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Raven

Raven's Journal

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Day 20- My friend is always bringing up league topics with me, I know what he is trying to do. Get me to play again. I just answer the best I can and move on. I find it not triggering at all. Kind of sad really. That he gets caught up in that fantasy world of make-believe. Yes, the grind is a struggle but it is a blessing in disguise as it will make me stronger. 

I calculated all the time I wasted on games over the years. Minus the Xbox and the World of Warcraft. Which I do not have data on. But from my steam totals and league totals, I racked up 1054 hours. 

That scares me big time. That is a lot! 

 

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Depressed today. Really bored these days not a lot of motivation. Going to try meditation again using a different app called Abide. Science really shows how powerful meditation is. I know it is not a quick fix but I am praying that it helps alleviate the seemingly endless suffering of my current situation. Day 21 today

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Day 28- Almost a month. Depressed and tired most of the day. Days feel long and boring. Hoping things get better.

 

Hey that sucks. Do you have any goals beside not gaming for the next few months? If your days feel long and boring thinking about stuff you want to do and actually doing some of them on a daily basis can help a lot.

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Day 28- Almost a month. Depressed and tired most of the day. Days feel long and boring. Hoping things get better.

 

Hey that sucks. Do you have any goals beside not gaming for the next few months? If your days feel long and boring thinking about stuff you want to do and actually doing some of them on a daily basis can help a lot.

Not too many goals no. Other than hopefully getting out of my house if the meds can help me with it. Don't think they have kicked in yet

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What are you doing with the time you freed with not gaming? To fill the time with something positive can make a big change with the whole feel of a day. Does anything come to mind you could try right now until the meds kick in?

I would suggest some sort of mild exercise to use the body's own hormones to feel better. Something like dong a few push-ups (or kneeling push-ups) and squats a day. Just something which makes you sweat a bit and increased the heart rate. Exercise is also a great daily habit because any progression is easily measured. Other things are learning something new ( a language, a skill an instrument whatever is easily practiced daily).

It is ok if some (or all) of these suggestions aren't suitable for you right now. But maybe you find something you can work towards to. Otherwise your motivation to do anything will usually not appear out of nothing. Motivation develops after doing something for an amount of time. Sadly it isn't the other way around.

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What are you doing with the time you freed with not gaming? To fill the time with something positive can make a big change with the whole feel of a day. Does anything come to mind you could try right now until the meds kick in?

I would suggest some sort of mild exercise to use the body's own hormones to feel better. Something like dong a few push-ups (or kneeling push-ups) and squats a day. Just something which makes you sweat a bit and increased the heart rate. Exercise is also a great daily habit because any progression is easily measured. Other things are learning something new ( a language, a skill an instrument whatever is easily practiced daily).

It is ok if some (or all) of these suggestions aren't suitable for you right now. But maybe you find something you can work towards to. Otherwise your motivation to do anything will usually not appear out of nothing. Motivation develops after doing something for an amount of time. Sadly it isn't the other way around.

Day 39 no gaming. Feeling good. I do exercise, one of my many new goals is to progress in calisthenics. Games feel so stupid now. I wonder how I got so invested into them. One of my friends keeps telling me about his big gaming "achievements" Like spending 149 bucks on the new cod and getting 7 wins in a row on league of legends. I look now and think. Wow, thats sad man.

I think he doesn't like me quitting because I shine a light on him that shows him he has a problem

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