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My first journal.


sweblade
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                                                                                                                                                                                 DAY 1 

 

Hello! Alexander here, i,m from sweden and i,m 23 years old.  I'm new on the forum. I am an video game addict. I have been playing video games since i can remember and it slowly started to destroy my life, and every one around me. I didn't see it, i didn't want to either. i've had so many relapses i can't even remember, i gave up trying to be game-free. Like there was no chance for me anymore, began feeling depressed, had constant anxiety. feelings of committing suicide. Nothing was working for me.11 months ago i realised i had an alcohol problem, A quite severe one. I realised i was an alcoholic. I began rehab march 2018, and the rehab centre forced me to quit games in june 2018. I wanted to quit the rehab but i stayed.

i've had 6 months gaming free at 26th december 2018, and im closing in on 1 year sober from alcohol.

 But i then decided to buy rocket leauge and start a game, i then realised what i was doing and that i had reached to far to begin to game again, it was just not worth it for me! I'm so grateful that i got to that realisation. i got 24 days as of today gaming free. This will be the first day i will be doing my journal. I hope this will be a safe place.

 

I've had some cravings today to play heartstone on my mobile, but managed to shot them down, got into a few highscore lists. My goal tomorrow is to not go to any sites, or youtube. And to finish my Assignment before i'm starting university again on monday after my rehab.
I've played around 2 hours on my guitar.
I've talked with mom and dad alot today.
Joined game quitters today.
Read alot of posts on the forum.
I went to the barber to get a new haircut, it felt realy nice.
 
I will be back tomorrow // Alexander.
                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                               




 

Edited by sweblade
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Hey, Alex! Welcome to the forum! This is a safe place to jot down your feelings and thoughts during the detox. If you need any advice or tips, feel free to PM me. I hope that you can succeed.

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 Day 2

Hello friends! Day 1 no fap and gaming free. I decided to kick things up a notch and introduce no-fap to the mix. this will be a challenge for sure. But i think i will make it. Oh man...
I got to bed late last night, i was checking youtube like usual, that's a habit i realy want to get rid of..

I woke up late aswell, around 2 pm. Atleast i felt realy rested ^_^ I didn't go to the gym today like i planned, i didnt meditate either..
I havent't had any cravings today, just some small flashs that went away fast. I've been playing the guitar for 2 hours today, which was realy fun. I made some food with my mom, it's nice to feel not stressed. You know that feeling of rushing through the day just so you can play later. So i made food in no hurry for a change. That was nice. I started with my assignment for tomorrow but i didn't see it through. Got stuck on music videos on youtube. Can't seem to help myself. But i did progress a bit atleast, i'm planning to continue tomorrow before school starts at 1pm. 
I'm a litte anxious about tomorrow i must say, but it will be fine i hope. To meet all the new students in my class and all. It's quite exiting.

I will be seeing you all tomorrow. Looking forward day 2 of no fap and no gaming. I actualy never fixed 10 days or more avoiding both. So it will truly be a challenge to get to 90 days. But i will do my very best.

Alexander

Edited by sweblade
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there once was a man named Alexander

who couldn't spend a day staying sober

when his life lost all its glitters

he wisely joined gamequitters

he doesn't play and is no longer a loser

 

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I'm sure u can do at least 11 days this time!

Hope for 90! ?

I know how hard it is!! I adore your resolve!

Edited by arq
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                                                                                                                                                                   Day 3

    Hello my friends. I was up a loong time last night, probably until around 5am :0 I woke up at 12 am. I read a bit in the bible, and alot of youtube once again..
    Today was my first day in my new class, it was nice! We got our assignments and decided to meet up with my new group on wednesday. I got a free day tomorrow so i plan to finish my          old asignment once and for all! 
    I Played some tennis with my dad today, went to the gym and played som guitar. It was a productive day i must say. But i relapsed with the whole no-fap story last night. So i will be doing      this once again. Day 1 of no-fap and no gaming. Damn.. I wont give up, and i wont give in! It seems like staying up late is a bit of a trigger for me. So i will try to get to bed earlier today.

   I will see you all tomorrow!

   Alexander

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37 minutes ago, sweblade said:

                                                                                                                                                                   Day 3
...I read a bit in the bible....

care to share what exactly? your thoughts?

 

Stay strong man! 1 More day this time, at least!

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                                                                                                                                                        DAY 6

Hello all nice people! I've been offline for a few days here, but i have been doing very well actualy! I've been going to bed earlier, and waking up at 5am each morning. Been going to the gym and meditating in the mornings.
I am on day 4 with no fap and no gaming. I must say that i have been doing a good job not relapsing! ? 
My studies are going well with my gruoup, we are soon done with our first assignment, a quite big one actualy!
I will be working night in the weekend to come so that is a hard nut to crack, as i have been waking up so early in the mornings. But i will do my very best.
And for the bible study, i was reading book of genesis, first chapter. Wanted to start fresh and read from the very start, i will be trying to pick the reading up again today, as it felt nice! 

Hope you all have a wonderful day

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