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A quick update


Tanvir
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Hey guys, I know I said that I was gonna write the journal but I didn't because I didn't really feel like writing too much. It's been a week and a half since I quit, my life is way better now. I bought an electric guitar and been learning to play. I had thoughts of playing the game twice this week but didn't. I'm just wondering what am I gonna feel after 30 days. I know I can pass 30 days easily because I've done that before.  

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Great job! Keep going one day at a time. You're doing many of the right things right now. Stay focused and things will continue to get better and better over time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey all, 

It's been 2 weeks. Writing journals every day is just too much for me. So, I have decided to write journals every week. Never really thought about gaming at all this week. Yesterday was one of the best days of my life I enjoyed a lot. I went to ride a bike along the sea wall in Vancouver with few colleagues. It was awesome, going through the trails of Stanley park was adventurous. I love taking pictures of our nature and this ride allowed me to take a lot of pictures. Getting back to my old hobby of photographing nature brought the old me. I can clearly see a huge transformation in me. Earlier my life was all about just going to school, work and then play games all day and night. And, now its more than that I have school, I have work, I have a guitar to learn, I now sometimes go out in the morning to click some pictures and hopefully I can find more hobbies (prolly gonna start playing soccer again :P). I am really committed this time. I want to change. 

P.S. here's a picture that I clicked yesterday. 

 

IMG_20160402_190640[1].jpg

Edited by Tanvir
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  • 2 weeks later...

Week 4:

Feeling utterly depressed. I pulled 2 all nighters just to study for my accounting's final exam. Why I did so? Well, I've been gaming all semester so I had to catch a lot of material. My exam was for scheduled for Wednesday 8am that is today and at around 5 am in the morning I passed out. I just couldn't stay up any longer I guess. I woke up at 9:30am and felt like a complete failure. I started hitting myself and cried for a while. A huge amount of effort went down the sink hole in a second. I never express my feelings to anyone and today I feel like I need to say this to someone and can't just get over this incident. I would always say to myself it's okay it'll be fine but this time its different. I cannot just cannot share it with anyone else either because I know I'm either gonna get scold or get rejected even MORE OFTEN. I had to get this off my chest so I thought about coming here. 

Still trying to get over it. Peace. 

 

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Week 4:

Feeling utterly depressed. I pulled 2 all nighters just to study for my accounting's final exam. Why I did so? Well, I've been gaming all semester so I had to catch a lot of material. My exam was for scheduled for Wednesday 8am that is today and at around 5 am in the morning I passed out. I just couldn't stay up any longer I guess. I woke up at 9:30am and felt like a complete failure. I started hitting myself and cried for a while. A huge amount of effort went down the sink hole in a second. I never express my feelings to anyone and today I feel like I need to say this to someone and can't just get over this incident. I would always say to myself it's okay it'll be fine but this time its different. I cannot just cannot share it with anyone else either because I know I'm either gonna get scold or get rejected even MORE OFTEN. I had to get this off my chest so I thought about coming here. 

Still trying to get over it. Peace. 

Thanks for sharing bro. Sharing is really important and you don't need to keep everything to yourself. Have you spoken with your teachers or a counsellor at school about things? They might be able to help you.

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Week 4:

Feeling utterly depressed. I pulled 2 all nighters just to study for my accounting's final exam. Why I did so? Well, I've been gaming all semester so I had to catch a lot of material. My exam was for scheduled for Wednesday 8am that is today and at around 5 am in the morning I passed out. I just couldn't stay up any longer I guess. I woke up at 9:30am and felt like a complete failure. I started hitting myself and cried for a while. A huge amount of effort went down the sink hole in a second. I never express my feelings to anyone and today I feel like I need to say this to someone and can't just get over this incident. I would always say to myself it's okay it'll be fine but this time its different. I cannot just cannot share it with anyone else either because I know I'm either gonna get scold or get rejected even MORE OFTEN. I had to get this off my chest so I thought about coming here. 

Still trying to get over it. Peace. 

Thanks for sharing bro. Sharing is really important and you don't need to keep everything to yourself. Have you spoken with your teachers or a counsellor at school about things? They might be able to help you.

Yes, I have. Unfortunately, the only way for me to write a make up exam is by submitting a doctor's note explaining the reason why I wasn't there. I have met our school counselor before and I did share a lot of things and I felt good which is why I was able to gather enough confidence and courage to quit gaming forever. While, I was there they also told me that instructors are the only ones who can help you regarding the course related issues. So, there's no luck. However, I have decided to take a break, I won't be attended summer semester this time. I think I really need a break and earn a living and also live on my own, I don't want my parents to pay for my fees.

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Week 4:

Feeling utterly depressed. I pulled 2 all nighters just to study for my accounting's final exam. Why I did so? Well, I've been gaming all semester so I had to catch a lot of material. My exam was for scheduled for Wednesday 8am that is today and at around 5 am in the morning I passed out. I just couldn't stay up any longer I guess. I woke up at 9:30am and felt like a complete failure. I started hitting myself and cried for a while. A huge amount of effort went down the sink hole in a second. I never express my feelings to anyone and today I feel like I need to say this to someone and can't just get over this incident. I would always say to myself it's okay it'll be fine but this time its different. I cannot just cannot share it with anyone else either because I know I'm either gonna get scold or get rejected even MORE OFTEN. I had to get this off my chest so I thought about coming here. 

Still trying to get over it. Peace. 

Thanks for sharing bro. Sharing is really important and you don't need to keep everything to yourself. Have you spoken with your teachers or a counsellor at school about things? They might be able to help you.

Yes, I have. Unfortunately, the only way for me to write a make up exam is by submitting a doctor's note explaining the reason why I wasn't there. I have met our school counselor before and I did share a lot of things and I felt good which is why I was able to gather enough confidence and courage to quit gaming forever. While, I was there they also told me that instructors are the only ones who can help you regarding the course related issues. So, there's no luck. However, I have decided to take a break, I won't be attended summer semester this time. I think I really need a break and earn a living and also live on my own, I don't want my parents to pay for my fees.

That sounds like a good plan. Although school may not have worked out how you thought it would, in a few years this will be merely a moment in your life that helped guide you to where you end up in the future - and you will continue to grow and improve in the future. I look back at my life and years ago there were things that happened that I thought were terrible, but many good things came from them.

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Week 4:

Feeling utterly depressed. I pulled 2 all nighters just to study for my accounting's final exam. Why I did so? Well, I've been gaming all semester so I had to catch a lot of material. My exam was for scheduled for Wednesday 8am that is today and at around 5 am in the morning I passed out. I just couldn't stay up any longer I guess. I woke up at 9:30am and felt like a complete failure. I started hitting myself and cried for a while. A huge amount of effort went down the sink hole in a second. I never express my feelings to anyone and today I feel like I need to say this to someone and can't just get over this incident. I would always say to myself it's okay it'll be fine but this time its different. I cannot just cannot share it with anyone else either because I know I'm either gonna get scold or get rejected even MORE OFTEN. I had to get this off my chest so I thought about coming here. 

Still trying to get over it. Peace. 

Thanks for sharing bro. Sharing is really important and you don't need to keep everything to yourself. Have you spoken with your teachers or a counsellor at school about things? They might be able to help you.

Yes, I have. Unfortunately, the only way for me to write a make up exam is by submitting a doctor's note explaining the reason why I wasn't there. I have met our school counselor before and I did share a lot of things and I felt good which is why I was able to gather enough confidence and courage to quit gaming forever. While, I was there they also told me that instructors are the only ones who can help you regarding the course related issues. So, there's no luck. However, I have decided to take a break, I won't be attended summer semester this time. I think I really need a break and earn a living and also live on my own, I don't want my parents to pay for my fees.

That sounds like a good plan. Although school may not have worked out how you thought it would, in a few years this will be merely a moment in your life that helped guide you to where you end up in the future - and you will continue to grow and improve in the future. I look back at my life and years ago there were things that happened that I thought were terrible, but many good things came from them.

Thank you for the good wishes and yeah this is the reason why I get over things easily and move forward. I genuinely try to find the positive aspects of my life. 

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One month:

Slowly losing it. Just like my previous attempt to quit gaming, Im losing it after a month. The drive to life a good life is slowly fading away. I do not have the willingness to face my responsibilities and just trying to avoid it. I am looking a for a new full-time job but don't know from where to start. I want a more career-orientated job which seems to be impossible because companies are not gonna hire an inexperienced non-graduate. This feeling of being a failure is killing my ambition. Simply, because I don't know where to go. For the record, I haven't started gaming and will not install games on my computer whatsoever. Till next time.

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One month:

Slowly losing it. Just like my previous attempt to quit gaming, Im losing it after a month. The drive to life a good life is slowly fading away. I do not have the willingness to face my responsibilities and just trying to avoid it. I am looking a for a new full-time job but don't know from where to start. I want a more career-orientated job which seems to be impossible because companies are not gonna hire an inexperienced non-graduate. This feeling of being a failure is killing my ambition. Simply, because I don't know where to go. For the record, I haven't started gaming and will not install games on my computer whatsoever. Till next time.

A good book to read right now is Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. The current struggles you're having is exactly what you need to overcome to get to the next level. What is the next step you can take for a job? What kind of career-oriented job do you want? Any ideas? Do you have your resume ready?

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I am looking for companies willing to hire an inexperienced book keeper. I don't have resume ready but I do have a template which I change according to the job the company has to offer. 

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