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This is my first try ever writing a journal and basically I wanted to write about my detox when I first entered the forums here, but the addiction got me back, but after realizing how much time I wasted into gaming today is the day.

As I already stated in my Instruction post I have wasted so many hours into gaming and after taking a break and thinking about that exact topic I realized how bad it is.

Why didnt I take the step and wrote earlier here?
Well, my addiction got me and I downloaded a few games and started playing them again, especially Path of Exile. I started to watch streams, read about different builds, read about Patches, Items, played hours and hours, overnight till the morning to 6-7am, slept, ate a bit and started Path of Exile again with streams.


The same goes with Rocket league. I have wasted 430 hours into this game already and for the most part I play with a IRL friend, I know him now for like 13-14 years, but we never had a "best friend" relationship. The last years it was basically a "hey, I have an issue/problem with my PC, can you help me out?" and since I am the guy who likes to help I was like "yeah sure"… everytime, last year he asked me "hey wanna go out and drink something?", that was the time where I thought "Oh nice, we start to do something"..While we were at the bar he started asking about a new PC, he wanted to buy a new and what I would suggest him and if I could him build a PC… Well, I said "yeah, sure, that will be fun", so what he did there was basically exploit my good nature for his own advantage, but as dumb as I am, I did it and after I built his PC we had no contact for like 2-3 months I think. Then I told him about a game which could be fun playing together (Rocket league), he bought it, and we play it now since then.

We had up and down in the game, gained ranks, lost ranks but all in all we had fun, but never met again IRL.

He is also that kind of guy that when you tell him about your problems his answers are mostly "well, screw it, can't do anything".

I dont know what kind of relationship that is, but… I can't take any advantage of it, because we only play games together.

So today, better said last night I was thinking about all these things and came to the conclusion: It is better to neither play games with him or have big contact with him. When he asks to play some Rocket league I will decline and telling him that I have something to do which needs to be done first. I don't know if thats a good way and how long I could go this way, but at first I think it will be fine, until I can tell him the truth - But I am not sure if he will understand, but first me and my problems then him.

Alright, how and what I am going to do to keep me busy and don't play games?

Well, my eBook library is huge with all the topics covered I want to learn, which I gathered over the last years, aswell as plenty of Video courses with all the topics, additional to that I have bookmarked hundreds of blogs and sites about my topic.

I know eBooks aren't perfectly fine, but since I am low on money I would say it is a good alternative and a good start.

The topics are:

  • Networking (The whole topic, how is X working, why is Y working and what the hell is going on at Z?)
  • Information Security (I was in that topic, stopped it because of games, but getting back to it won't be hard for me)
  • Security at all (BIG and huge topic, RFID security e.g. I have an Arduino with an RFID Reader module which I bought already and used once, so I will get back to that aswell, going out to banks and find skimmers, report it to the bank (I already found a vulnerability at my local bank on their homepage and got in contact with them a while back, went good) Malware research (which I already got in aswell and made some blog posts about it and reported to various big Anti-Virus companies) Application security, Server security, Windows security, etc.)
  • Lockpicking (Already bought a little lockpick set a while back and started it, stopped it because of… gaming…Interesting topic for me, even though I never needed anything related to it, but I kinda like it, because of curiousity)
  • Working on my scripts for windows and linux (mostly servers) which I already started aswell and never got them to be done
  • Do more with my girlfriend (almost 4 years, yay!), watching movies, going out, talk with her, cleaning up the rooms together, etc. Bascially keep the relationship going, even though it is hard sometimes (she has depressions/BPD).
  • Visiting my family more, especially my mother, she did so much for me, love her!
  • Might to make my idea real: Creating a small business, beside my so-called "mini-job" (it is called like that here in germany)
  • Try to get in contact with some nice dudes who also like the same topic like I do (social media, forums, blogs, etc.)
  • Improving my english skills (I think my grammar sucks and some past tense sentences)



Today is day #1 of my detox.

I have wiped my SSD and reinstalled the OS, going to install some virtual servers to play with and going to download a exploitable virtual machine from vulnhub and try to exlpoit it. Maybe I am also going to start reading a book (or at least read the book I already started) and refresh my networking skills by looking into my old memos) and last but not least: washing the damn dishes.

Thats it I think for today.

See ya all!

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Congratulations on taking the first step! At least you have more than enough goals to keep you busy, which is a good thing when you want to get rid of your gaming addiction. If that guy is really only taking advantage of you, then just don't give him any attention anymore, you don't even have to give him an explanation about what you are trying to do. People like that won't care anyway, so don't bother worrying about him. If he starts to ask questions, just say that you are trying to quit gaming, no need to explain him why.


If you ever need help, just ask. :)

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Congratulations on taking the first step! At least you have more than enough goals to keep you busy, which is a good thing when you want to get rid of your gaming addiction. If that guy is really only taking advantage of you, then just don't give him any attention anymore, you don't even have to give him an explanation about what you are trying to do. People like that won't care anyway, so don't bother worrying about him. If he starts to ask questions, just say that you are trying to quit gaming, no need to explain him why.


If you ever need help, just ask. :)

Thanks man. Much appreciated.

Well, todays day will be different I think.

Many plans, none will work. Got a message today that my rent wont be paid from the state - Since I am an jobseeker I get "Jobseekers allowance
" (I think its called like that), it is basically help from the state when you are workless, you get the minimum to live (rent plus a bit for food and so on), I wont go that deep into details, but all the plans changed and I will and need to face some real world problems - calling lawyer, landlord, asking my mother to help me around with the rent so I wont get kicked out of my home.

One day at detox and already a big challenge.

BUT I will stay strong and face the problems, not going to game - I didnt even think about gaming to be honest.

If all this will end good, which I hope, I keep focusing on my goals and plans.

Will update/write here as soon as I have more informations.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Since I cheated to myself and relapsed I didnt write here.

(*hint* I didnt stay that strong...)

The days over easter changed my mind.

What did I notice over these days?

- My "so-well-known"friend"" actually only played when HE wanted with me. Last friday for example we played, made a small break where he said "afk for short", after 3 hours of letting me wait he came back just to say "I am offline now", so... he kept me waiting for 3 hours to say that he is going offline. Also, when we played - Mostly Rocket league 2v2 competitive - we either lost ranks or staid at the same rank, basically no improvement at all.
While we played together I was already thinking about a few things: What the heck are you doing here? Playing games with your IRL "friend", who only asks for playing games or asking for help when he has PC issues, for what? Playing a game for now almost 500 hours and staying at the same rank for months? Sure, you getting better, but even if you jump high and gain ranks, what is the point? Will you write in your resume "Rocket league Gold 3 rank" and be proud of it when looking for an job? Fuck no!

- I was kinda in hurry when visiting my family during easter, because gaming was in my mind and I feel bad for it. Gaming < family? That is retarded and I regret it.

- My working/office room looks like a mess.

So, what are my plans?

The plans from above still apply, but what is in my mind for the next days (order doesn't matter)? 

  • Setting up Virtual machines and prepare them for some penetration testing (CTF's - vulnhub.com)
  • Learn programming, prefered is python at the moment
  • Re-learn languages I already learned, but need a refresher here (PHP mostly)
  • Read books about networking, social engineering, web application (security) and bug bounty
  • Cleaning my room
  • Waiting for @Cam Adair answering my PM already :P In order to keep me busy and to start working on a project I had in my mind.

What I already did:

  • Unsubbed from ALL of the gaming channels on youtube and made the list for Security, (ethical) hacking, etc. bigger
  • Instead of deleting games I formated my whole disk and only installed relevant software
  • Cut the cable of my gamepad into several pieces so I cant touch Rockte league again (can't play it with mouse + keyboard)

That's it so far.

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  • 1 month later...

Alright alright, since I worked for switching the Gamequitters blog and forum from a hosting site to a VPS I changed my life quite a bit.

I started reading books (thanks to http://www.readsy.co/ and various phone apps for faster reading), going out more (taking a walk, visitng my family more often, etc.) and focusing more and more on my topic.

I was searching around for some topics and found something interesting:


So I started talking with my coworker about this little beauty and he said "Sure mate, I still have some spare, I will bring you one", so the next day he gave me one (beside the Arduino he also gave me a Arduino nano! Sweet!) and I found an interesting topic what I can do with it.

It is about RFID. 
I googled around and searched what I need for this and how stuff works, etc.

First, I slaughtered an old PC which was a dust-catcher anyways and ripped this guy, I ended up with the important stuff:

The Motherboard:

And a few cables:

Boy oh boy what a mess.

Since I didn't want to pay for "special" cables for the Arduino (which are normal cables anyways..) I went the DIY way and made them myself.
What I needed?

The little pins on the motherboard and solder them onto the cables, so I also ordered some tools:


The last time I had a soldering iron in my hand is like 14 years ago, but catching up was quite easy and the cables also working well. 

I ended up in creating mixed cables:

Female -> Female
Female -> Male
Male -> Male

So I am basically ready to go and my curiosity is pretty high in learning this stuff.

Here is the full tool pic:

To verify that the cards aren't empty and I didnt get scammed:

So, what's next?

Firing up the Arduino IDE and start my journey about RFID and what the capability is and, of course, learning!

So, hopefully tomorrow I will be able to this, if not it will be the day after tomorrow. I will post it here.

See ya!

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Hey good job on the restart. It was a great step for me to stop gaming last year. I am close (1month) to finishing my masters in chemical engineering and I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have made it if I would still be playing games and watching streams all the time. I am sure it will help you in ways you don't even anticipate right now.

 I am fascinated about software development and did learn a lot about c++ and programming in general at the last year. You seem to be like a classical computer nerd (which I mean only positively). Why don't you search for a job in this area of expertise. You seems to be totally capable of bieing atleast an Administrator. I am searching for an entry level job in software development right now and atleast in my area (south Germany) there are a lot of admin/devops/developer jobs available. Are you still going to school or is something else holding you back?

 Security is definitely on my to study list to but computers are such a big topic so i need first to get my fundamentals on OS and Networking straight before I can go into that :).

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Yes indeed, computers are such a BIG topic, I started with as an help-desk worker, but slowly converting into the Information Security topic (focusing on Penetration testing/Red team, Bug Bounty hunter), I also did some malware research (reverse engineering), but noticed that this isn't my topic because I would need to learn C/C++ and ASM mostly which is too much for my brain (for now, maybe later?).

No prob, I am a nerd :D I like curiousity and breaking things other built (I think thats why I like the penetration testing and bug bounty topic).

I tried to get a foot into this kind of job (even computer repair), currently working in a small company, but not full-time, I also applied to other companies, but: No certs and bad graduation (I hated school..) and my co-worker might start his own company and since he know what I am capable of he wants me, he also wants to do it in the near future.

I was also thinking about doing a small own business with this kind of topic, because reporting vulnerabilities and/or bad security on random websites without having anything seems shady to some guys, so with a small business I have something in my hand at least. 

West germany seems decent for this, but applying to jobs further away from my home held me back so far (comfort zone..), but since I change I might apply to jobs which arent near my city (and if my small business won't work like I expect it AND if my co-worker won't start his own business). So far, there is much good stuff coming.

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Nerdy is the new sexy :P Yeah I had some c foundations from University but it is still a lot of work. In my (limited) experience it is important to focus your efforts and your plan seems reasonable. I will atleast have a masters degree in Engineering which will help me a bit at getting a Job. We'll see if I am successful :). Feel free to message me if you want to look deeper in the c/c++/Assembler direction. I have accumulated some of the needed ressources.

What is your opinion do MOOC's with certificates?

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Never thought (and to be honest, never heard) about MOOCs, but I had OSCP in my mind, but the price.. hard to afford, especially with no "real" job.

Will come back to you when I need C++/ASM knowledge, thanks!

Still plenty of books ahead of me about pentest/bug bounty topic, so yeah..

Certs and degrees will definitely help, if you don't have anything, you need some kind of online reputation, so a blog and (hopefully) some entries in the bug bounty hunter register might help aswell.


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Alright, I got it working.

First I made sure that the Arduino board is working with a simple LED test:


Good. Then I looked for some assistance for the RFID reader.

Found a decent and easy to follow tutorial.

First I made the wiring, to connect the Arduino with the RFID reader:


Then I imported a library for the RFID reader (in my case the MFRC522) into the Arduino IDE, compiled the preset example and uploaded it to the Arduino, checked if it is working:


Then, to dump the Info from the keys/cards I needed to hold them VERY close to the reader and check the infos though the serial monitor from the IDE:



What can you do with this?

Well, your imagination is your best friend :P

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  • 1 month later...

Whew... Almost 2 months no post in here, nice "daily" though.

Well, a few things changed in the last 2 months.

First I started a own, small business which is about IT Security / Information Security, then I have learned a lot (got a couple books on my birthday about this topic and also ordered some E-Books about this topic).

Then I was thinking about the gamequitters Blog. Since I manage the server for both the blog and the forum I noticed some horrible hicups on the blog. You also may have been noticed them: Slow loading time.

The old loading time for the blog was at around 8-9 seconds: 9seconds.thumb.png.3b231cacd8179c26efbb2

I was looking around and digged pretty deep into the server and its configurations and finally found a way to improve the loading time.

The problem was the PHP version and other issues, but mainly PHP. The other problem was, it wasn't easy to change since the forum software is pretty exotic with its current configuration and I didn't want to fiddle around with it too much, so Cam ordered another server which is only for the blog - Which was a test-server at first for playing around with it and test different configuration setups for the blog.

I think the result is pretty huge and the improvement is pretty well.

Here the new loading times for the blog: loading_time.thumb.png.56fad39b36743f8de

I also reduced the queries a little bit aswell as the used memory. So overall a good improvement and hopefully everyone is happy with it.

I have to admit that I also keep gaming at the moment, at least when I have free-time or when I need to cooldown after all the learning and practical things, I am fine with it, since it doesn't controls me or takes a big piece in my life.

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