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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

I'm Sick of Video Games

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Howdy, everyone.
My pen name is Martin V, and to be blunt, I'm here because I'm sick of video games, as well as aimlessly watching youtube/ porn or browsing the web whenever I'm not playing them.

 It's been 2 weeks into my summer vacation and I've barely done ANYTHING productive.  I've just graduated high school, and with endless spans of free time to fill, I've completely avoided everything that I planned to do, always reminding myself that "I'll pick up on the slack tomorrow".  But if I keep this up, there won't be a tomorrow.  Just the same day, everyday, usually playing  hours upon hours of games that I no longer have the passion to mention, and I won't stand for it any longer.  Not only that, but with college coming round the corner, this lifestyle will soon become unsustainable, especially since I've decided to pursue an engineering major.  This isn't even the first time this has bothered me, as this attitude of procrastination coupled with lackluster discipline is what would always cost me an A on my report card, a potential social life, a chance at the Honors Society, and worst of all, rejection from my dream college.  Even though I'm transferring to said college after my freshman year, I know that if I keep living this way, I'll eventually drop out of college and fundamentally give up on any chance of a well paying career, simply because it "looks too hard".

Now this sounds all swell and dandy on paper, but when it comes to actually stopping myself from these bad habits or encouraging new ones, I just can't bring myself to do it.  And even when I do, it only lasts for an hour or so before it's back to the same monotonous cycle.  I want to learn to program, to start working out, to have friends for once instead of acquaintances (or even a girlfriend if I'm lucky), to simply get a job.  That's why I'm here.  I want to take the 90 day challenge, and I want to succeed.  I don't know how far I can go, considering that I've never been able to get passed 3 days before.  But once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up.

I wish everyone here the best of luck.
Martin V.

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I wrote a paper on my chronic procrastination and how it manifests my life! I know I have issues with perfectionism and not wanting to make mistakes. But, since I've obtained years of individual counseling and therapy, I began to recognize that I have a tendency to fear authority figures or have fear of doing anything less than perfect. I fall back into that negative thinking pattern when I will have to do a task where I will be evaluated by others, and I sometimes, unconsciously worry about being criticized, and ultimately hurt by others like I did in the past.  In the past, I was criticized if tasks or grades or whatever was being asked of me "wasn't good enough" and or didn't meet their expectation, I or my sibling experienced verbal/physical abuse. I remember, we were always compared to others, ridiculed, be-littled by authority figures; parents, family, relatives, & culture. So, in some way or another, I think this horrible experiences still informs my procrastination. And for me, my relationship with procrastination is very strange and negative. The way I think of my relationship with it is that if I procrastinate a task or assignment because I'm worrying about not doing it perfect and being negatively evaluated, I don't meet the deadline, and thus don't have to be evaluated. But, the other side of the coin, because I didn't turn it in, I have impacted my grades and or have been evaluated negative by the other for not turning it in. So, one way, I temporarily save face and my self-esteem, but in the long run, I end up harming myself for temporary relief of not being "evaluated negatively." And this being negatively evaluated is something that is informed by my fault thinking style, perceiving, and is not fact based. It's mere interpretation and using past"feelings" past experiences to inform todays experiences. Anyhow, that's my understanding of procrastination. I know that gaming impacts the ability to procrastinate by providing a medium of escape. The medium of escape would be avoiding being negatively evaluated. In some way or another, I believe, procrastination may have some correlation to social anxiety/performance anxiety. At-least, that is my understanding currently. 

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