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Social Anxiety


LadyRen

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I am very afraid of going out in public for any reason.  I do sometimes, when I have to like to the doctors, but its a draining experience.  I look different, a lot of people dont understand why I am.  A lot of people choose not to even agree with my existence.  I am lucky that NZ is a pretty progressive country, and people mostly leave you be, but when I go out, people are visibly uncomfortable around me and stare a lot.  I want to not care about peoples opinions and judgement on how I look,  but its very hard.  Mum says ive always been pretty sensitive, and its true. I have always cared too much about what others think.  I want to go out feeling confident again but I dont know how.  Gaming was another excuse to stay home.  But I dont want to be afraid of going out anymore.  I dont even think its dangerous.  I just get very overwhelmed by everyone.

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I am sorry you feel like that. People can be jerks but every single person has the legal right to go about their lawful business and it is against the law to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

So stick your shoulders back and put your head up high and spit the world, right in the eye!

Not gaming will make you feel more confident. I think you are beautiful and brave and my new forum friend.

🙂

 

Edited by Guest
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I had a lot of social anxiety and know the feeling of being overwhelmed really good. In my case 
this problem was caused that I was afraid of being rejected. But I also had a really low
serotonine level due to my depression. I did a lot of meditation but since fixing these levels I am
less overwhelmed. I fixed it with a supplement called 5-HTP, but speak to your doctor and do
some research on it, if you want to try it.

Those two things helped me a lot. I am not completely free of social anxiety but my level of
overwhelm is down to 10% from 100%. The main cause was that I had a depression and
treating that got me less sensitive - but in a positive way.  

I have to go outside every day but since I am not so overwhelmed anymore I really enjoy
my time outside. It's a little bit easier but still a challenge.

Edited by mks
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Hi LadyRen 🙂

I hope I can help you with this! See, it is completely normal that you care about how others think and feel about you. After all, you are a human being, and we human beings are very social creatures, designed to care about how others see us! This is natural part of ourselves, and so there's no reason for it to make us angry or ashamed. In fact, it is helpful and necessary to help us make friends and belong and live in a community.

Now, this part of us can sometimes become a bit unbalanced and overstep its limits, and do us more harm than good. Social anxiety is a good example: your fear of how others will think or feel about you is actually causing you more pain and stress than helping you, and making you take not-so-helpful choices like almost never leaving home. So what we want here is to dial back a bit on this anxiety and restore it to its constructive role, to restore its balance.

So this means that we don't really want to suppress or fight back the anxiety, or try not to care about others opinions - this usually won't work and can ever worsen our anxiety! Instead, we just want to allow it to continue being a part of ourselves, but without exaggeration! So, allow yourself to care about what others think - it's a natural part of you - and don't fight it back or try to suppress it. If instead you understand it and your need for connection and even approval, and you give that part, that need of yourself your care, your attention and your compassion, it will begin to heal. And as you yourself begin attending to it and showing that need of you your care, it will begin to calm down and feel more fulfilled.

And this is when you will begin feeling more self-confident and understanding that your self-esteem doesn't really depend on others or their thoughts and opinions about you. You will understand that it really only depends on how you treat and feel about yourself, and that no one else has the obligation to like you (and even so, some do like you - how amazing!). And this doesn't mean you stop caring about other people or your relationships - not at all! You should care, as it is a natural and necessary part of you, and in truth friends are one of the best things of this life! But you should only want to have those relationships with those that truly like you, and allow everyone else to have their opinions and thoughts - which are just opinions and thoughts and don't really affect you. And maybe if someday they know you better, they will begin thinking in a different way...

At last, if you do look different than "normal", then don't be surprised if people in the street look at you - you would do the same! When I see someone different in the street, I always pay some attention to them - it's just how our human minds work. So do expect that and know it is natural - you are as you are and that's how you are 🙂

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...

Ohh man, I understand you so freaking much. I mean seriously, I am a really sensitive person, and I am really getting affected by a lot of insignificant factors. I have suffered a lot of depression and anxiety throughout my entire life. Even more, during the last year, I have been really constantly anxious. It was all caused by lockdown, all those terrible news regarding the pandemic and so on an so forth. My brother actually advised me to get kratom capsules buy. You know, I did not believe it would help me, however it proved to be the best solution against anxiety.

Edited by Massron
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