Introducing myself

[notKosmic 88]

I quit pornography when I started dating my wife over ten years ago.  I thought I had also quit gaming.

Gaming has been a big part of my life.  It started in pre-school with a brand-new Nintendo.  Starcraft became a way to compete with a few friends in middle school and at a local MTG cafe.  Then, I was part of a clan that played hardcore Diablo II.  That was high school.  I used to skip school sometimes just to play especially when I had headaches after JV football season.  Anyway, I thought I had left games behind me and had become a man.  A man leaves childish things behind... but they have continued to creep in my life at the most stressful and tough times.  I go back to the old escape of video games.

It starts by watching youtube videos and streaming... then, I start playing when a new expansion comes out for Hearthstone.  After playing for several days I usually play so much I get burnt out and "quit."  I quit until the next time comes at least.

I uninstall the game several times... reinstalling the next day or so... etc. etc.

I'm detached from my wife and children.  I'm not able to enjoy my career as much.  I am not reading, playing my french horn, or learning Spanish, Greek, or Hebrew.  I live to escape.  I game to get there.

Today, I'm quiting.  Next week, my son will be born.  This is a turning point.  Thank you all for the encouragement and support.  I am glad to be a part of this and find what it looks like to live fully human.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."

notKosmic

[notKosmic 88]

I got rid of my Hearthstone account by disenchanting all of my cards and dumping all of the dust until I had none left.  That was tough.  I spent some money and time accumulating those cards.  But, it was a good thing to do.

[notKosmic 88]

This has been the most stressful year in my life. I forgot to mention what I do for a living.  I'm a new past or in an impoverished community in Arizona.  It has been a little over a year since the transition and move.  

In this past year:

We had a miscarriage, we moved into a bad neighborhood from a good one, my Mom died suddenly at the age of 50 on April 3rd, and recently a neighbor has been stealing things from our church and then threatened to kill me and my family.  

I'm looking forward to the modules on how we feel.  I've done a lot of work in the past to work on scheduling, agenda setting, goal setting, etc.  But, when I was under this kind of stress lately.. all of that went out the window!  I didn't know how to swim in those kinds of waters.  

[Cam Adair 5077]

Welcome! Great to have you here with us. 

A book you might enjoy right now is Resilience by Eric Greitens. It can help you a lot with those moments you're under a lot of stress. 

[AlexTheGrape 989]

Wow what an inspirational story!

If you're using steam and are looking for a more permanent uninstallation of your video games, I'd recommend using the steps listed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/2t384s/how_to_get_rid_of_your_steam_account_in_60_mins/

Give us a yell if you need some extra support, we're here to help! (Namely tagging us in a post will do the job, there's a lot of journals and such to read!)

 I wish the best for your journey to quit gaming