12 June - 16 June:
I met my friend, spent time with my girlfriend and attended a small high-school reunion. It was nice to see the guys after a while.
I also finished the testing of students who had it as a requirement. I also worked on updating my website yesterday, although I am heavily considering consulting a professional. I strongly believe in improving my online presence as much as I believe in improving my actual teaching skills. It's really on the same level and these two must go together.
My brother, my girlfriend and I also visited my mom at the spa. The visit was OK, so I hope it helps her mental health. She should come back home the next week.
I was also a bit bored yesterday, but I did some things around the flat. It's odd, but necessary to be bored sometimes.
I haven't watched porn in almost a month, so hooray for that 😄Â
Wow, I can't imagine the nerve of that person. I can imagine happening it once (even though meeting somebody new should likely be top priority), but not twice. I'm certain it's a good thing you won't work there, if that's how it goes there 😄Â
Do you have any support to help you with that? I started solving my porn problem actively and I've been clean for almost a month now.
June 17 - Day #3.5
I spent half of the day in a meditative state in preparation for a twice-rescheduled phone interview, albeit one that I wanted. No one called, and I'm pretty sure I was waiting for another 'No Caller ID' as part of the bargain - calling their regular number, I've tried once before to no avail.
So I went out for a short jog and medium walk to try and clear my head, but mostly what that did was re-ascertain me of the clearly bad mood I was in. The good news is that I'm here instead of recommitting to gaming. The bad news is that after reading an email sent past 5pm and its contents, I don't think the person deserves a 3rd chance to mess up again on this week. The vibe has well-passed now. Onward to abstinence.
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Gaming: No desires until the walk back home, even whilst knowing I was 20-30 minutes from getting here and typing, the only comfort I could find was a mental image of grinding the game. I am usually pretty attuned to my environment, and it was cold literally and figuratively, so simply changing my thought patterns this evening would probably have created collateral damage. I don't do that. But maybe overnight/tomorrow.
Erotic material: Explaining the 'Day #3.5' count, I accidentally came across some whilst reading, and forgot to say a prayer or whatever. I felt unclean, but did not suffer all-day damage from it like with actual giving in to looking for whatever else. I don't wish for another half-day-count, but at least we would return to whole numbers if I misstep again.Â
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Gratitude:
~ Maybe the general population is so far gone where I am that my suffering appears minuscule, and not even worth aggravating for entertainment. So, I am lucky that I felt unprovoked and thus harmless.Â
~ The taste of water when truly thirsty
~ Gradually returning pleasures of the sounds and smells of new days
~ Waking up semi-dead and recovering
Happy Monday, I guess.
~ Matt
Entry 16.6 ( Written on 17.6)
Day 625: No Useless Videos
Day 624: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 226: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 217: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 0: 6 pomodoros - Till the end of the week i Omit this count since I did put in the weekly plan less than 6 pomodoros each day in any case.
3 Things I did well no matter how small
-1.5 more hours of apartment progress
- Overcoming the urge to go to sleep even though I slept only about 4 hours
-1 hour workout
1 Thing I could do better
-IF I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, return more promptly to bed
Godspeed. There are gonna be some ups and downs here.Ii's okay. Just remember your why during the hard times 🙂
and I think you have some written here as an aid 🙂Â