My relapse and what I take away from it.

[Captain_Pilz]

All right, let's face it, I relapsed! After I had finished my exams on Monday a vacuum appeared. I got ill, I didn't know what to do since my short term goal was accomplished and due to COVID school is closed. These are the reasons, I relapsed. I had no purpose, nothing to wake up for and to be honest, even going to school in the morning works to set me up. However, this is not going to stay like that. What am I supposed to strive for when all of this is finished in 2 months? To summarize, I relapsed because I don't have any long term goals.

And this is not the only thing I learned. Relapse after relapse, they become shorter and shorter and shorter. The last one was two weeks. This one was three days! I am improving. 

In addition, while watching YouTube, which I did a lot, I realized that content creators spend a massive amount of time making their videos. I would love creating the things they are creating but it would cost me an abundance of time and dedication. I better spend this time growing and not investing it into video games.

[Henri Latiffe]

I hear you on that word growing.

Sometimes I feel like I must be a child. I got this recently and it's super amazing in waking me up.

https://www.amazon.com/HAVENT-ONLINE-GAMING-INTERNET-DISORDER-ebook/dp/B085PNXJTB/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=WHY+HAVEN%27T+YOU+QUIT+ONLINE+GAMING%3F&qid=1584823160&sr=8-1

I have goals, dreams, desires and all that stuff but I'm an addict, so even then I have to learn how to get to the other side.