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thetimehascome

Back to the beginning. This time for good

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Day #1,

I've attempted to quit before. The closest I've made it to the 90 day detox was 88 days. My life had been improving due to it, but I keep allowing the though "games are fun in my spare time" to sneak back in. Every time it robs me of opportunity to better my life, most recently interfering with my university studies and lowering my grades.

I'm done for 90 days, and longer after that. I don't want to submit to the emptiness that is my gaming addiction any more.

Thanks all. I look forward to embracing this community fully.

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Welcome once again! I hope you all the success possible. As someone stated on my journal, you're more experienced now. You know what the pitfalls and tripwire traps are of this addiction. So if you focus on keeping out those little "well, they are super fun" type things, then you'll be fine. I imagine if you really think about it, you don't even find them all that fun anyway.

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On 1/22/2018 at 5:43 PM, J(e)RK said:

Welcome once again! I hope you all the success possible. As someone stated on my journal, you're more experienced now. You know what the pitfalls and tripwire traps are of this addiction. So if you focus on keeping out those little "well, they are super fun" type things, then you'll be fine. I imagine if you really think about it, you don't even find them all that fun anyway.

Thanks J(e)RK. Great username by the way :P Doesn't fit your message though hahaha.

You're right for sure man. The idea that games are there to trip me up, and that's all they have done. You're also right about the fun that they don't really provide. Just an escape, and after that escape I have to deal with the consequences, which are never good.

I hope you're doing well in your recovery as well. How far along are you? Any specific tips or tricks to stop a relapse?

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Day #2 of no gaming.

Feels good man. A solid day at school, and getting ready for my Math 0130 (grade 12 math) test tomorrow. I'm doing grade 12 math again this semester because last semester I gave in to VG addiction. I'm grateful to do it again, and I'm keeping in my mind the cost of gaming last semester.

I have planned this weekend to sell my videocards from my home PC, and thanks to the Cryptocurrency boom I hope to make back a decent amount of $$$. Perfect for a student with many years to go.

To anyone reading this, keep going on your journey too. I've fallen off too many times, but I'm always going to comeback here. I'm working hard to make this the last time I come back. I want to be a fixture here and share my experience with others like so many here have done before me.

Keep on going, not gaming makes us better, it makes me better.

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Day #3.

Feeling good today... I have my day clearly planned out, and I know what I would like to accomplish. Being early onto gamequitters.com to leave my message is just a step in continuing the momentum I've been building already this morning.

Staying aware of my thoughts, it amazes me how pervasive gaming has become again in my thought process. It just peaks up from nowhere repeatedly, throughout the day.

I'm in the process of making decisions regarding whether to get rid of this ridiculously overpowered gaming laptop I'm writing this very message on. I like ehow powerful it is, but I also feel it's a potential liability as it provides a gateway to get back to the old bad haabits.

Looking back at my motivations for getting this laptop in the first place shows me how clear my purpose really was to fall into the old trap. I bought this laptop so I could game away from home so i wouldn't feel guilty for gaming in front of my significant other. Pretty insidious, but a direct continuation of the dishonesty that surrounded my continued gaming abuse.

It's interesting to examine my behaviours, and this journal over the next 90 days should prove a great way to dive into my thoughts and motivations for clinging to my own destructive gaming behaviours.

Now for a good day ahead.

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43 minutes ago, thetimehascome said:

Staying aware of my thoughts, it amazes me how pervasive gaming has become again in my thought process. It just peaks up from nowhere repeatedly, throughout the day.

This is big. I believe you just helped me to better understand the very definition of addiction. It’s not how much time you play, but where your thoughts keep going. Fellow day 3 here, keep up the good work

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Keep your laptop if you want to make use of it. I'm using my (pre-) gaming setup as a family PC for my video editing and my sister's photoshop purposes. You can sell it otherwise. 

Also, the random gaming-related thoughts in your subconsciousness will disappear slowly. You just have to keep up with the detox. (It's been months since my first attempt and I'm finally living days without thinking about gaming at all.) 

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Admittedly, I am only on day 7 of my first detox. However, I made it one month before, and I can confidently say that the two things that tripped me up the most were other people's questions and my own forgetting why I quit in the first place. Really, they are the same thing, just that they can kinda grow exponentially due to each other.

To deal with the first one, just try to think to yourself why you really quit. Obviously, it is an addiction, but that answer was eventually rationalized away by me because "If I can quit for a month at will, how could it be an addiction?", so you want another reason. What do you want to pursue? If there isn't any reason that you wanted to stop being addicted, then it doesn't really make any difference, now does it? Once you can answer the question of, as specifically as possible, why you quit, that should help you with staying quit.

Oh, and for the record, my username is my initials, just with an added e in parentheses.

Edited by J(e)RK
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Day #4

Time is flying by. My focus on studies the past few days have been fantastic. This is exactly the reason why I quit gaming, and why I don't want to go back.

I'm working hard at school, and keeping myself on task, as opposed to endlessly browsing reddit for new games or hardware for my gaming PC.

The gaming thoughts still come regularly, but I appreciate the assurances from others that these will abate in time. I'm glad to actually be posting in this forum consistently. My previous times I've quit, I used the subreddit Stopgaming, also set up by Mr. Adair. I'm working to limit my use of reddit as well as it is a major time sink with next to no benefit, so I'm doing my journal here.

Thanks for the encouragement all. Reading your stories really helps me as well. Keep up the great work and lets get through this together!

 

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Day #5:

The power of habit is fascinating. This morning, as I was walking to the bus stop to go to university, my mind kept attempting to direct my attention towards what games I would play this weekend. I mention habit because for the past two weekends in a row, I would be at home from friday through sunday, playing videogames and avoiding my studies. I've set up that expectation in my own mind, and sure enough, my mind expects the same routine to be followed.

It's also exciting, because it shows how by writing in this daily journal over this 90 day detox, it will reinforce a habit I have partially embraced time and again, journalling.

I'm glad to be at school, and this week has been the best of my post secondary career since I've started. I just feel confident, I'm exercising regularly with weightlifting, walking, and cardio, and most importantly, I've consistently attended classes and studied in the range of 2-4 hours per day. I actually feel myself getting stronger, and there is no doubt in my mind that quitting gaming with thorough commitment this time is the reason why.

Thanks everyone! I'm looking forward to growing with you all more and more.

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Day #6

Yesterday was a tough day. I felt super depressed, and ate too much terrible food. I wanted to play video games badly, but I didn't give in. My unhappiness was triggered by facing a school assignment in which my negative self talk kicked in, and kept repeating "you're not good enough to get this done. Give up now." I let this control me for most of the day, and felt like I couldn't snap out of it.

Eventually I found the strength and pushed through it. Yesterday was a good example of why eating bad food is not conducive to health, physical or mental. It put me into a negative mindset, and set the tone for most of the day that was hard to push back against.

A discovery this led to was how often I played videogames and binged on junk food. I believe I was attacking myself with food to try to cope with how empty I felt inside. I want to move forward this and leverage it to improve my diet, and how I react to the stresses that show up in my life.

Today will be better than yesterday.

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Congrats on making it through such a hard day ithout playing games at all. As I'm in college, I have those negative feelings about assignments a lot too. I've found that once I start though, i soon see it wasn't  so hard. Its really easy to start comparing  yourself to others and feel less-than too. Don't beat yourself over these things, just be proud that you're giving it your all.

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