My New Beginning

[jondolan1992]

Hey all, 

 

My name is Jonny, and I have been gaming since as far back as I can remember. I started at a really young age - probably around 3 or 4 - through playing with my sister and/or dad. We had a lot of fun playing together, and I absolutely felt that it was a way to help us bond. From there, my parents got me a TV for my room, and everything changed for the worse. I would lock myself in my room for hours playing video games, shutting myself away from everything else. This pattern continued on-and-off through middle and high school. However, it didn't become apparent that I had a problem with gaming until I got into college. I was able to skate through high school and get pretty good grades with minimal effort, and I thought that my gaming intake was normal for a guy my age. However, when I got into college, I found that I had to truly apply myself to be successful. Eventually, I concluded that I could be successful in college and quit gaming, or quit college, play video games and feel mediocre about myself. 

Fortunately, I was able to quit gaming for a few years. I went through the game quitters cycle once, and found that it helped me ENORMOUSLY! It gave me the conventions I needed to restructure my life in a healthy way. Unfortunately, I ended up returning to gaming when I broke my wrist and had to have surgery. Although I knew it was dangerous for me to venture into gaming again, I felt that it was the only thing to numb myself from the incessant post-surgery pain and profound boredom. Fast forward a year, and I have "quit" and relapsed at least ten times. I have since moved into an apartment by myself and work at a pretty demanding job, which I have found both to be stressful. With that, I am having difficulty restructuring my life after having moved out on my own. Therefore, I ashamedly resort to gaming or smoking weed to cope with my emotions. I feel so ashamed, defeated, helpless, and guilty. I can remember how happy I was when I quit, and I want so desperately to quit for good. 

 

Thanks for reading, everyone.

[Cam Adair]

Hey Jonny, welcome to the forums. 

[jondolan1992]

Thanks Cam,

i want to write that I really admire everything that you have done for the game quitting community. I have found your videos inspiring and insightful. Although quitting video games is a difficult and sometimes heart-wrenching process, I find solace know that others like you have done it successfully. 

[Cam Adair]

Thank you!