Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Sean Kelley

Hello! First timer here

Recommended Posts

Hi, I'm Sean. I'm currently a junior at Purdue University studying Computer Science. I haven't ever been at the point in my life where I played video games for 16 hours a day every day, but I did play a lot in my past. Pretty much all my friends and people that I know in my Computer Science classes like to play video games and stay inside in their free time. This was me during my freshman year, and I have been trying to break away from that trend. Last year, I joined an Honor's Fraternity, and I started going to the gym. Now, I am the Fundraising Chair for my group, and I lift weights almost every week day.

I've been majorly cutting down on video games for a few months now, but the thing is: I feel like I am part of two worlds. I have one side of me that is telling me to embrace my "inner nerd" and really be a part of the "Computer Science culture" with a certain group of people, and another part of me that I am developing where I am social and outgoing.

I know within myself that these two lifestyles aren't mutually exclusive, but it is just a difficult feeling sometimes. I am passionate about software development and coding, but I don't get satisfaction from staying inside and playing games in my free time. I am enjoying working out, meeting new people and experiencing new things, but at the same time there is a large part of me that is reserved and logical.

Have you ever had this feeling? Where it feels like you are balancing in the middle of two lifestyles to make your own path?

I am quitting video games cold turkey, because I want to embrace this "best of both worlds" feeling. I get caught up so much in what other people are doing sometimes, and video games made me feel like I belonged to a certain social group, and that I needed to be exactly like the people in this group. The truth is, I like where I am at, being the guy that makes develops software by day, and goes out at night. It just feels so lonely sometimes.

Edited by Sean Kelley

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Sean! Great to have you here with us! Excited to follow your journey. From the sounds of it, you're close. I think removing games is great because during the day you can build software and code and in the evenings you can do things off the computer, which will help you still feel the energy that life has to offer. Both will energize each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can totally relate to this feeling of being divided up into two different people...for me I feel like there is a part of me that is dorky, logical, kinda scared and wants to just be comfortable then there is an adventurous, spontaneous, trusting in life to the point of naive part. When I think about my life and how there have been times when I am just gaming away for the whole day, feeling completely disconnected from people then other times when I am hitchhiking around Maine for two weeks and befriending/hanging out with the locals, hiking the High Sierra in California for a month, or hiking by myself off trail for a week and feeling completely on top of the world it's like what? is this the same human being? ;) Especially confusing since these highs and lows in my life have alternated...I guess for me I have something to learn about letting go of the past and moving on from all the built up negativity I had / (still) have.

I think when I AM doing things right, living my life the way I want to I struggle feeling burdened with a sort of guilt that I'm 'faking' it, like the game-addicted version of me is more real and I am just hiding it when I don't show that to people. Which is why I think this forum / community is so helpful to be able to communicate and let that old shit out, better out than in!

Anywho, sorry to digress so much and hijack your intro thread, not really sure I'm being relevant to your situation at all...I do believe that in order to be the best human beings we can be it is important to have various parts / interests and it is totally up to you to decide how to combine them and choose how you spend your time. The idea that programmers also play video games on the side is totally just a social construct / stereotype or whatever you want to call it...just an idea / expectation that exists in people's minds and it's totally up to you whether you want to do that or not. Sure, some people may have a hard time with your choices that go against the expectations they themselves carry, but I think one of the best ways to figure out which relationships you want to invest in is those people who not only accept your choices by which you express your individuality but are positively delighted by them! And remember that going against others' expectations is their problem, not yours!

Also: you're doing really good, keep following your passions, I think that in the long run one of the best things to be doing to combat loneliness :)

Edited by MmmWatermelon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Video games made me feel like I belonged to a certain social group.

?Sadly. most times this is but a fallacy, you're only as "loved" and "accepted" as your performance in the game. Back in my wow days, I got really good at healing and would often get called in for raids, often taking the main healing roles in them. One day though, I was sick, had a headache and Lightheadedness, could barely function but still agreeded to join a raid cause they were my "friends" and you don't let friends down. needless to say, I made that 10 man raid wipe once, then twice, then 3 times, and by the time we were getting ready for a 4th and final attempt, they had started to call me names and belittling me. I couldn't belive they'd ever say those things to me after I gave my best despite feeling like udder garbage, but it is what it is, so I left the raid, the guild and never talked to them again.

I'm not saying you can't find really good friends in games, but it becomes a true challenge to do so since things are not always what they seem. Now I'd rather stick to irl friends or none at all, works better for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess for me I have something to learn about letting go of the past and moving on from all the built up negativity I had / (still) have.

?Two books I'd recommend: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Daring Greatly by Bren

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! There's a bunch of really great people on this forum. Just about all the posters here are quality posters and are so helpful! I do my best to blend in with these great folks! If there's anything you'd like to ask, I'd be happy to try to answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

?Sadly. most times this is but a fallacy, you're only as "loved" and "accepted" as your performance in the game. Back in my wow days, I got really good at healing and would often get called in for raids, often taking the main healing roles in them. One day though, I was sick, had a headache and Lightheadedness, could barely function but still agreeded to join a raid cause they were my "friends" and you don't let friends down. needless to say, I made that 10 man raid wipe once, then twice, then 3 times, and by the time we were getting ready for a 4th and final attempt, they had started to call me names and belittling me. I couldn't belive they'd ever say those things to me after I gave my best despite feeling like udder garbage, but it is what it is, so I left the raid, the guild and never talked to them again.

I'm not saying you can't find really good friends in games, but it becomes a true challenge to do so since things are not always what they seem. Now I'd rather stick to irl friends or none at all, works better for me.

?I can really relate to this. I used to play WoW, and I missed a guild raid one time and people were pissed. I thought they would understand that I had irl activities that took priority, but to some people that game is their reality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...