Alright maybe this won't be weekly necessarily, but inconsistent with a minimum of a touch on a weekly basis. Yea Cam! I've visited Poland many times, I'm from Canada but both of my Parents are Polish and all of my relative are there. Hycniejsy, I'll be visiting Wrocław primarily but I intend on making stops in Warsaw and Krakow later on in my trip because of friends I made that actually moved there from the states between the last year and now! Anyways to continue with the journal, my day wasn't too bad, I met with a friend to play Tennis for a little while and was trying to get some stuff sorted out with the University, had me running all over the place! Once I was back home though I just sort of lazed around and watched Netflix, and some streams on Twitch. I've noticed myself using Netflix and Twitch as sort of crutches while I stop playing video games. It's something I want to stop but I feel I lack the motivation in the moment to do something else, Reading per se. It's currently 3:18 AM (Atlantic Canada Time Zone) here and I'm having trouble falling asleep, it's left me thinking a lot about the past and I'm getting stuck on a lot of the things I used to be really happy with. I understand that these things weren't all perfect, I wasn't always happy, but I just find it difficult comparing the memories I've made and thinking what I've become or where I've led myself in the past few years. Thinking ahead and thinking about what my memories will be of the past few years where my gaming addiction was at its peak is pretty depressing in it's own. On the bright side I'm not particularly having issues keeping myself away from video games, albeit crutching on Twitch to watch streamers that I used to enjoy doesn't entirely feel right to me considering it's me watching the games I used to play. I think I'll be able to use it as a stepping stone to drop everything related to games though and that eases my mind at least a little. The cravings for games are still there don't get me wrong on that end but they're weaker and much more controlled, I don't wake up and instantly think about video games which I feel is one of the biggest leaps for me so far. I used to wake up in the mornings get out of bed and before anything else turn my computer on which is in a different room, then I'd rush some sort of morning routine without breakfast so I could try to get into my chair and on my computer right around when everything would have loaded up just to log in to some games. I think I'll start signing off on these at the bottom and leaving my name and tag for now and when I feel I've moved further away from gaming I'll take away the tag, it's something thats grown to be a part of me to the point where people from other gaming communities in my city recognize me as that guy who played League or just Relingo. Heck I know a handful of people that call me Relingo over Nick on a regular basis, and I think it's and important step for me to dissociate my tag from my name. Edit: Sorry if any of this is incoherent or hard to follow, I've always been pretty disorganized with my thoughts. Nick/Relingo