Raven

Day 39 no gaming. Feeling good. I do exercise, one of my many new goals is to progress in calisthenics. Games feel so stupid now. I wonder how I got so invested into them. One of my friends keeps telling me about his big gaming "achievements" Like spending 149 bucks on the new cod and getting 7 wins in a row on league of legends. I look now and think. Wow, thats sad man. I think he doesn't like me quitting because I shine a light on him that shows him he has a problem

Hey that sucks. Do you have any goals beside not gaming for the next few months? If your days feel long and boring thinking about stuff you want to do and actually doing some of them on a daily basis can help a lot. Not too many goals no. Other than hopefully getting out of my house if the meds can help me with it. Don't think they have kicked in yet

Day 28- Almost a month. Depressed and tired most of the day. Days feel long and boring. Hoping things get better.

Depressed today. Really bored these days not a lot of motivation. Going to try meditation again using a different app called Abide. Science really shows how powerful meditation is. I know it is not a quick fix but I am praying that it helps alleviate the seemingly endless suffering of my current situation. Day 21 today

A good book? A game of chess?

Day 20- My friend is always bringing up league topics with me, I know what he is trying to do. Get me to play again. I just answer the best I can and move on. I find it not triggering at all. Kind of sad really. That he gets caught up in that fantasy world of make-believe. Yes, the grind is a struggle but it is a blessing in disguise as it will make me stronger. I calculated all the time I wasted on games over the years. Minus the Xbox and the World of Warcraft. Which I do not have data on. But from my steam totals and league totals, I racked up 1054 hours. That scares me big time. That is a lot!

Day 18- Decent day. Kindof boring. Just doing my activities at home. Went for a small walk afterwards but didn't go far

Makes sense man. Its a journey not a race to the destination. I don't want to miss the beautiful scenery along the way. Today has been alright. Semi-productive but a bit tired. Gotta focus on my tasks on my job board. Got the idea from one of the GQ podcasts. Also, I use habitica and have been using that since February and I love it!

Day 16. Finally braved the full dose of my Celexa today. As usual nothing exciting happened it was all anticipation. My grandparents came over for a visit and that made me feel really great the rest of the day.

Thank you for the reply. I am enjoying the day today and yes I am proud of my 2 weeks sober. When did the withdrawal start to lift for you? Cam says around 3 weeks is that accurate?

Hard times today. All day alone and scared. Bad thoughts and suicidal thoughts when depression becomes strong. Sometimes I feel like I can't break free from my mental illness. I feel stuck at home. It has been two years. I am going to go t o my supposed to be dose of Celexa asap. I am on a subtherapeutic dose right now so what do I have to lose? Just scared about side effects but it cant be worse than the depression itself. Just ha d to vent. I am getting more nights like this since winter is approaching and I feel even more trapped

Giblets made some good points, I also struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and I know personally that when I fight the feelings they get a lot worse. Hope you are doing ok Simms. Do you keep a journal?

Day 13 a bit tired today but the sun is out so I am enjoying that. Going to win the day and be productive. Haven't even thought of games during this time which is good. The mood is a bit on the lower side but that is because I am dreading the task of exposure therapy. I might do light work today. We will see. Overall I am enjoying the change that game free living is providing me. My poor brain must have been so fried

12 days game free. Had a great Thanksgiving. People make me feel normal even though I have agoraphobia. They never press the issue and I can have a couple of days without worry. Now back to the grind. And exposure therapy. Still feeling a bit sick but going to finish my workout today.

Thank you for the support! Bit by bit goes a long way! Yes sir!