Zeno 94 Posted April 9, 2021 Author Share Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) Well, reviewing my purchasing history on Steam - which doesn't include my purchases on EA, Ubisoft, and Epic Games - was good and bad. It was good in that I was able to reconstruct more of my history with gaming, part of my current effort to reconstruct and come to terms with the entire history of my marriage and the earlier trajectory of my career. That's really been helping me a lot, and has bolstered my resolve to recapture the promise of the early years of my professional life. It was bad in that it reminded me of all the games I'd played, and how and why I had enjoyed them, how I was bowled over by the great leaps in technology since that old vector-graphics dungeon-crawler I played back in the 1980s. They were immersive! They were dynamic! Sometimes, they were just gorgeous, with the play of light through trees, a vault of blue sky . . . But, really, if I want that again, I just have to look out my back windows as the sun is rising, or walk out my front door as the sun is going down. If I want adventure and striking landscapes, it's a short drive up into the Appalachians from here; the Great Smokey Mountains are just a 3-hour drive away. In fact, one end of the Appalachian Trail is not very far from where I live. If I want a stunning vault of blue sky, I just have to go home to the American Midwest. (The sound design is really astounding in the real world, isn't it? The Foley effects are always on-point.) And If I want to be in a relationship with someone, again, I'll have to do more than complete a few side missions and pass a few speech checks. At minimum, I'll have to be able to give someone my full attention without part of me jonesing for a hit of that ol' dopamine. That, and I need to be worthy of attention in return. Anyway, all of this got caught up in my dreams. I have not in the past dreamed of games, nor even had dreams inspired directly by games. Last night, though, I had a nostalgia dream for that open-world exploration/survival game into which I've sunk the equivalent of 4.8 months. Later on, closer to dawn, I dreamed I met someone extraordinary - intelligent, sensitive, kind, stunningly beautiful - and there was a spark, a possibility. I woke up feeling hopeful. Edited April 9, 2021 by Zeno some word-smithing and typo-hunting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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