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NEW VIDEO: I Replaced Gaming With Real Life (Nicco Transformation)

My Journal of Hope


philipjd905

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Day 1: 12/04/20 (3:39pm)

I don't know how I am going to write in this journal. Maybe just write the worksheets I've done, or express how I wanna play games but shouldn't. I don't know why I'm getting help now when I should've gotten it earlier, maybe because of the pandemic. But its okay, better now than never. I wrote my thoughts on my phone, literally anything coming into my mind. My mind was stuck on why is my girlfriend losing love for me, and why can I not get over my gaming addiction. We discussed it so many times, but I continued with it because I thought everything was okay, and it just got worse. And since its an LDR, we don't know if its truly communication or lack of quality time together, maybe both. And I know if I focus on this, I might lose her because I'm working on myself. I just don't know what to do to prevent us from leaving, to gain my confidence and self-love back, to fix my relationships, to go back to my other interests/hobbies that were alongside gaming. So I thought that if I fix one problem, that it may affect my other problems positively instead of going negative when the problem isn't fixed. 

Step 1: Write down the reasons why you play - I play to socialize with friends, to show others my skills online and locally, to relieve boredom/waste time, to complete quests and achievements that were pre-set for me, to win, to avoid doing school work, to avoid being alone.

Step 2: I want to quit playing video games because: I want to have a sense of control, I want to have stable, personal relationships, I lost interests in music and going outside, I eat and drink less than I should - I miss meals unintentionally just because my mind is focused somewhere else, and I fell more tired and bored when I don't play. 

Step 3: Emotions I'm experiencing - Hopeless, scared, heartbroken, bored, self-hatred

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