Beginning Again

[Ace92]

Hello everyone!

 

My name is Ace, and I have gamed about fourteen years straight. As the youngest of four my older brothers introduced me to video games when I was around five. 
 

I am currently a nineteen year old college student and I have realized that gaming cannot continue. This past semester made me fear that I was going to fail three out of the four classes I was taking because instead of putting effort into my work I was gaming, browsing the Internet and listening to music. 
 

Even for my final exams this semester. I put a small amount of effort into them. I want to be an English major, what did I do for my English final? I looked up the answers. What happened during my Music final exam? Because I was playing video games I wasn't able to submit it to the assignment on Canvas. So, I had to email the professor a weak response that I whipped up in less than 20 minutes. Being Take-Home-Exams does not excuse this simple-minded, lazy, and arrogant behavior. Thankfully my grades came out great this time around, two A's and two B's but I shouldn't cheat nor fear that my grades will be in jeopardy.

Gaming has lead me into a downward spiral. I feel my mind is becoming more numb than novocaine. The brain should not be restrained or dumbed down. But being on screens all day, laying in bed, and keeping my headphones on 24/7 has caused isolation, insomnia and the thoughts that everyone around me doesn't know what they are talking about. I'm in my head too much. Heck, some days I don't even get out of my bed until noon because I'm sleeping or I'm glued to the screen.

In short, I hate this. I hate this with all my heart. Gaming has not only caused my lack of activity, but it has ruined my passion to do anything. I also think gaming has caused me to develop symptoms of ADD, though I have yet to get this properly diagnosed. The problem is I realize how much damage this is causing yet I have recently failed to get my body to realize that repeating this cycle day after day is boring. It's boring. I don't want to live my life like this. 
 

I have come on here to say no more. I am going to start living my life. My grades, relationships, well-being and health are in too much jeopardy to risk another day of sitting. I will strive to become a productive member of society rather than useless matter that has been fused together. My hope? Learn as much as I can, listen; even to dumb conversations, and overall, live a fulfilling life. I am finally turning off the phone. I am unplugging the headphones. And most importantly I am putting down the controller. 
 

 

Wish me luck 

Ace

[Paul A.]

Welcome, Ace! Thanks for sharing your story with us. We’re here to support you and hold you accountable. Best of luck!