DragonLove's Personal Journal

[DragonLove]

Today was a bit of a rough day, due to events that occurred earlier this week. I ended up getting into a fight with my mom, to the point I had a small mental breakdown later that day. Ever since then, I've been avoiding home. My mind has mostly erased the events of that argument too, which is annoying because all I remember is getting incredibly upset and not much of the details.

Tuesday started off well. I went to see the Barbie movie with my mom, then treated her to lunch afterwards. It was a really good time! But on the car ride home, she decided to bring up something that I don't exactly remember. During the whole argument I just felt like she was not listening to what I was saying at all. She's a very stubborn person, where her view and experience is what she thinks everyone else experiences. Thankfully, it's not too crazy, but in cases like this, where either my mental issues or personality just makes it hard/impossible for me to do something, she refuses to understand. So I end up breaking down because I just can't get my point across, and she keeps going on and on and on and on, refusing to stop even after I ask her to.

Ever since then, I've just been leaving the house almost immediately after waking up, just to get away from everything. I stay out until 10 pm, come home, then immediately go to my room. Today, I just drove around a bit, found a shady spot to park in, then just did nothing productive for 7 hours. It's just hard for me to even try talking to her, because I'm scared that she once again won't listen, and everything will just become worse.

[Cam Adair]

Welcome to the forum!

[wheatbiscuit]

1 hour ago, DragonLove said:

Today was a bit of a rough day, due to events that occurred earlier this week. I ended up getting into a fight with my mom, to the point I had a small mental breakdown later that day. Ever since then, I've been avoiding home. My mind has mostly erased the events of that argument too, which is annoying because all I remember is getting incredibly upset and not much of the details.

Tuesday started off well. I went to see the Barbie movie with my mom, then treated her to lunch afterwards. It was a really good time! But on the car ride home, she decided to bring up something that I don't exactly remember. During the whole argument I just felt like she was not listening to what I was saying at all. She's a very stubborn person, where her view and experience is what she thinks everyone else experiences. Thankfully, it's not too crazy, but in cases like this, where either my mental issues or personality just makes it hard/impossible for me to do something, she refuses to understand. So I end up breaking down because I just can't get my point across, and she keeps going on and on and on and on, refusing to stop even after I ask her to.

Ever since then, I've just been leaving the house almost immediately after waking up, just to get away from everything. I stay out until 10 pm, come home, then immediately go to my room. Today, I just drove around a bit, found a shady spot to park in, then just did nothing productive for 7 hours. It's just hard for me to even try talking to her, because I'm scared that she once again won't listen, and everything will just become worse.

This is almost exactly why I had my own breakdown. It's the most difficult relationship to try and improve, isn't it? - mother and son. I guess we have to have some faith that a confrontation about how a shared 'best' relationship would go is inevitable and healthy, even if that might mean one more source of love that becomes conditional. I dunno. Here with you, man.

Edited July 29, 2023 by wheatbiscuit