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Harryvar

Games - taking away from the rest of my life...

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Hi I'm Harry, and what I can tell you about myself is that I used to have many hobbies, but over the past few years I have mainly been passing the time with one thing- you guessed it gaming. 

I have enjoyed video games ever since I received a Gameboy Advance as a present at a young age, it was harmless fun beating Pokemon leaders with friends. Now it has become a way of life. It ruined my year at university (I only had 18% attendance in my Japanese course due to playing late and sleeping in when I should have been immersing myself in another language). It ruined relationships with family, friends and potential partners and meant I was eating badly. A Dominos and Smash Bros was a standard night in, which really should have been socialising and a night out. It got to a point where cheaper controllers weren't enough for me and I even dipped into my student loan and splashed out on some beast of a controller for 'expert play'. None of my other friends were doing this, they seemed to be filling their time with enriching activities such as yoga, running, cooking elaborate meals, having fun, going out and just living life to the fullest just as any 20 year old deserves. 

I came here after being advised by my caring parents, but I can see that quitting is the only way. The only question is is how?? I have communities of 'friends' I can rely on out there and feel complete when gaming, but is this a life worth living? I have started with Respawn and have found the advice thorough and very considered and coming from a very honest place of experience. I am reaching out to anyone else in such a position, what struggles have you had? Or even better what success have you had in the absence of gaming? Can anyone relate to what I'm going through? I am struggling with as things are, I hadn't played for 20 days until yesterday when I did for an hour and since then I have felt bored and empty just like I did in the other 20 days for the most of the time. How do you pass the time and get the same amount of satisfaction in your life? I'd love to hear. I am at the beginning of my journey, am looking to share my feelings to get me feeling like my old self when I didn't need to rely on gaming to escape from feelings.

Thanks for reading my first post on here, realising that others are in my position helps me feel less alone. I'd be interested to see any responses so don't be shy! 

Thanks,

Harry.

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Mate, sounds like you have made a very important and intelligent first step! That is the hardest step to make. Now it's all about one foot after the other.

In relation to how to fill the time, you will be initially blown away by how much spare time you have without firing up games. It can be almost overwhelming, which causes people to relapse and go back to filling it with gaming.

The way I got around with it is with concepts from the Millionaire Morning. Now I caveat this with not actually having read the Millionaire Morning, but after reading and listening to so many books that keep referring to the principles of it. Anyway, get up early and before start getting ready for the day, make a list of things you want to achieve. You can break them down into what you want to achieve in a year, a month, a week, and a day. Then break those down into bite size tasks to get there. Using running as an example because that's my go-to and you mentioned it, lets say your yearly goal is to run a marathon. TO achieve that, you should try to run a bit or exercise every day. So your daily tasks now includes doing some exercise.

Once you have done that (this may take some time for the first time you do it, I got a life/leadership coach to help initially) then you will have quite a healthy list of daily tasks. If you tell yourself, hey you can't play games or waste time/consume content until it's all done for the day, your productivity will be huge. Before long, you'll find the day is over and you haven't had any spare time to even consider gaming.

Of course that is an overly simple way of explaining it, and you will have to tailor it to your own circumstances/style, but I am happy to keep helping you as you progress through your journal! All the best mate.

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