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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

We meet again Game Quitters! - My Story


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My name is Jani. I am turning 25 this year and I'm living in Kuopio, Finland. Initially, I found the Game Quitters community a little over a year ago, when I had just quit gaming and I was looking for some comfort and support to carry on with my decision. Now I noticed that my account had been removed/moved/hijacked (??? :D) and thus found it impossible to use my former account that I had here - would have come in handy to use my story from that account as a reference and I even tried searching the forums for my introduction back then. Well. Time to make a new one here. 

I was here actually before, how I got here again?

So I had been introduced to this community about a year and a half ago. I had been gaming compulsively for around 8 years straight and I noticed that my quality of life suffered heavily from that gaming (more to come about that soon...). What happened, was that I actually managed to quit, FOR SOME TIME. It was maybe around November 2016 when I quit and I didn't relapse, not even a single time, until maybe July 2017. I had sold/given away my computer and I kind of reunited with my "gaming friends". At first the idea of that felt so good because I never had too many friends overall and we actually didn't do gaming at that time. Also some other things happened but I think mainly the reason for relapsing and spending 1000€ again for a new PC, was that I reunited with those gaming friends, that of, maybe 1 or 2 have still been playing with me and have almost been my sole social network aside from my parents.

My history

I started gaming probably when I was 3 years old and been gaming ever since until now - not counting the break of 8 months last year. My studies were heavily affected by gaming (Counter-Strike, WoW and later my devil, League of Legends) and I almost dropped out of high school and suffered from depression for some time during my first two years of university studies. I am a computer science student in University of Eastern Finland and actually one reason of me relapsing was also related to my studies - the environment gave me too much influence to work around computers and all the discussions around me were gaming / game dev. related. This was a key factor. Then in Nov 2016 I decided to make a change, so I quit gaming cold turkey and started to pursue a degree in medicine (=the entrance exam), which is infamous for nothing else than studying so hard, that you basically can't have anything else in your life, until you get in. So I studied, 8 hours a day for over half a year, until ..... I failed the first entrance exam. Well. Again one key factor for the relapse. It was maybe two months after the exam when I said to myself something like: "Okay, you tried your best so you can't be mad at yourself. Now it's time to have fun thought, do you want to have fun? That's right, now you can play a little if you want to...". And so I joined my friends for a couple of matches of League of Legends. It was that evening of July or August last year, when I started feeling the regret and self-deceptive feelings, that I am feeling even right now when writing this post. I felt that after the entrance exam, it will be a significant time until the next time I can try it again, so I figured that maybe I can kill this time by playing League and trying to keep it in some safe limits. Surprisingly, I actually managed to keep playing for around max. 2-3 hours a day, sometimes not even playing every day during a week. This lasted from July 2017 until maybe 2018 February. 

So what happened in February? I apologize for opening up like this, but this is again one of the key things. I had been keeping my eyes open for girls for a long time already. During the time when I wasn't playing games, I actually didn't hook up with even a single girl - for obvious reasons like studying and doing sports and other stuff. January 2018 I then met a really nice girl, who was kind of everything that I had ever been dreaming of... I remembered ruining one relationship with gaming in like 2012, so this time I figured that maybe it's better to stay away from games again. What happened then? I wasn't feeling bad because I wasn't playing - I had the most awesome time with my new girlfriend and I was almost solely spending time with her, both of us enjoying it. Until it came to the point that the girl told me that she needs some space. I had gone too far. I wasn't playing games so there wasn't anything else in my life, than my girlfriend. And so she left me, or more like we decided to break up together. I felt devastated and I still feel - this all happened like a month ago. Now ever since that, I have been playing League for 5-15 games every day (= á 30min/game + other gaming activity => 5-14 hours a day). I'm having the next medicine entrance exam in just 1,5 months from now and I feel really scared that I am gonna fail that too now because of gaming so much. I still feel that I am not even ready to quit but my mind tells me that I should. Even before posting this, I was thinking that "maybe I can take a break now for the rest of the evening and play again tomorrow. I am really afraid I am a lost cause already because nothing else in life seems meaningless, intresting or fun anymore at the very moment. Of course most of this is only temporary but nonetheless I still feel really scared and most of it is because usually my mind tells me to stop playing but not this time (I have been doing pretty well in ranked ladders in League now so I also get to feel moments of success through gaming daily => keeps me more addicted).

There is a silver lining too, I already made a working contract for the summer to come so that will keep me occupied, I have been actively going to the gym all this time since I quit gaming last time and I also play guitar in a band. 

So, this is my Hail Mary now - only half-ready to commit on quitting, but ready to hear your opinions on my situation and how I should proceed about this. Support is needed and I will certainly be thankful for it. I did it once already, maybe a second time too? :)

Sorry for a really long post.


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12 hours ago, Dannigan said:

Hey there and welcome back Jani!

It sounds like you're on the fence deciding whether to quit gaming or not.  If you look back at your post, you mentioned that you now play 4-14 hours a day League of Legends.  That behavior pattern hasn't changed.  It will not change until you take gaming away from your life for a period of time.  Your medicine entrance exam is only 1.5 months away.  Is it realistic to allow gaming into your life when the exam is so close?  Considering that your habit of gaming is out of control?

Here's a couple of scenarios. 

1)  You might fail this exam a second time, even if you studied for it. 

2)  You will definitely fail this exam if you didn't study because you're too focused on gaming. 

This is just my humble opinion, and what I would do.  I'd rather quit the gaming, study my butt off for this exam, even if there's a chance I'll fail.  At least I know that I gave it my best shot.  I'd feel worse not studying for the exam, and focusing my time on gaming. 

This is a matter of prioritizing your life.  This is an opportunity.  It is 1.5 months until the exam.  If you choose the BLUE pill, you will feel proud of yourself for at least trying.  If you choose the RED pill, you'll feel guilt, anger at yourself, and you'll cave into the addiction of video gaming. 

Also, sometimes in life, things don't go our way.  Whether it be relationships, career choices, school, health.  People have survived those challenges and feelings of failure without being addicted to games, or turning to games for comfort.  One hour gaming will turn into 2 hours.....then 4 hours....then 10 hours....then 14 hours....and pretty soon, you'll be looking back at the past year and saying to yourself "WTF just happened?  i have nothing to show for reaching any goals in life.  Except that I won a few matches in League of Legends."

I hope you choose the right pill, brother.  And we're here for you, I'm glad you're back.

~ Dani

12 hours ago, Cam Adair said:

Welcome back Jani! There was an unfortunate incident around some of our accounts. Do you know what your username was? I will double check for you.


Wow, thanks for giving some time for such a response! 

I am definitely in the brink of deciding. Usually the decision has been really easy to make after getting too much frustrated by losing streaks in-game or by bad teammates/missing school/making friends mad etc. Now I have been waiting for such a thing and it's really hard to quit, when everything is going so well for me in the game after all these years of training. Jeez, I think this is about willpower this time. Willpower and just the strength to keep on a decision.  You mentioned considering that this habit is out of control. Well, it is :D Who am I to cheat here, if not myself? Also to make things clear, I have been studying for 3-6 hours daily since January so I have a good chance of passing the exam, but ONLY if I keep studying even more now and that might be the biggest motivation for me to quit. So even though the exam will be there in such a short period of time now, I have already given something like 3,5 months of studying (+ the same studies once earlier, last year).  

Maybe the thing is that I really need something like 30 days without gaming first, to get used to the real life again and to start feeling good about doing other things too because of the dopamin-endorfin - system, that rewards us when playing games. Also, it's true that I am a kind of person who would feel bad for myself if I failed the exam because of gaming only. I remember writing some kind of a journal here daily when I used to be on this forum. Maybe that could help even now? I don't know, last time I found it not to be too helpful, more like enlightening maybe - and also keeping my thoughts in not gaming and to have something else to do at the same time. 

I think it's time to put my PC away now, lock it down to a warehouse or something. Actually it has taken me something like 10 minutes to write this reply now and I started feeling that I can do this. Dannigan, I want to sincerely thank you for your reply, you might have just changed something in this young man's life :) Now I need to start figuring what to do next - after getting rid of this PC. 


And for Cam, thank you! My username used to be Yani, I'd be glad if you checked it :) 

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3 hours ago, Dannigan said:

Whoa.  Ok.  This is not the reason you should be looking for, in order to quit gaming.  This is your mind rationalizing with you to continue gaming a bit longer.  "Oh, I'll just wait until I have another bad gaming day with my online friends.  That'll push  me to quit for sure!  Or, I'm doing pretty bad in this game, I might as well quit!"  No no no......this is only making you wait a bit longer for those moments to happen, in order to keep you in the game.


Maybe the thing you need is the full 90 day detox.  What is preventing you from committing 100%? You can still look upon the first 30 days as an achievement, but with a long-term goal to complete 90 days.  I think this is another trick to rationalize something, but I'm not sure what that is.  Let's say that you only complete 30 days of detox.  What next?  What are your long-term goals to stay off video games?  What are your plans?  Do you really think 30 days is going to be enough to reset the brain's dopamine system, to deal with emotions that will come up that you've been suppressing through gaming, to deal with a complete lifestyle change as you attempt to replace gaming with other activities?  Is 30 days enough time to deal with withdrawal symptoms? 

That's a good idea.  Writing a journal will help you express some sh!t that you're about to feel.  Because it's gonna get real pretty fast as you detox.  What you're going to go through will be a common experience with many of us.  You're going to get to know YOURSELF a hell of a lot better too.  Trust me.  All the good parts of yourself and the bad.  It's quite a journey.  Ideally, at the end of 90 days, you've already changed your lifestyle, you won't crave video gaming, and you feel happier, more fulfilled, your emotions are less erratic, you are growing as a person.  I hope that everyone will reach that stage eventually. 

Good for you in deciding to store away the PC!  A step in the right direction, that's for sure!!



Nice effort on that one again, I appreciate it :)! I am writing this on my phone, so can't go too much into details. Surely the thing for me right now is the full 90 day detox, going to get started with that. I just mentioned the 30 day -thing to illustrate some kind of time frame for getting rid of the withdrawals, boredom and social anxiety. This is not the first time I'm quitting games so I already know it will take me some time to get adjusted. But that was just an example :) I think the main thing is that I am on the right path right now - I feel that I might have chosen the right pill. Also you are right about the mindset that I had - the one in which I am waiting for bad games etc. I was thinking about it today and I found out that I need to be rational about the whole thing.

Then this helped too: I visualized myself achieving my goal in League of Legends - that was maybe me being in the top 200 players of my server - and then I thought "what now when I achieved what I wanted to achieve? Did I achieve anything in life? Nope. Anything valuable? Nope. Does anyone acknowledge what I did? Maybe in the League community, but somewhere else? Don't think so." 

Something will definitely hit the fan in the weeks to come. I am glad to count on this community. Thanks again!

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7 hours ago, Cam Adair said:

I merged your old account with your new one.

Thanks! I started a new journal before noticing this though. It's actually better that way because I feel that I started something new. I went through my old journal too now and the struggle there really doesn't differ a lot from what it's at the moment!

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