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Cutler

My Journal - Cutler

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Days 1-5

I decided that I needed to get a journal started even though I don't really like sharing.  I have made it through five days now without playing.  I used to play 9+ hours of my 12 hours shifts at work.  I would play web based idle games mostly or anything else that looked fun.  I got worse about my playing after being at my current job for 3 years.  I have downloaded games and programs to have better access to games here.  I used an emulator to hide from my wife the mobile games I would play.   I started off my first day with deleting everything that I had and removing the backups and cache for web games.  It was very tough but I needed to remove them or else I would want to pick up where I left off on them.  Some how I have been given a blessing to not feel the cravings I normally do and have made the most of my time at work.  I have started to read the Power of Habit, to understand my addiction better.  

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Congrats on your 5 days!  I was pretty good at hiding my game habits from my wife too so I can relate.  How do you like the book so far?  I don't remember it in too much detail at this point, but it made a world of difference for me when I read it.

What are your motivations for quitting?  I quit because I saw myself becoming neglectful of my baby daughter and I hated the idea of continuing down that path.

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I am really enjoying the book.  The way that they discovered how Habits can still be created after the guys brain was messed up is incredible and that we can do the same thing as well but be in charge of making new habit loops.  That is some very powerful knowledge.   Things got to the point where my wife was kicking me out of the house or she would leave me with the kids because she couldn't be around me.  I have been a gaming addict for about 17 years and because of it, emotionally I am not really present most of the time.  So it got to a point where it was either I get clean now or we are no longer a family.  

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