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Relingo

Nicks Weekly Journal

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I'm a week into my journey now and I haven't had that many urges to play the games that I would say were my problem games, namely League of Legends, Counter Strike Global Offensive, and World of Warcraft. Most of my urges come from WoW with the pre-patch for the legion expansion coming in a week. Where my real urge to come back to playing any games is racing. About 2 months ago I purchased a rather expensive wheel and pedal set with a manual shifter. I wanted to get into simulation racing. It was something I spent a few hours a week on while primarily playing a lot of the other games previously mentioned. The racing is something I really miss, it's something that I could do in real life technically provided I had a manual transmission car or a race track nearby but those just aren't options at the moment but it was something I actually enjoyed doing, I guess it sounds like I'm trying to rationalize playing again, but I don't have the intention of playing again because I fear if I started simracing again just being on my desktop might lead me to playing my other games.

Aside from the small amount of League, CS, and Wow urges and the want to do some simulation racing my week has been fantastic. I've been making the most out of my days. Practicing a lot of Piano again, playing Tennis with people I used to train with, and just hanging out with old friends or friends who have left town for University and are back for the summer. I'm also going on a trip for a month this Friday to Poland, and I've never had any trouble with completely cutting out games when I'm travelling so I just need to keep myself from coming back to games for the next few days and then I feel like I'll have an easy month ahead which should get me rolling for the full 90 days.

I feel like this first week has overall made me a more positive person, I don't feel as irritable or angry and I'm generally just more happy with where I think my life will be headed without video games. I'm still searching for something to fill the competitive void that I have without playing League, but it's something I can cope with for now and am hoping to figure out soon.

 

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Alright maybe this won't be weekly necessarily, but inconsistent with a minimum of a touch on a weekly basis.

Yea Cam! I've visited Poland many times, I'm from Canada but both of my Parents are Polish and all of my relative are there. Hycniejsy, I'll be visiting Wrocław primarily but I intend on making stops in Warsaw and Krakow later on in my trip because of friends I made that actually moved there from the states between the last year and now!

Anyways to continue with the journal, my day wasn't too bad, I met with a friend to play Tennis for a little while and was trying to get some stuff sorted out with the University, had me running all over the place! Once I was back home though I just sort of lazed around and watched Netflix, and some streams on Twitch. I've noticed myself using Netflix and Twitch as sort of crutches while I stop playing video games. It's something I want to stop but I feel I lack the motivation in the moment to do something else, Reading per se.

It's currently 3:18 AM (Atlantic Canada Time Zone) here and I'm having trouble falling asleep, it's left me thinking a lot about the past and I'm getting stuck on a lot of the things I used to be really happy with. I understand that these things weren't all perfect, I wasn't always happy, but I just find it difficult comparing the memories I've made and thinking what I've become or where I've led myself in the past few years. Thinking ahead and thinking about what my memories will be of the past few years where my gaming addiction was at its peak is pretty depressing in it's own.

On the bright side I'm not particularly having issues keeping myself away from video games, albeit crutching on Twitch to watch streamers that I used to enjoy doesn't entirely feel right to me considering it's me watching the games I used to play. I think I'll be able to use it as a stepping stone to drop everything related to games though and that eases my mind at least a little. The cravings for games are still there don't get me wrong on that end but they're weaker and much more controlled, I don't wake up and instantly think about video games which I feel is one of the biggest leaps for me so far. I used to wake up in the mornings get out of bed and before anything else turn my computer on which is in a different room, then I'd rush some sort of morning routine without breakfast so I could try to get into my chair and on my computer right around when everything would have loaded up just to log in to some games.

I think I'll start signing off on these at the bottom and leaving my name and tag for now and when I feel I've moved further away from gaming I'll take away the tag, it's something thats grown to be a part of me to the point where people from other gaming communities in my city recognize me as that guy who played League or just Relingo. Heck I know a handful of people that call me Relingo over Nick on a regular basis, and I think it's and important step for me to dissociate my tag from my name.

Edit: Sorry if any of this is incoherent or hard to follow, I've always been pretty disorganized with my thoughts.

Nick/Relingo

Edited by Relingo

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It's currently 3:18 AM (Atlantic Canada Time Zone) here and I'm having trouble falling asleep, it's left me thinking a lot about the past and I'm getting stuck on a lot of the things I used to be really happy with. I understand that these things weren't all perfect, I wasn't always happy, but I just find it difficult comparing the memories I've made and thinking what I've become or where I've led myself in the past few years. Thinking ahead and thinking about what my memories will be of the past few years where my gaming addiction was at its peak is pretty depressing in it's own.

Keep going man. You will blow yourself away at just how far you're able to go as you dedicate yourself more and more to your own personal development. Travis (kortheo)'s journal is a good one to read for this.

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That's awesome you're gonna visit not only Wrocław Cracow, that's same city I'm living right now!

By the way, if you're parents are from Poland, does it mean you're bilingual and can also speak Polish?

Ah, and if you have troubles with quitting streams, then be aware that every game is just a fake ilussion of the real life. Take League of Legends for instance. How many times you can die in real life, then get back and all you do in your life is to fight and use your special abilities? No sleep, no food etc? It's just not real, so it's not worth even watching.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist.

 

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