Alright, most of us have friends who are still gaming fanatics.  I have at least a handful of online friends who continue to game for very long hours at a time.  Whether they are managing their own lives while gaming is another question, that I would be hesitant to ask them. 

So, my question is, how do you relate to your friends who game?  I noticed that since I stopped gaming, there has been less communication from my online gaming friends. Our only common ground was gaming, it seems.  Sadly, it's this group of friends that I am drifting from.  Also, maybe I'm being judgmental, but I think most of them are addicted to gaming, and prefer this lifestyle instead of what we are all doing:  finding other activities which makes us feel good about ourselves and adds to our life.  I never thought that gaming added significant benefits to my life, even while I was gaming on a daily basis.

I am amazed at how many people on this forum have changed their lives around, simply by quitting gaming, btw.

Hope to read your responses soon, and thanks

Dannigan

 

Some of my thoughts on this are here. There's a few things to consider:

1. It's ok to drift away from your gamer friends, in fact it's natural. We tend to surround ourselves by people we have things in common with, so when we make a big change in our life our friend group can reflect that. It may not happen with all of your friends, but sometimes, many of them. This doesn't only happen with gaming, and happens with any big change.

2. I always believe it's best to be interested in the person and not the common "subject." To often we keep our relationships "surface level," where we talk about topics we have in common, instead of really diving deep and connecting on a more emotional level of who they are and what they believe in. As humans, we all experience emotions - many of them the same emotions, and thus we are able to relate or find common ground on that level with anybody. 

Some of my thoughts on this are here. There's a few things to consider:

1. It's ok to drift away from your gamer friends, in fact it's natural. We tend to surround ourselves by people we have things in common with, so when we make a big change in our life our friend group can reflect that. It may not happen with all of your friends, but sometimes, many of them. This doesn't only happen with gaming, and happens with any big change.

2. I always believe it's best to be interested in the person and not the common "subject." To often we keep our relationships "surface level," where we talk about topics we have in common, instead of really diving deep and connecting on a more emotional level of who they are and what they believe in. As humans, we all experience emotions - many of them the same emotions, and thus we are able to relate or find common ground on that level with anybody. 

Cam I really appreciate the link and your thoughts on this subject.  It has been bothering me for some time.  I watched your link and was very relieved to hear your solutions to finding a new social circle.  It was also a relief that the cycle of friendships changes over our life-time, and that people may not be lifelong friends.  You are right, it doesn't just happen with a gaming community.  Great link, Cam!  I gotta thank you for starting this website, because it has helped so many people including myself. 

You made a great point about focusing on the person instead of the surface and superficial levels.  Maybe I'll shoot them an email and ask different questions that are open-ended and divert the topic away from gaming.  I have never tried Skype, but maybe Teamspeak or a VoiceChat communication of some sort would be helpful too. 

Here's another observation.  Perhaps when people are gaming as I did, and others, they game for so long that each day seems like the same day to them.  Whereas, for people who are replacing gaming with other activities, the days are very different now and time is more measurable.  What I'm trying to say is that my gaming friends may not realize how long time has lapsed since they last made contact with me because time is no longer measurable to them due to their excessive gaming?  I remember time went by quick when I gamed, and Saturday seemed like Sunday.  In other words, they might not have noticed how long I've been gone.  You know what I mean?   

Anyway, I have digressed!  I am looking forward to new social circles which are already in place:  meditation group, yoga group, running group!  Oh!  I also joined a theater arts group as well, and will be attending a ballet on Friday!!! 

 

Edited March 16, 201610 yr by Dannigan