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Anners

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Hello! J

 

I am Anners and I am 15 years old, soon to be 16. I have been gaming for a few years and as of recently, since I moved to England (last year, I am originally Romanian), I have been playing a lot more and spending a lot more time on the Internet. I believe this is because the Romanian educational system allowed me very little free time, whereas the British one involves little homework per week – which was a blessing, I thought, but unfortunately it allowed me to develop bad habits (e.g. sedentary lifestyle, gaming) as I never learnt how to use this time effectively.

That’s what I want to change.

I have dreams and aspirations as well as clear visions of how I want to improve myself, but I find it hard to even get started because as soon as I sit down and start playing LoL, the only breaks that I’ll have are toilet breaks, and there’s no way I’m going to diplomatically, willingly stop playing after 3 hours and go “Oh, time to do homework, then!” No. I’ll do it before I go to sleep, half-assedly, whilst remembering that I had so many things that I wanted to do that day (e.g. reading, writing, finishing a paper for school, helping out a student by researching something for them etc.), all of which I haven’t done. Next day I’d be told off by teachers for slacking off and I’d awkwardly admit that I haven’t done what I promised I’d do. The disappointment is overwhelming at times.

So yeah, this desire for change comes from a place of disappointment. I am a bright student, an intellectual person and what-have-you, but no amount of intelligence makes up for the work I should be doing but haven’t done. I want to become an author, yet I get no writing done. I’ve studied all about writing, because it’s easy to sit and absorb, but I’ll always procrastinate actually writing by playing games. I want to become an avid reader, and I’ve borrowed a few books from the library as well as trying really popular, highly recommended books, like Harry Potter, GoT, Wuthering Heights etc., and I love reading them. But getting to it… physically standing up, taking the book, sitting down and starting to read. That’s what’s hard. That’s where games, the procrastination and other bad habits that I’ve formed kick in.

I am currently in Year 11. What that means is that I’m in my last year of secondary school before I head off to college, which, the way I explain it to non-British, is like… high school in the US, but you only get 2 years of it? Kind of like that. If you know what I’m talking about and you feel my definition doesn’t do it justice, feel free to give your own.

Why is this information important, though? Well, secondary school, as most adults on this forum can probably attest, is not a place with particularly nice people that can provide a nice social setting for nerd types or people with a general desire to form deeper connections. I get on with most people, I am a prefect (yes, they exist), I do well in school and everything, I am quite philosophical and always craving for more hippy stuff like hikes (still a fantasy I haven’t put to practice; it’s something I’d like to do socially), deep conversations, self-improvement and so on – which somewhat isolate me from people my age. What I’m trying to say is that I can replace games with:

·         other challenging activities, such as learning a language (e.g. French or Swedish), getting better at dodgier school subjects

·         other activities that allow improvement, such as studying, writing (hello?), even exercising.

·         other forms of escapism, such as reading and writing, hikes.

But, the social side if a bit shaky for me. What I was thinking is perhaps finding like-minded people on various nerdy forums and just generally being intelligently social on the Internet (meaning, no drama, no gossip, just improvement and having a good time). Just for a year. Until I can go to college (where I’ll have loads of clubs and other extracurricular opportunities). It’s either that, or being fake for a year and going out and doing all the stuff I am not keen on doing, the only pros of this being it’s more tangible, physical interaction (e.g. hugs – good stuff) and I’ll have the opportunity to explore my town a bit more and get used to being surrounded by people. I don’t think the latter is particularly attractive, though.

 

What do you think I should do about the latter? Should I be fake – as in, not have the deep, meaningful interaction that I want – but have real life interaction or should I be authentic and stay virtual, for a year, just a year GODDAMMIT, or should I wait one year altogether before going cold turkey? 

Edited by Anners
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Welcome Anners! Great to have you here with us. I'm curious, why do you believe meeting people in your local environment means you have to be fake and unable to have deep, meaningful interaction? Have you tried to do that before?

Hi, and thanks! As for your question, I wasn't necessarily referring to people in my local environment as much as I was referring to people in my age group, in my school. I have no real reason or place to interact with older people because, honestly, I don't know where to find them or how to approach them. That's what's going through my head when I say, "Maybe I should wait until college altogether".

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Welcome Anners! Great to have you here with us. I'm curious, why do you believe meeting people in your local environment means you have to be fake and unable to have deep, meaningful interaction? Have you tried to do that before?

Hi, and thanks! As for your question, I wasn't necessarily referring to people in my local environment as much as I was referring to people in my age group, in my school. I have no real reason or place to interact with older people because, honestly, I don't know where to find them or how to approach them. That's what's going through my head when I say, "Maybe I should wait until college altogether".

Most of my friends growing up were older. No reason you need to only be friends with people your age. For where to find them, are there any extra curricular activities are your school? Maybe you could join a gym or rock climbing center? Other events like meetups can be a good option - you're 15 so please take caution with any of these suggestions and make sure you seek these out with the support of your parents.

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Welcome Anners! Great to have you here with us. I'm curious, why do you believe meeting people in your local environment means you have to be fake and unable to have deep, meaningful interaction? Have you tried to do that before?

Hi, and thanks! As for your question, I wasn't necessarily referring to people in my local environment as much as I was referring to people in my age group, in my school. I have no real reason or place to interact with older people because, honestly, I don't know where to find them or how to approach them. That's what's going through my head when I say, "Maybe I should wait until college altogether".

Most of my friends growing up were older. No reason you need to only be friends with people your age. For where to find them, are there any extra curricular activities are your school? Maybe you could join a gym or rock climbing center? Other events like meetups can be a good option - you're 15 so please take caution with any of these suggestions and make sure you seek these out with the support of your parents.

I did actually have a look at meetups. Do you think people would be interested in meeting up with teenagers? Assuming it's something kind of grand like, a writing group of a reading group. I say "grand" cause maybe people take it seriously and they expect me not to? I don't know. I hope you get what I mean.

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 I did actually have a look at meetups. Do you think people would be interested in meeting up with teenagers? Assuming it's something kind of grand like, a writing group of a reading group. I say "grand" cause maybe people take it seriously and they expect me not to? I don't know. I hope you get what I mean.

That's just a stereotype about teenagers. Go prove them wrong. :)

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