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Good day!

My name is Chiliflavor and I'm here for the 2nd time, to "officially" quit playing video games forever.
Here is my introduction while this one is my 90-day detoxification journal.
In this journal, my goal is to go deeper into my thoughts, task executions, and reflections. I followed a certain format in my previous journal but for this one, I'd just write whatever I'm feeling.

To make the story short, I've been playing video games since I was 6 years old—20 years ago. All in all, as far as I know, I've played more or less 30,000 hours. That's 3.42 years of playing. Haha! Damn... Well, that was fun. After all the ups and downs in life, I decided to quit last May 2020. I had been game-free for 3 and a half month then I thought why not try playing again and see if I can play "moderately." As we all know, that wouldn't work for a gaming addict. I relapsed, quit for a day or two, relapsed again, and quit for a day or two again. Since I've had extra money, I decided to buy Respawn. I still played after reading it because I thought I would do just like what Sir Cam did—last hoorah. However, I couldn't wait until Christmas to stop playing because I really want to start 2021 with a stable daily routine. I want to rebuild the mindset I had last May 2020 when I successfully quit gaming and smoking and focus on what really matters most—my life and my loved ones.

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To my future self that is about to relapse, kindly read the following points and remember the feeling of relapsing.
1. Yes, you miss playing games. If you played a game, you'll definitely feel bad at the end of the day because you know deep down inside it won't do you any good.
2. You can't play in moderation. You've tried it countless times and you have failed. It's just impossible for you because you have no control; you're a gaming addict.
3. You don't want a messy room and office, don't you? How about the kitchen and car? Not to mention your unorganized PC files and a simple task like sweeping or mopping the floor.
4. You don't read and study about stock trading at all when you were gaming right? You wouldn't become a profitable trader if you played. You aren't like other traders who can control their need to play.
5. You haven't made any development for your business when you relapsed. Why would you risk your business for a game that won't help you feed yourself and future family?
6. You don't want to make your family and girlfriend disappointed again right? Remember the sadness in their face when you told them you were playing again.
7. You want a sense of achievement? You can get it through gaming—virtual achievement. It's up to you to choose between real or virtual achievement.
8. How does it feel waking up late in the afternoon? Playing games is the root of your major problem—sleeping pattern. Remember how tired your eyes were the last time you relapsed. Your eyes felt so tired just like when you were playing WoW. You didn't do any shit except waking up, smoking, playing and drinking too much coffee.
9. Your problems won't be solved after one game. Playing games just delay your actions to solve your problems.
10. You are better of not gaming at all, I know you know it for sure. You just have to accept that you had chose to close that chapter of your life.

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Thanks GameQuiiters and Sir Cam for Respawn. I was hesitant at first in buying the book. Glad I bought it. Respawn filled in the gaps in my quitting process.

The mistake I made was to give in into the cravings. Playing a simple game like insaniquarium deluxe could lead to a total relapse.
Just like in that "one" stick I consumed, it led to a total relapse in my smoking habit. Looking forward to quit this smoking habit tomorrow as well.

This time I would try it the hard hotter way.
Until the next entry. 

PS. Thanks for reading! Hoping that you—ex-gamers—are doing well!
PPS. Nice new layout of GameQuitters website!

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On 11/4/2020 at 2:31 PM, chiliflavor said:

Remember the sadness in their face when you told them you were playing again.

Aww. I don't want to let my mom down either. I think she'd be kind of disappointed or just not on board with me gaming though she'd tolerate it. I don't know if I'd even be able to keep my job if I went back to gaming. I hope I don't ever have to find out.

 

On 11/4/2020 at 2:31 PM, chiliflavor said:

Your problems won't be solved after one game. Playing games just delay your actions to solve your problems.

Amen to that. They really do just put all your real life problems and to do lists on hold, sometimes for years before getting back around to your real life.

Good job coming back. Welcome back, I hope to read more of your posts soon.

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