; they were the main way of connecting and socializing with them.

For middle school, I transferred to a very demanding school and was separated from those friends. Looking back, I would have chosen to stay with them. At this point, I had my own laptop and I was introduced to PC gaming. I would play to escape the pressure of school, but I wanted my parents to think I was being responsible with my schoolwork. I would play at night while my parents were asleep, and otherwise, I would make sure the screen faced away from them while I gamed. Gaming messed up my routine, but back then, I had no intention of fixing it. I couldn't pry myself from the social aspect of it, and I quickly formed a social circle in-game that was in fact bigger and more emotionally satisfying than my real-life friendships.

Eventually, my school gave up on me and I dropped out. I deemed myself a failure, and kept on playing video games, since that was my only source of pleasure. All this time I knew deep down that life would be better if I stopped, but I kept telling myself that life with video games could work.

No job, no school. This lasted for a year, until I finally enrolled in college. I put a ton of effort into my first year, but equally into video games. It was during the end of the first year that I was enlightened to the fact that my life sucks, and decided to take action. Depression hit me hard. The next semester was a growing period though, I got my first part-time job and started to rebuild my thinking around school. I played a lot less but I relapsed many, many times. Sometimes for weeks. Sometimes popping into mumble servers with the excuse that I needed to talk to friends. Or binging on gaming content for weeks at a time. I convinced myself that it was okay because it's technically not "gaming."

Here is what is puzzling to me, though: During my first two semesters (while I was playing video games), I was doing okay in school. After I made an effort to stop playing, my grades took a huge tumble because I had abandoned whatever stability that gaming provided me. Weird, but the main thing is that I stopped playing.

It's been a month since my last "content consumption" relapse, and almost 6 months since I last gamed. I have routine now. I read before bed and walk in the morning. Thoughts about gaming pop into my head from time to time, though. I have far-reaching goals, but I am happier than I ever was. Fortunately my parents are very supportive of my growth.

I want to applaud everyone who have posted here so far. I've never really told anyone about my gaming addiction, until now. Not even my parents or my psychiatrist. My parents "knew," but they kind of just observed from afar and waited it out, and I simply didn't have the guts to admit that I was addicted.

I'm looking forward to how Respawn and this community can help me. I think I need it. Thanks Cam!

Edited by thb23
removed personal info, added stuff
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Posted

Hello there, buddy!

How are you doing with implementing Respawn? I said implementing intentionally because it's not about just reading it. It's about taking these action steps @Cam Adair has written for you. :)

I hope that you'll start writing your daily journal. Even ONE SENTENCE daily can make a huge difference like "I feel pretty good today, because I wake up early and done important things first!" Trust me, this will give you a brief history of your detox after finishing!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Posted

Welcome to the forums! 

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Posted

It's been a month since my last "content consumption" relapse, and almost 6 months since I last gamed. I have routine now.

Seems like you're doing really great.:)

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