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Self made miracle

Back to square one

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Day 0

I'm 26 years old and I've been gaming for such a long time now. I don't have a job and I still live with my mom. I'm so tired of living like this.

I decided today that I want to make the rest of my life into something that I can be proud of. Quitting gaming and getting over that addiction will be the first step to accomplishing that. 

Uninstalled all my games and did all the legwork to delete my characters. Going to spend the rest of the day researching possible ideas to get back to school or the workplace.

That's all for today. See you tomorrow.

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Day 1

Woke up at 5:30 in the morning and just couldn't go back to sleep. Way to stressed out. Oh, well. Maybe it'll be the start of a good habit for once.

I decided that I would like to take on a master's program, but I'll need to take a few more classes first and those won't open until January of next year. Since I have nothing to do I think I'll study for my GRE now and see if I can preemptively knock that out. Will post later today to update you guys on how that's going.

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Day 1 contd

What I did today

  • The cravings were really bad today but I also found that I had a lot of time to do work. Spent a couple hours studying for the GRE today. I didn't do so hot but I think I'll be able to get better with practice. I also found a flashcard set online that's 570 words. I think it'll really help me out for studying for the verbal section.
  • I made a template for my journal! 
  • Finished the orientation for community college and scheduled a session with the counselor for next week to get squared away for next semester. As I said in the post above I'll need a few classes to complete requirements so that I can apply for a graduate program.
  • I think now that I have a lot of time I'd like to get more into fitness. I don't have to look like Thor or anything but I'd like to have a figure and appearance that I can look at in the mirror and be proud of. I've also dreamed for years about competing in a triathlon. I think I'd be really proud of myself if I could finish that one day.

What I'm happy about

Not much today. But I do have a vision for a future that doesn't involve gaming and for that I'm very grateful.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 6
  • Hours of work: 2
  • Hours of Internet: 4
  • Meals: 3
  • Exercise: No. Will look to start tomorrow
  • 20 card vocab flashcard practice: Yes; one session
Edited by Self made miracle
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Hello @Self made miracle,

You've already made several small steps towards a brighter future.  I also think it's great that you're reading other people's journals to hopefully gain some tips and a realization that you're not alone in the struggle.  I don't have a gaming addiction currently, but I did some years ago.  I used gaming as a coping mechanism to escape despair and depression after learning about my cousin's suicide.  I gamed for an entire year 10-12 hours per day.  This included not sleeping well, eating poorly, having absolutely no social life, and all the while living under my parent's roof.  Unbelievably, I kept my gaming a secret from them.  They only assumed I was fast asleep or watching television.

Anyhow, enough of me.

From what I've seen around here, people develop their own pace with overcoming addiction.  Some plunge into various activities to keep their mind distracted and themselves busy.  Others go for a more leisurely approach; and attempt a few activities at a time to adjust.  I took the latter approach because it just suits my personality.  Also, a lot of people got rid of any gaming console or DVD or whatever reminds them of gaming.  

Be kind to yourself if you stumble too.  It's hard enough putting pressure on ourselves beyond what social media and society expects of us.  

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Day 2

What I did today

  • I went to bed very late last night--almost 2 pm. I should definitely have gone to bed earlier but I was just so restless. As a result I didn't get up until about 9 today. Ironically I was really lethargic in the morning too and stayed in bed until almost 1 just watching videos on my phone.
  • Did my daily practice of vocab flashcards.
  • Went to the gym today. I'm super weak but it felt good to get some endorphins going.
  • Not much else. Did a couple of practice sections for the verbal part of the GRE. Handed out candy to some children.

What I'm happy about

Slow start to my day but I was able to turn it around a bit. Still having some trouble staying on task with the internet sometimes, but I figure I can let it slide for now as long as I'm getting my work done and not gaming. As @CornishGameHen said it's probably best to avoid burning myself out too soon.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 7
  • Hours of work: 2
  • Hours of Internet: 5
  • Meals: 2
  • Exercise: Yes; Leg day.
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Day 3,4

What I did today

  • Just a couple quiet days spent mostly with friends. Studied my daily 20 vocab words and did a couple of GRE sections, but mostly just relaxed.
  • Went grocery shopping and made sure to buy a lot of fruits, power greens and other so-called "superfoods." Now that I'm exercising I really want to eat well as well to get the most out of that time.
  • My ticket to delete my league of legends account was finally accepted and my character is scheduled for deletion on December 2. Finally got the confirmation email today.
  • Been sleeping super late so I'm going to look to fix that tonight.

What I'm happy about

Getting a little streak going for studying. And spending quality time with friends.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 7
  • Hours of work: 2
  • Hours of Internet: 2
  • Meals: 2 each day
  • Exercise: Mostly just running because the gym is so crowded on weekends.

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Day 5

What I did today

  • Daylight savings today, and stayed up pretty late last night watching a movie, so didn't really get up until 12.
  • Went running in the afternoon at the track near my place. Was super tiring because I'm really out of shape, but quite refreshing at the same time.
  • Been making some meals for myself lately. Usually simple stuff like a sandwich or cooked chicken with rice and power greens. Loving it.
  • Had a lot of urges to game today, so to get rid of those urges I ended up playing some chess online. I don't know if that counts as a relapse since chess does have a lot of positive effects on the brain.

What I'm happy about

I worked out, I cooked for myself, and I beat a lot of noobs at chess. Feels good not spending the whole day playing League of Legends.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 7
  • Hours of work: 1
  • Hours of Internet: 8
  • Meals: 3
  • Exercise: Running

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Day 6-7

What I did today

  • Wasn't a whole lot to write about; two generally quiet days. I cooked all my meals and worked out chest and shoulders following a workout plan I found online.

What I'm happy about

Not a whole lot. These days just haven't been very eventful. I have a meeting with a counselor at the community college tomorrow so I guess I'm a little excited about that. It'll be a nice change of pace to get me out of the damn house.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 7
  • Hours of work: 2 each day
  • Hours of Internet: 8+ each day
  • Meals: 3 each day
  • Exercise: Yes for both days

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Day 8

What I did today

  • Quiet morning. Did some work for the GRE.
  • Went to the counseling meeting I had at the community college. It was really good and I got a lot of my classes and stuff squared away.
  • The afternoon and evening is when the whole day just went to hell in a handbasket honestly. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life prior to starting this journey and some of those mistakes really caught up with me in a huge and overwhelming way yesterday. My mom made me do a bunch of chores and it was really hard to get through those when all I wanted to do was go to bed and be alone.

What I'm happy about

I guess the counseling meeting went alright. I also learned how to break down a chicken and clean/fillet a fish, so I guess I learned something, even if I had the hear the whole time how bad I was at it.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 8
  • Hours of work: 1
  • Hours of Internet: 1
  • Meals: 3
  • Exercise: Not today

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Day 9

What I did today

  • Sleep mostly, lol. I slept almost 15 hours and didn't get up until 2 in the afternoon. Still did some prep for the GRE though. I still do very poorly on the verbal section because my vocabulary knowledge isn't there yet, but I did do very well on math.

What I'm happy about

Still got them Algebra skills even after being over ten years removed from those classes.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 15
  • Hours of work: 3
  • Hours of Internet: 3
  • Meals: 3
  • Exercise: Not today

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Day 10

What I did today

  • Dentist appointment and gre prep. But mostly just chilling with friends and watching shows online.

What I'm happy about

The worst of what happened on day 8 and 9 is hopefully passed over now. I'm not proud of so many things that I've done in my life, but with those things gone I can truly begin this new journey of self improvement.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: Been sleeping a lot recently. Almost 15 hours again. I think I might be a little depressed after everything that's happened.
  • Hours of work: 2
  • Hours of Internet: 8
  • Meals: 2
  • Exercise: Not today. Actually I felt extremely sore this week from having worked out on Monday. It was hard to even put on clothes and stuff. So I'm glad I took a little break from exercising. Will start again next week.

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Good luck on the GRE's!

When it comes to exercising focus on consistency and not trying to "push" yourself.
Do a little bit each time at least just so you can mark that day on your calendar and say to yourself "you did it".

Edited by Avnat Netzer
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Day 11

What I did today

Solid day of work today. I got up late, but I also did my daily set of vocabulary flashcards, and did two practices for the GRE verbal section. There's definitely still room for improvement, but my scores are already looking a lot better compared to when I started.

What I'm happy about

Doing much better on my verbal section.

Other:

  • Hours of sleep: 7. Slept way too late last night, like 4 am lol.
  • Hours of work: 4
  • Hours of Internet: 8? 9? 10? Gotta start cutting down on this. It's okay now because I'm still getting my practice done for the GRE and need the destressing to deal with the issues I'm going through, but I definitely need to reduce it later.
  • Meals: Two...ish. Both junk food meals.
  • Exercise: Starting again on Monday.
Edited by Self made miracle

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