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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

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Hey all,

My gaming addiction isn't as severe as some of the others I've seen on here, but it's negatively affecting my life and I've repeatedly hit "gaming lows", and so it's time for me to talk about my addiction.

I'm 28 years old. I've been addicted to video games all throughout my teenage and adult years. I've had some great memories with gaming - I played Everquest and WoW a ton as a teenager, and as an adult I've switched to playing a lot of competitive games, mostly Super Smash Bros and Rocket League. But gaming has always been a problem for me. As a kid, my aunt once shut off the power via the circuit breaker in the room just so I'd stop playing PS2 and go outside. As a teenager, I remember blowing off my friends and rushing home so I could hop on Eve Online. In college, I discovered Minecraft and got horrible grades one semester because I constantly skipped classes to play.

Now, I've got a wife, a toddler, and another kid on the way. I have a career in software engineering and I'm beginning to take the next steps into leadership. I don't have a lot of free time anymore, and I can't afford to waste what time I have with gaming when it doesn't make me happy or help me relax.

I've had numerous moments in my life, many recently, where I've been playing a competitive game and I've raged so hard that I hate myself for playing games in the first place. This is the cycle that always happens:

  • I'll stop gaming for a few weeks
  • I'll convince myself that I can get the same enjoyment and relaxation from other non-gaming activities, like piano, drawing, watching TV, reading books, etc.
  • I'll start to be "on edge" all the time and allow the stress to build up without an effective way to decompress. I'll start to snap at my wife and coworkers
  • I'll convince myself that I can game again, but I need to keep it under control. I'll adopt some methodology to limit how much I game or incentivize other "productive" activities to allow myself to game (e.g. HabitRPG was the most recent one)
  • I'll follow this new methodology for a few weeks
  • I'll hit a point where I'm not supposed to game (e.g. I haven't gathered enough coins in HabitRPG to "buy" gaming time), but I end up gaming late into the night anyways. Sadness follows, but I'll recoup from it
  • I'll slowly stop following the new methodology until I ignore it completely and begin gaming more and more frequently
  • I will continue until I reach a critical mass, where I explosively tear out all of my gaming stuff, throw it all in the basement, and swear off gaming. Self-hate follows.
  • Repeat.

This just happened tonight with Super Smash Bros Ultimate. My gaming PC was already packed away in the basement, but now I've tossed my Switch down there as well. I can't bring myself to just give all my gaming stuff away but I keep feeling like that's what I need to do.

I haven't read or watched any Game Quitters resources yet but I plan on doing that tonight. I'm sure there are better ways to address this addiction.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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