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Gaming the System 006 - James' First 30 Days As a Digital Nomad in Thailand!

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Jay V

365 days Free-Gaming

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When I started this journey I had no hope, I had lost interest in college, family and life in general. Today I got a meaningful life.

Not everyone know what addiction is about, surely they think: "turn laptof off", "uninstall", "finish that level and go outside, go with friends". It may be partly true; that's the beggining, the step One.When you left a toxic relationship you began to realize that your reality was not as good as you believe it. Well, from this side of the screen, things were just chaos, I filled myself with doubts and fears; I started to feel lost, I mean, I started to feel all that negative moods I avoided gaming. And for the first time, I left a bit of my extremist rational personality and let each one of those negative emotions be assimilated, I transformed them into light, and only then did I begin to reach peace.

Sometimes, when I feel demotivated, and it is the feeling of wanting to resist the present, what I do? Look in retrospect and convince me that I am better person than when I started this adventure.

Putting myself into action, was the key of process, when I stopped looking for answers and explanations to everything, I realized that life is experiences and almost nothing that I extract from a book translates into wisdom; we really have to live to share it.

Outside, it is full of problems, debts, conflicts with Mom, gf, work stress; and then, in my case, I started to get frustrated, I isolate myself, but the difference is (although the game is always an option) I don't choose to play anymore, it doesn't connect with my principles anymore. I have accepted myself as a human being who is introverted, who feels differently from others, because I prefer to seek refuge in solitude, I am happy with a book, music and a coffee. That's my way of "having fun". 

 Do not underestimate the value of your family, to wake up accompanied, to share a coffee, a conversation. I lived in a virtual world, with virtual friends and virtual achievements. And when I returned to the real world, I had nothing. The true connection, the only spirituality that counts, is the human connection. If there is something to have faith in, it is to that. To feel loved, and when we returning home, we have someone to love.

I wanted to stop because I wanted something meaningful for my life. And this life is so unpredictable that it scares, but you know, it's the only space that gives you smiles. The game, the drugs, the alcohol, does not give you hugs, kisses, or advice, or calls you to tell you about your problems, does not tell you about your love affairs, your parents, does not laugh with you about your misfortunes, does not greet you from another continent to tell you that she is happy, it does not care about you, it doesn't listen to you, doesn't look for you when you just want to hide, a game doesn't support you, a game doesn't love you. The game left me on edge of suicide, and today I finally feel I'm a human being with sufficient motivation to keep waking up, with no depression, no migraines, without pain in my wrists and back, and there is nothing bigger and more sublime that having recovered my moral, my conscience, I've reinvented my identity, today I'm happy to know I am the main character, I'm the one who explores the map, who organizes my routine, I set  my own objectives, I pursue my goals; and just for today: I receive reward.

Every day is like a new match, and this reality is the only game that I wanted to take seriously. 

 

 

ps. sorry about bad english, not nattive

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