Hello

[Jaydarian]

I'm 24 years old. My history with gaming started at a very young age.

I recall instances of playing in front of a bright blue screen at night usually. I also recall playing a Gameboy and the need to carry it everywhere. My days in childhood were usually filled with reading books or playing games on the computer or on console (SNES, Playstation, Gamecube) when I was home.

I recall stranger behavior with games:

1. Staying up all night in front of a PC after being instructed to not do so
2. Golden Sun was a game I was going to receive for Christmas. However, in the middle of the night, I opened the package, took the cartridge out, and resealed the present.
3. My parents removed Donkey Kong 64 from the console. I sneaked into their room in the middle of the night and was caught trying to get it.
4. My computer was in a locked room - with the key belonging to my parents. I would devise ways to sneak into the room including through the window.
5. My consoles were locked in another room in the same house. I would remove the door off the hinges to play when parents were not present.

The game that I absolutely recall "hooking me in" was League of Legends from 2008-2012. This also included Heroes of Newerth and DOTA2. This time period includes my end of high school and my total college career. I recall purchasing a laptop for laptop, specifically for its gaming specs (which were poor - I bought a Macbook). I would play LoL in the library instead of studying. I was in a fraternity and many of my brothers played videogames. Over my college career, my grades would deteriorate immensely - so I would fail or drop classes.

My life took a large turn when I joined a networking scheme - which led me to leave school. During this time, I stopped playing video games to pursue "financial success." After that failure, I went to a different school.

From 2013 onwards my video addiction was immensely curbed through other hobbies - Crossfit and playing in a band. I still played occasionally.

in 2015, I dropped out of school and decided I would focus on music and an IT career.

In 2016, I found a job in another city. I moved and eventually came to live on my own (an apratment) this past summer. One of the first things I did was download old videogames and play them.

When I was performing the act of downloading and playing the games - the question of "Why" truly arose - but I did not know how to answer it. I only spent 2 hours or less playing, but I was unsettled by the fact that I felt compelled to play games.

Eventually, I found a new game to play - Hearthstone, then leaving that for Duelyst. I played it often after my regular job (M-F, 10-6) for a few hours.

This was my hobby (along with guitar) until I went to a music festival in September. My model of the world was completely shattered. I stopped playing Duelyst entirely and focused on quitting my job and traveling.

Today, I am unemployed and choose to stay unemployed for a few more months. I am currently living with a roommate and I am watching videos, reading books, and socializing often in my community. I want to improve my self to find what I truly want to do in life. In the meantime, however, I am unsure what to do about video games. I can feel the urge arrive often but I simply do not know why I want to play. And I do not know what the benefits are to playing video games.

Questions on my mind include: Should I never play a game again? Should I play a game, but only 5 hours a week? Am I using the game as an escape? Do I truly feel challenged by playing video games? Should I play video games because it's something I'm "good" at?

Thank you all, and thank you Cam especially. I've never even considered just how much impact games have had on me.

[Guest]

Welcome !

[dandielionous]

@Jaydarian Welcome!

 

[Cam Adair]

Welcome! Happy you're here with us. To reply to your questions, focus on taking 90 days off games first and then re-evaluating whether you want to try to play or not. 90 days is important for a variety of reasons, which you can find here if you're not familiar yet. Games are a common way to escape and without games you'll need to find new ways to get a break from the day - there's nothing wrong with needing a break, but finding something that also provides value to your life is important. Watch this video for more on that. When it comes to gaming being something you're good at, watch this one.